(no subject)
Saturnine die Saturday. David told me when he picked me up from work. I have come to a breaking point were I can’t continue to study for my history exam if I don’t write something about her. She is all I seem to be able to think about right now. If this happened a year ago it would not have affected that much because back then she was that girl at school with an amazing voice. However, this year we shared philosophy together but most importantly band. So she didn't show up very often but when she did I could turn to her for some small talk before Mr. T got his act together. One class Mr. T put us in sectionals, so Sat and I went to a practice room and talked the entire class. Our main topics were our philosophy essays, drinking, clarinet and her epilepsy due to Lupus disease. That day she was in a mood because of the news her doctors just gave her. One of the doctors was trying to explain to her that she should highly consider chemo therapy but they worded it as if it could save her life. She was shocked at what the doctors were saying because she never was talked to as if her life was in danger and needed saving with treatments. Also they were upset that she didn’t tell them earlier that her face was twitching but she thought it was normal. One band practice Sat smelled gasoline and started to feel unwell, which are her clues that she is going to have a seizure. So I went with her to her locker to pack up her stuff and call her parents. I was freaking out because I had no idea if she was going to start seizing in the hall and we would be alone and I would have no idea what to do. However Sat was calm and joking how she was able to get me and her out of band practice. Even though it occurred to me that she could have started having a seizure right then and there it never crossed my mind that she could die. Sat had a good out look on life; she had plans for after high school and kept a smile on despite the uncertainty of ‘the disease with many faces’. Her talents did not go unwasted. I think there is a collective felling at school that we all love to hear her voice in choir solos. My last memories of Sat is me begging her in the caf to come to the band party this Tuesday to keep me company as my only other friends there would be Vincent and Pat. She said she would come if she was not tutoring. Her life ended so short. I think I’m still in a state of shock. Rest in peace Sat, you’re an awesome and brave girl. I shall never forget (until maybe the day I have forgotten that I have forgot) all our band days together.