You and the Night and the Music (VI)
Finally, after more than 2 years in hiatus, I was able to complete Chapter 6. Sorry it took me so long, RL SUCKS and I am really, really bad in time management. Sorry and please enjoy!
And I hope that there are people still around supporting our OTP.
Ann_chan (tacuma811), my heartfelt gratitude goes out to you. Love you~
Track 6/?
Pairing: TezukaFuji
Rating: I think it's getting more serious for General viewing, so I guess it's PG13... ^_^"
Genre: Romance in general, with a little Angst
Word Count: 4,844
A/N: The music has begun, will they dance their hearts out or just let it end?
An AU for my OTP with OCs. Sorry for some OOC.
Previous Chapters: Track 1: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/3317.html| Track 2: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/4780.html| Track 3: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/5977.html| Track 4: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/6307.html| Track 5: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/7665.html
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TRACK 6: Come Down To Me
Caerulean is a Major Force to Be Reckoned With
Caerulean is the biggest recording act in Japan. The band had sold over 30 million records nationwide since the group was formed and has been a household name since then. They managed to capture the hearts of almost, if not every girl in town and recently they started invading the international music industry. For the past several months, the group, which is led by Shusuke Fuji (lead guitar and vocals), together with Eiji Kikumaru (piano), Takeshi Momoshiro (bass guitar) and Kaoru Kaidoh (drums), have/had been busy performing outside the country. Caerulean proved popular to the international crowd when their one-night performances in South Korea, Taiwan, Germany and London were all sold out respectively.
The band released their new album last week and it debuted at number-one on the Oricon weekly album chart with initial sales of 860,329 copies on its first day out in the market. And the album sales continue to rise every single day. It is the band's first studio album with English songs and it was announced earlier this week that it will soon be released outside the country. Their first single from the new album "Make you feel my love" also topped the Oricon daily chart and was chosen to be the opening song of a romance drama series that will be aired in the spring next year.
There is no doubt about the band's popularity - according from a nationwide magazine's survey, the band appeals to all. But who's to blame them? Caerulean has it all; good looking young men with amazing talents and pleasing personalities. Not to mention that their music is loved by the general public and all band members were at the top bachelors under 25 in the country. All in one package as others would say. That is why it is not surprising that their fan base grew throughout the nation and even outside the country. Expect that there is more to come from this band, ending the year with a blast.
Fuji folded the morning newspaper with a smile on his beautiful face. It had been only a week when their new album was released and the reception from their fans and the media was overwhelming. The numbers of the album's sales already reached the 2 million mark. The band's label management and Oishi were very busy receiving calls from television and radio stations, requesting for the band's appearance. And with their album set out to be released internationally, the media abroad were already lining up to set up schedules for interviews. With these, the boys could only be seen either at school, at home or at their label's studio. It was a good thing that their university's celebrating its foundation week and that there were no classes which gave them extra time to use for promoting the album.
Fuji stretched out his arms up his head and held his breath for a while. When he felt his muscles relaxed, the honey-brown haired man stood up and sauntered to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and walked back towards the living room. He made himself comfortable in one of the sofas, with one leg underneath him. It was only 7 in the morning and he had all day for himself. They retired from work early the night before but Fuji couldn't sleep at all despite that he was really tired and was feeling a little bit under the weather. They were in and out of different studios for interviews and tapings for the whole week but none of those made him stop thinking. When all the work was done and he was alone at home, his mind always wandered at night and he couldn't get any sleep. The insomnia he fought so hard for a year and half was back once again, and this time it was all because of a man named Tezuka Kunimitsu.
Every night, his mind was filled with Tezuka and the faithful kiss they shared. Many weeks had passed since that night but Fuji could still feel the warmth of the amber-eyed man's lips and the gentleness of his kiss. He never knew that a man as stoic like Tezuka could take his breath away with just one kiss. Without realizing it, his hand moved towards his lips and brushed them gently with his fingertips. And though he refused to remember, his mind drifted back.
Tezuka's face was inches from the honey-brown haired man's. No room to escape. With that, Tezuka slowly reached for Fuji in a swift motion, closing the gap between them. The smaller man was left nothing to do but to close his eyes as the bespectacled man kissed him softly on his lips.
Blood boiled under Fuji's skin and he felt dizzy. The warmth of Tezuka's body made it impossible to think and he started to lose sense of time. The flickers of electricity on his spine were almost unbearable. It felt like he was having his first kiss. Reality didn't fully set in until Tezuka let go of his lips. It wasn't until Fuji's head started to swim that he realized he wasn't breathing.
Their eyes held and the silence deepened as both men tried to catch up with their breaths. Tezuka's gaze lingered on Fuji's surprised, but still beautiful face. He could see the millions of questions inside those deep blue eyes before the smaller man looked down.
'Fuji,' Tezuka said softly, breaking the silence first after gathering his thoughts.
The smaller man looked up in time to see Tezuka's amber eyes close again. His handsome face was unexpectedly vulnerable.
'I am sorry,' the taller man continued, his voice was almost a whisper.
Fuji forced a smile. 'Don't be. I guess we're just both drunk,' he said, while trying very hard to hide the pain in his voice.
Tezuka's mood suddenly changed and his eyes became brooding. He ran a hand through his hair and drew a deep breath.
'I am not apologizing for the kiss,' the tennis super star said intently. His voice was unintentionally seductive. 'I'm sorry if I surprised you or worse if I frightened you,' Tezuka continued tenderly.
Fuji looked into Tezuka's eyes, abruptly grasping what the taller man meant. Without a word, he understood Tezuka; his thoughts and emotions were visible in those amber eyes. He knew that the dark-brown haired man could see right through him too and it scared Fuji. All of the bitter memories he left behind came rushing back, hunting him once again.
The honey-haired man shook his head back and forth. He gathered all the courage he had to look at the amber-eyed man for one last time. 'You can't fall in love with me, Tezuka,' Fuji whispered slowly but the words came out clearly.
The blue-eyed didn't wait for the other man's reply. He placed both hands in Tezuka's chest and lightly pushed the taller man. He turned around and took a step away, never looking back.
Fuji felt his cheeks warmed up when his thoughts brought him back and he could hear his own heart thumping louder. He still couldn't believe what had happened between him and the tennis super star. It was too sudden and he never thought that Tezuka could be so bold to do such a thing. He wanted to believe that both of them were just drunk that night and the kiss was only influenced by alcohol. It only happened and there was no deeper meaning behind it. But every time his mind reasoned out, his heart could feel the pain of rejection and he didn't like it. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. What made it worst was that despite how he wanted to deny it, Tezuka made him realized how the taller man felt for him and that he was feeling the same way too. Every emotion that the athlete never showed was embedded in his kiss. He just knew Tezuka not long time ago, but in an instant, without a fight, Tezuka had already captured his heart. His heart that was once shattered in pieces.
The blue-eyed man let out a deep sigh and buried his face in his hands. He felt defeated and torn, and afraid, but there was no one to blame but him. He was careless and let his guard down. He didn't think that someone would come his way and make his heart beat again. He was convinced that he had already learned his lessons and should have/had been wiser. He had learned in a painful way that love wasn't always enough. If only he had seen it coming and started running away a long time ago. If only he didn't know how cruel the society could be to people like him. If only he and Tezuka were regular people. If only and if only. Fuji had countless if only, but reality bites and there was nothing he could do but to move on and forget Tezuka. He knew that he needed to stop himself from falling deeper for the amber-eyed man before it was too late. It would only cause him heartbreak, and this time, he was sure that he wouldn't survive it. Not when he was just done picking up the pieces and putting his heart and world back together.
Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to chase what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.
A few miles from Fuji's apartment, Tezuka let out a deep sigh after pressing the end call button of his mobile phone. He removed his glasses and sank back to his seat. He rested his head on to the back rest of his leather sofa and stared at the ceilings. It was a Saturday; no university and as far as he knew, he didn't have anything scheduled for the day. Tezuka planned to spend the whole day in his apartment doing some laundry, cleaning or maybe read some books but he couldn't think straight anymore.
He was on the phone talking to Atobe just a few moments ago to remind him about their photo shoot tomorrow. As Tezuka's acting manager, Atobe was the one who managed the tennis superstar's schedule and the like. After discussing his schedule for next week, their conversation somehow led to the inevitable, Fuji.
'So how are you these days, ahhn Tezuka?' asked Atobe.
'I am fine.' He answered shortly.
Atobe smirked. 'Are you sure? Aren't you missing someone? It has been weeks since you last saw Fuji, so I guess that you are dying to see him,' the diva said in a matter-of-fact tone.
'What do you mean?' the amber-eyed man asked, hiding his surprise.
'Don't play dumb Tezuka. We are both adults and you know what I'm talking about. But if you're still insisting that you don't know, well I guess I'll just spell it out for you. What are you planning to do about your feelings for Fuji Shusuke? Hmmm?'
Tezuka was quiet for a few moments. For once, he did not know how to respond and what to say. Of course he wouldn't tell Atobe that he already made a move a couple of months ago. That was something he wouldn't want anyone, mostly Atobe to know. He would just give Atobe the license to tease him. He was sure that his friend would be surprised and would say that it was not like him. Really, it was not like him, far from the old Tezuka who was always in control of his emotions. But that night was an exception - he wasn't able to keep his control at bay, not when Fuji sounded like he was saying goodbye. Not when it sounded like the smaller man was pushing him away.
You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.
He knew he acted on impulse, he kissed Caerulean's vocalist out of the blue and it wasn't planned but he never regretted doing it. In fact he was happy, for he discovered that Fuji was feeling the same way for him. He did not need words to confirm that - everything was out in the open when he looked at those blue eyes that night. He knew that the lithe man also loved him, no matter how Fuji hid it. He did not stop Fuji when the smaller man walked out on him only because he knew that Fuji needed space and time to think.
When he looked at the vocalist for the last time, he was certain that there was something else in Fuji's eyes, and it was fear. It made him more curious and left wanting to know more about the blue-eyed man. He wanted to learn everything about Fuji, but time did not give him a chance to see, more so talk to the honey-brown haired man. He was busy preparing for the next tournament while Fuji was packed with Caerulean's schedule, not to mention that both of them had universities to attend to. He just contented himself by watching the band's music videos whenever possible or staring at the band's pictures which were published in almost all local magazines nationwide. But those weren't enough; instead, his longing to see the vocalist grew stronger. Sometimes when he thought about it, he swore he could laugh at himself. At the age of 21, he never imagined himself feeling like a teenager - like a young man who felt love for the first time. Butterflies in the stomach, sleepless nights thinking the person you love, wanting to protect that someone - these feelings weren't foreign to him anymore. Fuji brought these emotions that were alien to him but everything felt natural. It was as if they have known each other for a very long time. He was a man of few words and most of the time people who did not know him personally thought that he was arrogant and he didn't mind. But it was different with Fuji. Even with the simplest stare, he knew Fuji understood him, just like how he could tell the other man's thought by just looking at those electric blue eyes.
After some thoughts, instead of answering his friend, he asked back. 'Why are you so concerned about it?'
'I thought you would ask that and I know that it's none of my business,' Atobe started. 'But as time goes by after you met Fuji, you've changed without you knowing it and that intrigued me. Believe me; I did not want to meddle or something. But seeing you while you're with him and the way you look at him, I realized that you must be in love! But you were too slow to notice that. That's why I was not able to hold back,' the young tycoon said with an obvious smirk on his voice.
Atobe let out a soft laugh before continuing. 'Well, maybe I can't blame you - I would also feel confused if for the first time I felt love was with a man. This may sound harsh and all but it is definitely not normal and not everyone accepts it. But who cares? I don't care, and I know that Inui and the others won't give a damn, as long as you are happy. We all want you to be happy, you know that. But let me tell you one thing before you celebrate, this won't be easy, because you are Tezuka Kunimitsu. The famous Tezuka Kunimitsu,' Atobe said, dragging his words. 'I know this for a fact because I know Fuji's past. I am not in the position to tell you what happened in his past, but as a friend I'll give you a hint. Not all people are like us, most are dumb and narrow-minded. Once you decided to pursue Fuji, news will be out in no time. People will know, and when they found out, they'll talk about it. You and Fuji aren't ordinary folks, both of you are famous personalities. Everybody is watching. It'll be huge news and I am very sure that the media will be very eager to turn this in to a circus. Your perfect life will change forever. You are an intelligent man and you can puzzle the pieces out, and that'll give you an idea what happened to Fuji. That is all I can say and the rest should come from him. I may be arrogant, I know that, but I still know how to respect others. So think hard my dear friend. If you decided to go for it, there's no turning back. Please don't tell me that it is my fault that you and Fuji met. I am certain that both of you are fated to meet, somewhere, sometime. I know that for sure and at the end of the day, everything will boil in to one and this is the inevitable. Don't worry, all of us will be at your back and we will support you, no matter what you decided to do. It is your life and you have the right to be happy. I just don't want anyone being hurt.'
Tezuka remained silent even after Atobe stopped talking. He'd known the multi-millionaire for a long time, but this was the first time he learned this side of Atobe. He did not think that the diva would be so concern about him and deep inside, he was thankful to that.
Tezuka sighed heavily. He didn't need Atobe to spell it out for him; he had already figured it out. He did not need to be a rocket scientist to know what the diva meant. Indeed, he was in a predicament and he was very aware of that, he was not born yesterday.
As a law student, some of their case studies were about homosexuality. Many people thought that gayness was a disease and that gay people were discriminated, branded as abnormal. Amidst all that, he was also aware that there were people and groups that were supporting the rights of the homosexuals. But Atobe was right; he knew that if he pursued his feelings towards Fuji and the media learned about it, it would be a total pandemonium. People would talk, not only in Japan but internationally as well. He could imagine the headlines of every tabloid in town, scrutinizing his life and the thought bothered him. Tezuka knew that the press and media would not stop, until they got every bits and pieces. His family might get involved, no, he was sure that they would be involved. Being a public figure, he knew how it worked: the harassment, the heckling, the mental abuse, everything, and he didn't want any of those. He had enough of the media's antics. He was also certain that Fuji's name would be drag down along with his. His friends, Fuji's friends, everyone around them would be involved. Never in his entire existence that he thought would he encounter such situation. He knew it was wrong though he didn't detest homosexuality. He was neither against it nor the relationship between the same genders. He was brought up not to judge other people. He thought that everyone had equal rights and that falling in love was something that couldn't/can't be controlled. And love made its point to him and he never imagined himself being in the same situation.
Reality was harsh and it dawned on him how serious the situation was. But by just thinking Fuji, all his doubts went away. Countless women threw themselves at him but none of them made him feel the way he felt for Fuji. None of them made him realized that he was missing something from his almost perfect life. Fame, money, looks that could rival a movie star, tennis, intelligence and education, a very good family, social status, he had everything he wanted and he was satisfied. He was satisfied as long as he could play tennis to his heart's content. Tennis was his life, it was him. He couldn't ask for more until he met Caerulean's vocalist. That's why he was not afraid; he would not turn back knowing he would regret it someday. He needed to be brave and he would not let anyone, anything to ruin his new found life.
'My, my. A speechless Tezuka is so rare, it is a shame I cannot see you right now,' Atobe teased, a hint of lilt was obvious in his voice. 'I told you that my insight doesn't miss a thing. Just hurry up and invite Fuji already. I think it'll help you to think and decide once you see him again.'
Tezuka adjusted his glasses and answered. 'You don't need to tell me that, I am not a kid. Just don't do anything outrageous anymore and let me do it my way, Keigo. You've done enough,' the bespectacled man stopped short and drew a deep breath. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow and thank you.'
'You are very welcome,' was Atobe's short response before he hung up.
Now what? Tezuka thought silently as he drew another deep breath for the umpteenth time. As the clock ticked, he realized that he really didn't know what to do and that made him want to laugh at himself. For the first time ever since he held his first tennis racket, he was feeling nervous and excited. He was sure that if he called Fuji and asked him out, the said man would just avoid him. The only thing he could do was to go and see the blue-eyed man unannounced, so Fuji wouldn't have time to escape this time. There was only one person to call, who would tell him where he could find the honey-brown haired man: the band's manager, Oishi.
'Fu-ji-ko!' Tezuka heard Kikumaru called out again for the third time while pressing his ear against the door.
The two of them were standing in front of Fuji's apartment's door and were waiting for the vocalist to open up but it seemed like that there was no one home. When he called Oishi earlier, the young manager didn't hesitate to tell him where Fuji was. And when the pianist learned about it, Kikumaru offered to accompany him since the red-head man knew a route where the press and fans won't notice them.
Kikumaru tried ringing the door bell again and when there was still no answer, the bouncy young man looked up at Tezuka and smiled.
'There's no other choice then,' Kikumaru said while rummaging the insides of his bag.
Tezuka saw Kikumaru pulled out a set of keys and opened the apartment's door. The red-head man read the hesitations in the bespectacled man's eyes when he held the door open and invited Tezuka inside.
'Don't worry Tezuka, Fujiko is inside. I called him earlier. Maybe he's just doing something that's why he can't hear us. He gave me a duplicate key to use in cases like this. So come in.'
And when the taller man didn't move an inch, Kikumaru sighed. 'Or do you want me to call Fujiko to get you?' The red-head asked, leaning his head on one side while smiling. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was teasing Tezuka.
The tennis super star was left nothing to do but to grunt his throat and followed the red-head pianist. When he was already inside the apartment, Tezuka noticed the frames hanging on both sides of the corridor. The mini gallery was a mixture of portraits and landscapes and Tezuka was impressed. There were both colors and monochromes. Every pictures and scenes were intense and were captured perfectly. It was as if he was looking at them personally. In an instant he knew who took the pictures, and once again he fell in love.
Kikumaru led him towards the living room and offered him a seat. The room was so spacious - to the left was a U-shaped, dark teal sofa that could seat 8 adults comfortably. Across it was a stainless steel, modern fireplace, with a couple of white egg shaped easy chairs around it. On the right side near the entry way was a wall mounted unit that housed a state-of-the-art entertainment system. The walls where all painted in spotless white, except for the floor to ceiling slide glass window that overlooked the Ueno Park. It was like looking in to a full-blown moving landscape.
When Tezuka was seated, the bouncy young man told him to wait and left, padding towards an entry way. After a few moments, Kikumaru returned and Tezuka saw a glint in his eyes. Tezuka was about to ask where Fuji was when he saw the smaller man placed a finger across his lips.
‘Shhhh,’ Kikumaru hushed as he carefully opened the door across the living area.
Both men were welcomed by the sound of the piano when the red-head man successfully opened the door slightly. Tezuka knew who was playing and it made him realize why Fuji couldn't hear the door bell or Kikumaru. Tezuka saw the said man's face lit up with a gentle smile and comfortably sat beside him. Tezuka leaned forward, set his elbows on top of his legs and laced his fingers together as he joined Kikumaru listen who seemed to be enjoying Fuji's private piano recital.
The sound was rhythmically floating in the air and was surging throughout the entire apartment. Both men were left speechless as they continued to listen, enraptured.
'He is playing with it.' Tezuka heard the man beside him.
'With what?' he asked.
Kikumaru answered without looking at him. 'Our new song. Fujiko's adding instrumental, improvising, like an ad lib before he would start playing the original notes.' And like it was on cue, after a few more notes, Tezuka heard a familiar sound and Fuji's voice joined the music and sang. Once again, Tezuka was drawn into a different world.
'Do you like the song, Tezuka?' Kikumaru asked while shifting his head and looked at the bespectacled man, beaming.
The amber-eyed man did not lie; he knew what song was being played and he liked it the first time he heard it a week earlier. 'Yes,' replied Tezuka. His eyes never averted from the door across them.
The red-head smiled. 'That's great to hear then. Fujiko was the one who wrote the lyrics, arranged and composed the music.' Kikumaru sighed before continuing. 'I am very, very happy. Do you know why?' the pianist asked, not really waiting for an answer. Tezuka looked at Kikumaru and raised an eyebrow, motioning the other man to continue. 'Let me tell you a short story. When we formed the band, Fujiko was the one who wrote and composed most of our songs; he just knew the right words and the right melody. He is a natural, a genius. He actually knows how to play all our instruments very well if I may add. As being the front man of the band, we decided it in an instant on him. We knew that with Fujiko as our leader, we can never go wrong. And he did not disappoint us, he always know what to do and what not. Because of him we are where we wanted to be. It was always like that but everything change a year and half ago.' The cat-eyed man returned his gaze towards the door across them as he continued. 'Something happened to Fujiko which left him devastated. I know he tried very hard not to show it. He didn't want us to worry about him, but that was impossible. Amidst all that, he still did what he needed to do, but he worked almost 24 hours a day, abusing his health, started smoking, wouldn't touch the piano and he can't even write a single verse. We all knew he was hurting but we couldn't do anything. We tried talking to him but that did not work. It was as if he closed his heart to everyone, including us.' Kikumaru wiped his tears before they fell and looked again at Tezuka, now grinning and his eyes were sparkling. 'But when I look at him now, he is returning to his old self, almost. Almost there. I know that in time he'll be able to forget. Thanks to you.'
Tezuka looked at Kikumaru, not fully understanding what the other man said. 'Why?' he asked. The red-head sighed before answering, as if Tezuka asked him the most stupid question. 'Because you love him.’ Kikumaru looked at Tezuka's eyes without batting an eyelash. 'But let me warn you, if you ever hurt him, even a single hair of him, I will find you no matter where you go and kill you.'
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Your comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Come Down to Me by Saving Jane
And I hope that there are people still around supporting our OTP.
Ann_chan (tacuma811), my heartfelt gratitude goes out to you. Love you~
Track 6/?
Pairing: TezukaFuji
Rating: I think it's getting more serious for General viewing, so I guess it's PG13... ^_^"
Genre: Romance in general, with a little Angst
Word Count: 4,844
A/N: The music has begun, will they dance their hearts out or just let it end?
An AU for my OTP with OCs. Sorry for some OOC.
Previous Chapters: Track 1: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/3317.html| Track 2: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/4780.html| Track 3: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/5977.html| Track 4: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/6307.html| Track 5: http://kat-himesama.livejournal.com/7665.html
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TRACK 6: Come Down To Me
Caerulean is a Major Force to Be Reckoned With
Caerulean is the biggest recording act in Japan. The band had sold over 30 million records nationwide since the group was formed and has been a household name since then. They managed to capture the hearts of almost, if not every girl in town and recently they started invading the international music industry. For the past several months, the group, which is led by Shusuke Fuji (lead guitar and vocals), together with Eiji Kikumaru (piano), Takeshi Momoshiro (bass guitar) and Kaoru Kaidoh (drums), have/had been busy performing outside the country. Caerulean proved popular to the international crowd when their one-night performances in South Korea, Taiwan, Germany and London were all sold out respectively.
The band released their new album last week and it debuted at number-one on the Oricon weekly album chart with initial sales of 860,329 copies on its first day out in the market. And the album sales continue to rise every single day. It is the band's first studio album with English songs and it was announced earlier this week that it will soon be released outside the country. Their first single from the new album "Make you feel my love" also topped the Oricon daily chart and was chosen to be the opening song of a romance drama series that will be aired in the spring next year.
There is no doubt about the band's popularity - according from a nationwide magazine's survey, the band appeals to all. But who's to blame them? Caerulean has it all; good looking young men with amazing talents and pleasing personalities. Not to mention that their music is loved by the general public and all band members were at the top bachelors under 25 in the country. All in one package as others would say. That is why it is not surprising that their fan base grew throughout the nation and even outside the country. Expect that there is more to come from this band, ending the year with a blast.
Fuji folded the morning newspaper with a smile on his beautiful face. It had been only a week when their new album was released and the reception from their fans and the media was overwhelming. The numbers of the album's sales already reached the 2 million mark. The band's label management and Oishi were very busy receiving calls from television and radio stations, requesting for the band's appearance. And with their album set out to be released internationally, the media abroad were already lining up to set up schedules for interviews. With these, the boys could only be seen either at school, at home or at their label's studio. It was a good thing that their university's celebrating its foundation week and that there were no classes which gave them extra time to use for promoting the album.
Fuji stretched out his arms up his head and held his breath for a while. When he felt his muscles relaxed, the honey-brown haired man stood up and sauntered to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and walked back towards the living room. He made himself comfortable in one of the sofas, with one leg underneath him. It was only 7 in the morning and he had all day for himself. They retired from work early the night before but Fuji couldn't sleep at all despite that he was really tired and was feeling a little bit under the weather. They were in and out of different studios for interviews and tapings for the whole week but none of those made him stop thinking. When all the work was done and he was alone at home, his mind always wandered at night and he couldn't get any sleep. The insomnia he fought so hard for a year and half was back once again, and this time it was all because of a man named Tezuka Kunimitsu.
Every night, his mind was filled with Tezuka and the faithful kiss they shared. Many weeks had passed since that night but Fuji could still feel the warmth of the amber-eyed man's lips and the gentleness of his kiss. He never knew that a man as stoic like Tezuka could take his breath away with just one kiss. Without realizing it, his hand moved towards his lips and brushed them gently with his fingertips. And though he refused to remember, his mind drifted back.
Tezuka's face was inches from the honey-brown haired man's. No room to escape. With that, Tezuka slowly reached for Fuji in a swift motion, closing the gap between them. The smaller man was left nothing to do but to close his eyes as the bespectacled man kissed him softly on his lips.
Blood boiled under Fuji's skin and he felt dizzy. The warmth of Tezuka's body made it impossible to think and he started to lose sense of time. The flickers of electricity on his spine were almost unbearable. It felt like he was having his first kiss. Reality didn't fully set in until Tezuka let go of his lips. It wasn't until Fuji's head started to swim that he realized he wasn't breathing.
Their eyes held and the silence deepened as both men tried to catch up with their breaths. Tezuka's gaze lingered on Fuji's surprised, but still beautiful face. He could see the millions of questions inside those deep blue eyes before the smaller man looked down.
'Fuji,' Tezuka said softly, breaking the silence first after gathering his thoughts.
The smaller man looked up in time to see Tezuka's amber eyes close again. His handsome face was unexpectedly vulnerable.
'I am sorry,' the taller man continued, his voice was almost a whisper.
Fuji forced a smile. 'Don't be. I guess we're just both drunk,' he said, while trying very hard to hide the pain in his voice.
Tezuka's mood suddenly changed and his eyes became brooding. He ran a hand through his hair and drew a deep breath.
'I am not apologizing for the kiss,' the tennis super star said intently. His voice was unintentionally seductive. 'I'm sorry if I surprised you or worse if I frightened you,' Tezuka continued tenderly.
Fuji looked into Tezuka's eyes, abruptly grasping what the taller man meant. Without a word, he understood Tezuka; his thoughts and emotions were visible in those amber eyes. He knew that the dark-brown haired man could see right through him too and it scared Fuji. All of the bitter memories he left behind came rushing back, hunting him once again.
The honey-haired man shook his head back and forth. He gathered all the courage he had to look at the amber-eyed man for one last time. 'You can't fall in love with me, Tezuka,' Fuji whispered slowly but the words came out clearly.
The blue-eyed didn't wait for the other man's reply. He placed both hands in Tezuka's chest and lightly pushed the taller man. He turned around and took a step away, never looking back.
Fuji felt his cheeks warmed up when his thoughts brought him back and he could hear his own heart thumping louder. He still couldn't believe what had happened between him and the tennis super star. It was too sudden and he never thought that Tezuka could be so bold to do such a thing. He wanted to believe that both of them were just drunk that night and the kiss was only influenced by alcohol. It only happened and there was no deeper meaning behind it. But every time his mind reasoned out, his heart could feel the pain of rejection and he didn't like it. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. What made it worst was that despite how he wanted to deny it, Tezuka made him realized how the taller man felt for him and that he was feeling the same way too. Every emotion that the athlete never showed was embedded in his kiss. He just knew Tezuka not long time ago, but in an instant, without a fight, Tezuka had already captured his heart. His heart that was once shattered in pieces.
The blue-eyed man let out a deep sigh and buried his face in his hands. He felt defeated and torn, and afraid, but there was no one to blame but him. He was careless and let his guard down. He didn't think that someone would come his way and make his heart beat again. He was convinced that he had already learned his lessons and should have/had been wiser. He had learned in a painful way that love wasn't always enough. If only he had seen it coming and started running away a long time ago. If only he didn't know how cruel the society could be to people like him. If only he and Tezuka were regular people. If only and if only. Fuji had countless if only, but reality bites and there was nothing he could do but to move on and forget Tezuka. He knew that he needed to stop himself from falling deeper for the amber-eyed man before it was too late. It would only cause him heartbreak, and this time, he was sure that he wouldn't survive it. Not when he was just done picking up the pieces and putting his heart and world back together.
Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to chase what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.
A few miles from Fuji's apartment, Tezuka let out a deep sigh after pressing the end call button of his mobile phone. He removed his glasses and sank back to his seat. He rested his head on to the back rest of his leather sofa and stared at the ceilings. It was a Saturday; no university and as far as he knew, he didn't have anything scheduled for the day. Tezuka planned to spend the whole day in his apartment doing some laundry, cleaning or maybe read some books but he couldn't think straight anymore.
He was on the phone talking to Atobe just a few moments ago to remind him about their photo shoot tomorrow. As Tezuka's acting manager, Atobe was the one who managed the tennis superstar's schedule and the like. After discussing his schedule for next week, their conversation somehow led to the inevitable, Fuji.
'So how are you these days, ahhn Tezuka?' asked Atobe.
'I am fine.' He answered shortly.
Atobe smirked. 'Are you sure? Aren't you missing someone? It has been weeks since you last saw Fuji, so I guess that you are dying to see him,' the diva said in a matter-of-fact tone.
'What do you mean?' the amber-eyed man asked, hiding his surprise.
'Don't play dumb Tezuka. We are both adults and you know what I'm talking about. But if you're still insisting that you don't know, well I guess I'll just spell it out for you. What are you planning to do about your feelings for Fuji Shusuke? Hmmm?'
Tezuka was quiet for a few moments. For once, he did not know how to respond and what to say. Of course he wouldn't tell Atobe that he already made a move a couple of months ago. That was something he wouldn't want anyone, mostly Atobe to know. He would just give Atobe the license to tease him. He was sure that his friend would be surprised and would say that it was not like him. Really, it was not like him, far from the old Tezuka who was always in control of his emotions. But that night was an exception - he wasn't able to keep his control at bay, not when Fuji sounded like he was saying goodbye. Not when it sounded like the smaller man was pushing him away.
You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.
He knew he acted on impulse, he kissed Caerulean's vocalist out of the blue and it wasn't planned but he never regretted doing it. In fact he was happy, for he discovered that Fuji was feeling the same way for him. He did not need words to confirm that - everything was out in the open when he looked at those blue eyes that night. He knew that the lithe man also loved him, no matter how Fuji hid it. He did not stop Fuji when the smaller man walked out on him only because he knew that Fuji needed space and time to think.
When he looked at the vocalist for the last time, he was certain that there was something else in Fuji's eyes, and it was fear. It made him more curious and left wanting to know more about the blue-eyed man. He wanted to learn everything about Fuji, but time did not give him a chance to see, more so talk to the honey-brown haired man. He was busy preparing for the next tournament while Fuji was packed with Caerulean's schedule, not to mention that both of them had universities to attend to. He just contented himself by watching the band's music videos whenever possible or staring at the band's pictures which were published in almost all local magazines nationwide. But those weren't enough; instead, his longing to see the vocalist grew stronger. Sometimes when he thought about it, he swore he could laugh at himself. At the age of 21, he never imagined himself feeling like a teenager - like a young man who felt love for the first time. Butterflies in the stomach, sleepless nights thinking the person you love, wanting to protect that someone - these feelings weren't foreign to him anymore. Fuji brought these emotions that were alien to him but everything felt natural. It was as if they have known each other for a very long time. He was a man of few words and most of the time people who did not know him personally thought that he was arrogant and he didn't mind. But it was different with Fuji. Even with the simplest stare, he knew Fuji understood him, just like how he could tell the other man's thought by just looking at those electric blue eyes.
After some thoughts, instead of answering his friend, he asked back. 'Why are you so concerned about it?'
'I thought you would ask that and I know that it's none of my business,' Atobe started. 'But as time goes by after you met Fuji, you've changed without you knowing it and that intrigued me. Believe me; I did not want to meddle or something. But seeing you while you're with him and the way you look at him, I realized that you must be in love! But you were too slow to notice that. That's why I was not able to hold back,' the young tycoon said with an obvious smirk on his voice.
Atobe let out a soft laugh before continuing. 'Well, maybe I can't blame you - I would also feel confused if for the first time I felt love was with a man. This may sound harsh and all but it is definitely not normal and not everyone accepts it. But who cares? I don't care, and I know that Inui and the others won't give a damn, as long as you are happy. We all want you to be happy, you know that. But let me tell you one thing before you celebrate, this won't be easy, because you are Tezuka Kunimitsu. The famous Tezuka Kunimitsu,' Atobe said, dragging his words. 'I know this for a fact because I know Fuji's past. I am not in the position to tell you what happened in his past, but as a friend I'll give you a hint. Not all people are like us, most are dumb and narrow-minded. Once you decided to pursue Fuji, news will be out in no time. People will know, and when they found out, they'll talk about it. You and Fuji aren't ordinary folks, both of you are famous personalities. Everybody is watching. It'll be huge news and I am very sure that the media will be very eager to turn this in to a circus. Your perfect life will change forever. You are an intelligent man and you can puzzle the pieces out, and that'll give you an idea what happened to Fuji. That is all I can say and the rest should come from him. I may be arrogant, I know that, but I still know how to respect others. So think hard my dear friend. If you decided to go for it, there's no turning back. Please don't tell me that it is my fault that you and Fuji met. I am certain that both of you are fated to meet, somewhere, sometime. I know that for sure and at the end of the day, everything will boil in to one and this is the inevitable. Don't worry, all of us will be at your back and we will support you, no matter what you decided to do. It is your life and you have the right to be happy. I just don't want anyone being hurt.'
Tezuka remained silent even after Atobe stopped talking. He'd known the multi-millionaire for a long time, but this was the first time he learned this side of Atobe. He did not think that the diva would be so concern about him and deep inside, he was thankful to that.
Tezuka sighed heavily. He didn't need Atobe to spell it out for him; he had already figured it out. He did not need to be a rocket scientist to know what the diva meant. Indeed, he was in a predicament and he was very aware of that, he was not born yesterday.
As a law student, some of their case studies were about homosexuality. Many people thought that gayness was a disease and that gay people were discriminated, branded as abnormal. Amidst all that, he was also aware that there were people and groups that were supporting the rights of the homosexuals. But Atobe was right; he knew that if he pursued his feelings towards Fuji and the media learned about it, it would be a total pandemonium. People would talk, not only in Japan but internationally as well. He could imagine the headlines of every tabloid in town, scrutinizing his life and the thought bothered him. Tezuka knew that the press and media would not stop, until they got every bits and pieces. His family might get involved, no, he was sure that they would be involved. Being a public figure, he knew how it worked: the harassment, the heckling, the mental abuse, everything, and he didn't want any of those. He had enough of the media's antics. He was also certain that Fuji's name would be drag down along with his. His friends, Fuji's friends, everyone around them would be involved. Never in his entire existence that he thought would he encounter such situation. He knew it was wrong though he didn't detest homosexuality. He was neither against it nor the relationship between the same genders. He was brought up not to judge other people. He thought that everyone had equal rights and that falling in love was something that couldn't/can't be controlled. And love made its point to him and he never imagined himself being in the same situation.
Reality was harsh and it dawned on him how serious the situation was. But by just thinking Fuji, all his doubts went away. Countless women threw themselves at him but none of them made him feel the way he felt for Fuji. None of them made him realized that he was missing something from his almost perfect life. Fame, money, looks that could rival a movie star, tennis, intelligence and education, a very good family, social status, he had everything he wanted and he was satisfied. He was satisfied as long as he could play tennis to his heart's content. Tennis was his life, it was him. He couldn't ask for more until he met Caerulean's vocalist. That's why he was not afraid; he would not turn back knowing he would regret it someday. He needed to be brave and he would not let anyone, anything to ruin his new found life.
'My, my. A speechless Tezuka is so rare, it is a shame I cannot see you right now,' Atobe teased, a hint of lilt was obvious in his voice. 'I told you that my insight doesn't miss a thing. Just hurry up and invite Fuji already. I think it'll help you to think and decide once you see him again.'
Tezuka adjusted his glasses and answered. 'You don't need to tell me that, I am not a kid. Just don't do anything outrageous anymore and let me do it my way, Keigo. You've done enough,' the bespectacled man stopped short and drew a deep breath. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow and thank you.'
'You are very welcome,' was Atobe's short response before he hung up.
Now what? Tezuka thought silently as he drew another deep breath for the umpteenth time. As the clock ticked, he realized that he really didn't know what to do and that made him want to laugh at himself. For the first time ever since he held his first tennis racket, he was feeling nervous and excited. He was sure that if he called Fuji and asked him out, the said man would just avoid him. The only thing he could do was to go and see the blue-eyed man unannounced, so Fuji wouldn't have time to escape this time. There was only one person to call, who would tell him where he could find the honey-brown haired man: the band's manager, Oishi.
'Fu-ji-ko!' Tezuka heard Kikumaru called out again for the third time while pressing his ear against the door.
The two of them were standing in front of Fuji's apartment's door and were waiting for the vocalist to open up but it seemed like that there was no one home. When he called Oishi earlier, the young manager didn't hesitate to tell him where Fuji was. And when the pianist learned about it, Kikumaru offered to accompany him since the red-head man knew a route where the press and fans won't notice them.
Kikumaru tried ringing the door bell again and when there was still no answer, the bouncy young man looked up at Tezuka and smiled.
'There's no other choice then,' Kikumaru said while rummaging the insides of his bag.
Tezuka saw Kikumaru pulled out a set of keys and opened the apartment's door. The red-head man read the hesitations in the bespectacled man's eyes when he held the door open and invited Tezuka inside.
'Don't worry Tezuka, Fujiko is inside. I called him earlier. Maybe he's just doing something that's why he can't hear us. He gave me a duplicate key to use in cases like this. So come in.'
And when the taller man didn't move an inch, Kikumaru sighed. 'Or do you want me to call Fujiko to get you?' The red-head asked, leaning his head on one side while smiling. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was teasing Tezuka.
The tennis super star was left nothing to do but to grunt his throat and followed the red-head pianist. When he was already inside the apartment, Tezuka noticed the frames hanging on both sides of the corridor. The mini gallery was a mixture of portraits and landscapes and Tezuka was impressed. There were both colors and monochromes. Every pictures and scenes were intense and were captured perfectly. It was as if he was looking at them personally. In an instant he knew who took the pictures, and once again he fell in love.
Kikumaru led him towards the living room and offered him a seat. The room was so spacious - to the left was a U-shaped, dark teal sofa that could seat 8 adults comfortably. Across it was a stainless steel, modern fireplace, with a couple of white egg shaped easy chairs around it. On the right side near the entry way was a wall mounted unit that housed a state-of-the-art entertainment system. The walls where all painted in spotless white, except for the floor to ceiling slide glass window that overlooked the Ueno Park. It was like looking in to a full-blown moving landscape.
When Tezuka was seated, the bouncy young man told him to wait and left, padding towards an entry way. After a few moments, Kikumaru returned and Tezuka saw a glint in his eyes. Tezuka was about to ask where Fuji was when he saw the smaller man placed a finger across his lips.
‘Shhhh,’ Kikumaru hushed as he carefully opened the door across the living area.
Both men were welcomed by the sound of the piano when the red-head man successfully opened the door slightly. Tezuka knew who was playing and it made him realize why Fuji couldn't hear the door bell or Kikumaru. Tezuka saw the said man's face lit up with a gentle smile and comfortably sat beside him. Tezuka leaned forward, set his elbows on top of his legs and laced his fingers together as he joined Kikumaru listen who seemed to be enjoying Fuji's private piano recital.
The sound was rhythmically floating in the air and was surging throughout the entire apartment. Both men were left speechless as they continued to listen, enraptured.
'He is playing with it.' Tezuka heard the man beside him.
'With what?' he asked.
Kikumaru answered without looking at him. 'Our new song. Fujiko's adding instrumental, improvising, like an ad lib before he would start playing the original notes.' And like it was on cue, after a few more notes, Tezuka heard a familiar sound and Fuji's voice joined the music and sang. Once again, Tezuka was drawn into a different world.
'Do you like the song, Tezuka?' Kikumaru asked while shifting his head and looked at the bespectacled man, beaming.
The amber-eyed man did not lie; he knew what song was being played and he liked it the first time he heard it a week earlier. 'Yes,' replied Tezuka. His eyes never averted from the door across them.
The red-head smiled. 'That's great to hear then. Fujiko was the one who wrote the lyrics, arranged and composed the music.' Kikumaru sighed before continuing. 'I am very, very happy. Do you know why?' the pianist asked, not really waiting for an answer. Tezuka looked at Kikumaru and raised an eyebrow, motioning the other man to continue. 'Let me tell you a short story. When we formed the band, Fujiko was the one who wrote and composed most of our songs; he just knew the right words and the right melody. He is a natural, a genius. He actually knows how to play all our instruments very well if I may add. As being the front man of the band, we decided it in an instant on him. We knew that with Fujiko as our leader, we can never go wrong. And he did not disappoint us, he always know what to do and what not. Because of him we are where we wanted to be. It was always like that but everything change a year and half ago.' The cat-eyed man returned his gaze towards the door across them as he continued. 'Something happened to Fujiko which left him devastated. I know he tried very hard not to show it. He didn't want us to worry about him, but that was impossible. Amidst all that, he still did what he needed to do, but he worked almost 24 hours a day, abusing his health, started smoking, wouldn't touch the piano and he can't even write a single verse. We all knew he was hurting but we couldn't do anything. We tried talking to him but that did not work. It was as if he closed his heart to everyone, including us.' Kikumaru wiped his tears before they fell and looked again at Tezuka, now grinning and his eyes were sparkling. 'But when I look at him now, he is returning to his old self, almost. Almost there. I know that in time he'll be able to forget. Thanks to you.'
Tezuka looked at Kikumaru, not fully understanding what the other man said. 'Why?' he asked. The red-head sighed before answering, as if Tezuka asked him the most stupid question. 'Because you love him.’ Kikumaru looked at Tezuka's eyes without batting an eyelash. 'But let me warn you, if you ever hurt him, even a single hair of him, I will find you no matter where you go and kill you.'
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Your comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Come Down to Me by Saving Jane