~BSG: sui caedere

[kastari]

Title:  sui caedere
Author:  kastari
Summary:  Everyone wears a mask.
Characters:  Adama/Roslin
Time Frame:  “Sometimes a Great Notion”
Rating:  T
Word Count:  100 
Author’s Note:  Written for the 20th ar_drabbles challenge.  Fill in the blanks & write a ‘missing scene.’  Thanks to frakcancer for the idea.
Disclaimer:  I’m just playing in Universal’s sandbox.

Comments

[bsg_aussiegirl]

As per usual your ignorant friend had to google your title. And there were all these shiny happy definitions. Depress me straight away about the drabble before I even read, why don't you?

But, in the end, even though it was sad, the last line gave me hope.

[twilight_sad]

same here with the title ignorance :(

not quite sure i can read this a second time (as i tend to do before commenting), which is a compliment, since it shows that what you evoke here with this scene is deeply powerful, utterly desperate, but with the consolation that - although they start out seperately at the beginning of the drabble - they will face the desperation together, which for them is the only way to make it through. so: light at the tunnel's end? not sure. but candle in the dark? definitely.

[kastari]

Never title ignorance. How about title enlightenment?

I think Bill & Laura were polar opposites at the beginning of the powerful episode. And at the beginning of this drabble. I knew they needed to come together. I think they did emotionally, but we just never got to see it on the screen. Thank you for your heartfelt compliment. Knowing that my drabble affected you so deeply means I did what I had set out to do. Always that flicker of light...

[kastari]

No ignorant friends in my circle. There is nothing wrong with Googling titles. Think of it as learning through drabbles. Titles 101. Sorta like frakcancer's School of Speed Writing.

Yes, this subject matter was dark & very heavy. I contemplated not going to this place, but I'm glad that I did. I felt our beloved characters deserved greater study on this subject matter as we never got to see it on the screen. And the incident was such a shock.

I think when feeling sad hope is the one thread everyone clings to.

[sln1]

This episode came as a great blow. I had rather taken it for granted that, devastated as they would both inevitably be, stricken with grief and guilt, Bill and Laura would at least be able to take some strength and solace from each other. It was truly heartbreaking to see that when they most needed to they couldn't connect, that she sent him away and he let her.

Here you have captured a tone closer to what I was expecting. Their mutual despair is suffocating but they are reaching out to one another, those joined hands a flickering candle of hope in the darkness.

Beautiful, powerful work. Very impressive. Thank you.

[kastari]

It's always difficult for me to explore the dark places of our beloved characters. Not many authors visit the realm. This drabble was an enormous challenge for me. I almost didn't write it, figuring who would want to read it & get depressed. But I'm glad I did. I feel Dee's act affected Bill deeply as Billy's death affected Laura. We just didn't really get to see much of the emotional aftermath for either of them. I believe they were there for each other. Always.

[bugsfic]

I'm so glad you had them share grief. They didn't do it when Billy died, or they thought Kara had died. To me, that's what fanfic is about, giving the characters the emotional moments that get lost in the shuffle.

[kastari]

Grief is a scary exploration. Messy, unpredictable & different for everyone. Some handle it better than others. Some never handle it at all. I think a lot of pretending can sometimes be involved. There's no clear cut path for anyone when it comes to grief. It can be powerful & overwhelming. It can also be buried deep within the self. And you are correct--so many of the emotional moments our characters surely experienced we never got to see. I think sometimes we need to see the suffocating anguish & despair to appreciate the heartfelt love & joy more fully. With the light comes the dark. And vice versa.

[vash26]

Earth was such a disillusion, at least you gave them each other.

[kastari]

And in the end, that is what made their relationship & their love so epic. Tragic, but epic. I believe they always had each other.

[redrockcan]

This ep was very dark and so devastating, so is this drabble but you gave us that sense of hope at the end. We did get that, but had to wait for the next ep to see it. I like it too that you let them comfort eachother and I can see Laura coming in to see him when she learns about Dee. Just like I think she came to see him when Kara died. It is very natural to have happened, even if we never saw it on screen. Wonderful work! Simple and so beautiful!

[kastari]

Grief is very scary. What I've discovered is that when we experience it, very often we don't share it. And sometimes sharing it is what gets us through those very dark, devastating days. And nights.

I, too, believe Laura went to Bill when Kara 'died,' We just didn't get to see the moment.