How can you tell if he's gay? - Chapter 4
Title: How can you tell if he's gay?
Pairing: Ohyass (others in the future?)
Summary: Okura searched for love... or something... in Johnny's and occasionally found Yasu's ass, but that doesn't mean that they found each other.
Rating: PG (for now, NC-17 later on)
Genre: romance (smut)
Warning: still unbetaed
Chapter 4
“Okay, now it’s official, I’M GOING CRAZY!” Screaming didn’t help either. I can’t seriously think that they are that blind that they never see how crazy I get. I even talk to myself. Pacing in my hotel room, talking to myself, thinking of some guys which are as close as family to me and especially thinking of one butt whose owner is definitely at least as good as taken. And unfortunately not by me.
Breathing in, breathing out… Even worse than screaming. “WHAT SHOULD I DO???” And now even that is only purely desperate and achieves only the opposite of what it should do.
I need to find someone to talk to first… As soon as I wanna tell Yasu as clear do I know that I need an opinion first. But who…? Yoko freaked even thinking of the rumor being true that his brother could consider being gay, so no option… That will be hard in the future anyway… Damn, if it works out with Yasu… I really need another opinion!!! And it has to be someone of my group… Only they can know what to do… If that person tells me to forget about it I should never confess. I can’t not consider the group… But at least then somebody knows and I can talk about it and move on…
Hina? Normally exactly the person to talk with when you want a rational answer… But he is just… Maybe… Definitely not gay enough when he isn’t drunk and kissing no matter which gender… He can’t really help me there…
Then… NO, not Maru, I don’t even need to think about that… Subaru? Well, he would understand. He talked about Yasu’s butt in many interviews… But maybe that’s exactly the problem… Wouldn’t it be weird considering how close he is? Can he talk freely when Yasu is closer to Subaru than me most of the time? I sure wouldn’t tell someone to take a chance on one of my best friends. It would feel weird… The other way around of course… But that way… And anyway… Subaru’s way to advice things isn’t helping… In the end he would get me porn with a guy that looks like Yasu and tell me to practice with that… However senseless that would be…
Someone who can give good advises and seems to be someone who knows something about being gay? Does that even exist in Kanjani? Most at them fail already the first point… Who knows about the second one…
But though he doesn’t seem to give good advices or have any experience in being gay… Wouldn’t Ryo be on my side? He sounded like that earlier… He freaked while everyone else discussed my so called trust issue… And he was nice to me the rest of the day while all the others didn’t seem able to face me. He should at least be able to talk to me no matter what happens…
“Screw this mess!!!” One sigh, then annoyed another one. Silence… “I hate those days I think about too much things… It makes me notice too much of this damn silence!” And loneliness…
Yawn…
Tomorrow I’ll tell him… or at least ask when he has time to talk…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this is the shortest chapter ever.... But it felt like it has to be on its own... Though I already started the next one ^^
I don't know what's gotten into me, I'm that creative right now xD
Maybe it's because finally I took another step towards my future... It was all uncertain for so long and I considered for years all those options... And now let's see if I can live with how it worked out ^^
I transfer all these feelings right in this fic... Though it is about something completely different :-)
And I just love writing <3
Thank you for reading this and writing all those nice comments <3
I guess that I update that fast is prove of how much I love them ^^
PS: Why the hell does Ryo appear that much in this fic? Somehow the characters act on its own as soon as I start writing them... I have no idea what this guy wants xD
I think he is the angry part of my multiple personalities telling me to shut the hell up and write the smut ;-)
Pairing: Ohyass (others in the future?)
Summary: Okura searched for love... or something... in Johnny's and occasionally found Yasu's ass, but that doesn't mean that they found each other.
Rating: PG (for now, NC-17 later on)
Genre: romance (smut)
Warning: still unbetaed
Chapter 4
“Okay, now it’s official, I’M GOING CRAZY!” Screaming didn’t help either. I can’t seriously think that they are that blind that they never see how crazy I get. I even talk to myself. Pacing in my hotel room, talking to myself, thinking of some guys which are as close as family to me and especially thinking of one butt whose owner is definitely at least as good as taken. And unfortunately not by me.
Breathing in, breathing out… Even worse than screaming. “WHAT SHOULD I DO???” And now even that is only purely desperate and achieves only the opposite of what it should do.
I need to find someone to talk to first… As soon as I wanna tell Yasu as clear do I know that I need an opinion first. But who…? Yoko freaked even thinking of the rumor being true that his brother could consider being gay, so no option… That will be hard in the future anyway… Damn, if it works out with Yasu… I really need another opinion!!! And it has to be someone of my group… Only they can know what to do… If that person tells me to forget about it I should never confess. I can’t not consider the group… But at least then somebody knows and I can talk about it and move on…
Hina? Normally exactly the person to talk with when you want a rational answer… But he is just… Maybe… Definitely not gay enough when he isn’t drunk and kissing no matter which gender… He can’t really help me there…
Then… NO, not Maru, I don’t even need to think about that… Subaru? Well, he would understand. He talked about Yasu’s butt in many interviews… But maybe that’s exactly the problem… Wouldn’t it be weird considering how close he is? Can he talk freely when Yasu is closer to Subaru than me most of the time? I sure wouldn’t tell someone to take a chance on one of my best friends. It would feel weird… The other way around of course… But that way… And anyway… Subaru’s way to advice things isn’t helping… In the end he would get me porn with a guy that looks like Yasu and tell me to practice with that… However senseless that would be…
Someone who can give good advises and seems to be someone who knows something about being gay? Does that even exist in Kanjani? Most at them fail already the first point… Who knows about the second one…
But though he doesn’t seem to give good advices or have any experience in being gay… Wouldn’t Ryo be on my side? He sounded like that earlier… He freaked while everyone else discussed my so called trust issue… And he was nice to me the rest of the day while all the others didn’t seem able to face me. He should at least be able to talk to me no matter what happens…
“Screw this mess!!!” One sigh, then annoyed another one. Silence… “I hate those days I think about too much things… It makes me notice too much of this damn silence!” And loneliness…
Yawn…
Tomorrow I’ll tell him… or at least ask when he has time to talk…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this is the shortest chapter ever.... But it felt like it has to be on its own... Though I already started the next one ^^
I don't know what's gotten into me, I'm that creative right now xD
Maybe it's because finally I took another step towards my future... It was all uncertain for so long and I considered for years all those options... And now let's see if I can live with how it worked out ^^
I transfer all these feelings right in this fic... Though it is about something completely different :-)
And I just love writing <3
Thank you for reading this and writing all those nice comments <3
I guess that I update that fast is prove of how much I love them ^^
PS: Why the hell does Ryo appear that much in this fic? Somehow the characters act on its own as soon as I start writing them... I have no idea what this guy wants xD
I think he is the angry part of my multiple personalities telling me to shut the hell up and write the smut ;-)