lately
so as i was cleaning out my jobcorps locker and moving to another one...bottom bunk..fuckin finally... i started hanging pictures on my locker of all the ones i miss... and i came upon a picture that becky took, that brought a tear to my eyes.....fuckkkk. i miss alot of things it seems...but me being able to except the losses and the mistakes only shows that i am over my past, for now, im making a name for myself. i found out i will be here probably two years...i have to take a diploma class, then go into assitant nursing for three months, then for a year to two years i will be in medical assisting, but im thinking maybe ill stick with assistant nurse, but i think thats just my homesick feeling talking.
i think about what i have there and yeah the most important thing is my family i have and fuckin miss, but honestly when i think about it i dotn have much there besides that, nothing but bad memories, of being fucked over everyway possible. memories of plain old shit...alot of things remind me of what i once loved. and alot of things remind me of why i shouldnt call that love. but for now, i think....i know it was love. so before i got here i went through it all, breakdowns, craziness, loss, and heartbreak. so what i see it as is i cant go any further down. only up. and im looking forward to the up. and ive got a crush but i know that itll take everything in me to not go for it, give in, because i know if i do i will just be reliving everything, and better yet it will fuckin distract me from what i came here for, i dotn need that. but boy is he gorgeous........
so i think that im gonna collect my thoughts and but on my determined shit face and head back and watch a movie or something with my new friends...
thank you mom for the care package and cigarettes... i owe you my life!!
i think about what i have there and yeah the most important thing is my family i have and fuckin miss, but honestly when i think about it i dotn have much there besides that, nothing but bad memories, of being fucked over everyway possible. memories of plain old shit...alot of things remind me of what i once loved. and alot of things remind me of why i shouldnt call that love. but for now, i think....i know it was love. so before i got here i went through it all, breakdowns, craziness, loss, and heartbreak. so what i see it as is i cant go any further down. only up. and im looking forward to the up. and ive got a crush but i know that itll take everything in me to not go for it, give in, because i know if i do i will just be reliving everything, and better yet it will fuckin distract me from what i came here for, i dotn need that. but boy is he gorgeous........
so i think that im gonna collect my thoughts and but on my determined shit face and head back and watch a movie or something with my new friends...
thank you mom for the care package and cigarettes... i owe you my life!!