SPN, S&H, fandom, readiing, zines, writing, rec, MS (it's an update is what it is)
It's just easier not to post, and people get busy, but I figure since I still check in on the flist daily I should maybe contribute some words as well.
My flist has certainly gotten quieter. I remember when I could not keep up! Primarily that was the SPN fandom - my S&H friends were never that loud on LJ. S&H for me was a yahoo groups thing, though the starsky_hutch LJ comm helped me migrate here.
I also remember the frustration of trying to download ALL THOSE SPN stories, and clicking what occasionally amounted to a ridiculous number of entries and continued entries to get at a whole verse. Do you know I used to copy/paste stories in MS word and save them as docs? I bet more than a few of us did. I mean, I have tons of stories still on my computer in doc format. So much work! I tried to keep up, which was impossible really.
Before LJ, I was immersed in S&H stories, and by God I PRINTED those out. Still have a bookshelf full of the printouts, and then another shelf of the printed zines (including my own two) in my bedroom.
That last zine I really busted ass on--I remember staying up until 1 - 3 am for a month, trying to get it finished in time for Sharecon. I hate to say this, but I kind of screwed myself over - after that is when I started noticeably feeling ill/exhausted. Of course getting less sleep didn't cause the MS, but I remember that's when I decided that yeah, I could actually live on three - five hours of sleep, which was a shitty idea. I ran myself down so badly, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't been so hard-headed about doing that to myself. Because now I couldn't do that for any reason. I remember thinking in 2009 that I was getting to the point where I only managed to produce sustained projects during summer (I have the usual heat intolerance of MS patients in summer, but not the escalating symptoms.)
Hell, I over-extended myself yesterday on a project related to writing, stayed up until 2 to finish something, and THEN gave myself my med shot and spent the next three hours with palpitations. What the hell is the point of getting too tired to get out of bed to take meds to get rid of palpitations so I can sleep? It was kind of terrible. *Lectures self not to do this again.* (And with some difficulty I will restrain myself and not call myself names having to do with dumb ass and the like. Oops. Guess I did.)
I had built myself the possibility of a career in genre ebook land some years back, but then I failed to produce a promised sequel to Beneath the Neon Moon. Cue a subsequent apology followed by radio silence, and I probably killed any chances of keeping an audience. (Better than promising anything again until I've goT a completed work.) The thing is, I'm going to keep working at it. And I know some of you put out some serious word counts in a week, and maybe some of you release works every month, which is amazing. But I don't think I'd have ever managed that, not even when I felt better. So anyway, the sequel is at 102,000 words, longest thing I've ever written, there's that:) Someday I'll throw it out into the wild, and maybe it will sink like a stone, but I will have FINISHED IT, and when I do it will be a wonderful thing to have accomplished. And I love those guys - they started out in my head as an amalgam of Dean and/or Jensen and Sam and/or Jared, and there are still similarities - but Mal and Zach have their own identities now.
And then, when I'm done with that sequel, I'll do my best to write another story, and another. And though I'd like to be read, sure, I really would love that; just not at the expense of writing exactly what I want. Dark, sometimes nutso stuff. The writing itself means something to me (and my beloved tipitiwitchet, who literally has kept me going when I thought the writing was gone), and that's a thing harder to come by, so I'm grateful for it.
Segue back to S&H fandom: you gave me the aforesaid tipitiwitchet, and though I often find the fandom itself a little too straight-laced, that will never be forgotten. Plus I'll always love the show - I plan to watch it on loop when my kids grow up enough to give me some peace and quiet times.
Unrelated, but: SPN's Jeremy Carver is such a disappointing shower runner for me. I was afraid of him after I couldn't for the life of me keep interest in the last show he ran (Being Human), though I loved the original British version (first three seasons, anyway). Sucks because of gems like SPN Christmas ep and the like. He still can write some killer episodes on occasion (I loved S8 ender ep). So anyway, when I get an episode I really enjoy as opposed to it being merely watchable, it makes me happy. I enjoyed, so much, the Sam POV we got last episodes in "Book of the Damned" and "The Werther Project." I like how Sam and Dean have been really together and in the lovely, unhealthily codependent relationship I know and love.
Oh, story rec: The Outlaw Torn by LaughableLament. Old school first-time with plenty of UST until it's, well, resolved:) Expertly written in my opinion, classic in all the best ways of good Wincest fiction. Killer Dean voice, Sammy the irrestible tease and always, always, the clever, irritating little brother.
Another thing: I looked forward with great anticipation to the premiere of Orphan Black, a thing that was handily trashed when my phobia regarding eyes/eye damage sent me into a panicked fit. Made me pretty sick and upset that day. I try to avoid seeing that stuff, but that shit don't come with warnings.
C saved me from the one before this one, because she's good to me - the Gotham episode eyeball incident with Fish. And then there was the stuff with Amercan Horror Story: Coven, which had enough eyeball stuff that year to ruin the show during S3 for me.
I save myself as much as I can re: the phobia. Sometimes when they do a closeup I just turn away in case. Thought about (and have done, to a degree, in my thoughts) some aversion therapy but I haven't decided if it'll kill me or cure me - my reaction is fairly drastic. I sure don't want to be more messed up than I am!
Whew, plenty of rambling! I guess I posted then, yeah?
My flist has certainly gotten quieter. I remember when I could not keep up! Primarily that was the SPN fandom - my S&H friends were never that loud on LJ. S&H for me was a yahoo groups thing, though the starsky_hutch LJ comm helped me migrate here.
I also remember the frustration of trying to download ALL THOSE SPN stories, and clicking what occasionally amounted to a ridiculous number of entries and continued entries to get at a whole verse. Do you know I used to copy/paste stories in MS word and save them as docs? I bet more than a few of us did. I mean, I have tons of stories still on my computer in doc format. So much work! I tried to keep up, which was impossible really.
Before LJ, I was immersed in S&H stories, and by God I PRINTED those out. Still have a bookshelf full of the printouts, and then another shelf of the printed zines (including my own two) in my bedroom.
That last zine I really busted ass on--I remember staying up until 1 - 3 am for a month, trying to get it finished in time for Sharecon. I hate to say this, but I kind of screwed myself over - after that is when I started noticeably feeling ill/exhausted. Of course getting less sleep didn't cause the MS, but I remember that's when I decided that yeah, I could actually live on three - five hours of sleep, which was a shitty idea. I ran myself down so badly, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't been so hard-headed about doing that to myself. Because now I couldn't do that for any reason. I remember thinking in 2009 that I was getting to the point where I only managed to produce sustained projects during summer (I have the usual heat intolerance of MS patients in summer, but not the escalating symptoms.)
Hell, I over-extended myself yesterday on a project related to writing, stayed up until 2 to finish something, and THEN gave myself my med shot and spent the next three hours with palpitations. What the hell is the point of getting too tired to get out of bed to take meds to get rid of palpitations so I can sleep? It was kind of terrible. *Lectures self not to do this again.* (And with some difficulty I will restrain myself and not call myself names having to do with dumb ass and the like. Oops. Guess I did.)
I had built myself the possibility of a career in genre ebook land some years back, but then I failed to produce a promised sequel to Beneath the Neon Moon. Cue a subsequent apology followed by radio silence, and I probably killed any chances of keeping an audience. (Better than promising anything again until I've goT a completed work.) The thing is, I'm going to keep working at it. And I know some of you put out some serious word counts in a week, and maybe some of you release works every month, which is amazing. But I don't think I'd have ever managed that, not even when I felt better. So anyway, the sequel is at 102,000 words, longest thing I've ever written, there's that:) Someday I'll throw it out into the wild, and maybe it will sink like a stone, but I will have FINISHED IT, and when I do it will be a wonderful thing to have accomplished. And I love those guys - they started out in my head as an amalgam of Dean and/or Jensen and Sam and/or Jared, and there are still similarities - but Mal and Zach have their own identities now.
And then, when I'm done with that sequel, I'll do my best to write another story, and another. And though I'd like to be read, sure, I really would love that; just not at the expense of writing exactly what I want. Dark, sometimes nutso stuff. The writing itself means something to me (and my beloved tipitiwitchet, who literally has kept me going when I thought the writing was gone), and that's a thing harder to come by, so I'm grateful for it.
Segue back to S&H fandom: you gave me the aforesaid tipitiwitchet, and though I often find the fandom itself a little too straight-laced, that will never be forgotten. Plus I'll always love the show - I plan to watch it on loop when my kids grow up enough to give me some peace and quiet times.
Unrelated, but: SPN's Jeremy Carver is such a disappointing shower runner for me. I was afraid of him after I couldn't for the life of me keep interest in the last show he ran (Being Human), though I loved the original British version (first three seasons, anyway). Sucks because of gems like SPN Christmas ep and the like. He still can write some killer episodes on occasion (I loved S8 ender ep). So anyway, when I get an episode I really enjoy as opposed to it being merely watchable, it makes me happy. I enjoyed, so much, the Sam POV we got last episodes in "Book of the Damned" and "The Werther Project." I like how Sam and Dean have been really together and in the lovely, unhealthily codependent relationship I know and love.
Oh, story rec: The Outlaw Torn by LaughableLament. Old school first-time with plenty of UST until it's, well, resolved:) Expertly written in my opinion, classic in all the best ways of good Wincest fiction. Killer Dean voice, Sammy the irrestible tease and always, always, the clever, irritating little brother.
Another thing: I looked forward with great anticipation to the premiere of Orphan Black, a thing that was handily trashed when my phobia regarding eyes/eye damage sent me into a panicked fit. Made me pretty sick and upset that day. I try to avoid seeing that stuff, but that shit don't come with warnings.
C saved me from the one before this one, because she's good to me - the Gotham episode eyeball incident with Fish. And then there was the stuff with Amercan Horror Story: Coven, which had enough eyeball stuff that year to ruin the show during S3 for me.
I save myself as much as I can re: the phobia. Sometimes when they do a closeup I just turn away in case. Thought about (and have done, to a degree, in my thoughts) some aversion therapy but I haven't decided if it'll kill me or cure me - my reaction is fairly drastic. I sure don't want to be more messed up than I am!
Whew, plenty of rambling! I guess I posted then, yeah?