Brainstorming

[kasuchans_v2]

So I've had this idea for a really long Ryden, spanning from the band's formation to two years post-split. And I've had this one line running in my mind for a while now, and I wanted to get some thoughts. On just one line. Yes, I'm insane.

So:
It's not until after the door shuts behind her that he lets himself fold into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself tightly as if they can keep his heart from finally breaking.

Is it too poetic? Or does it sound just right?