Cm fic: Shades of Jealousy Chapter 3
Chapter three - escape
You’re at your fifth beer and starting to feel the effects of too much alcohol on an empty stomach when everybody moves to get to the dancefloor. You’d much rather stay seated than having to watch her getting even closer to him while dancing. As soon as you make it to the dancefloor, he takes her hand and pulls her closer to him and your stomach starts to twist and clench unpleasantly.
But then she surprises you by twisting out of his grip and taking your hand in one of her’s and Penelope’s in the other. You pull away as if scalded and she gives you a questioning, slightly hurt look.
For the life of you, you have no idea what to say if she asks why you did this.
You can feel her eyes boring into you and you know that you have to get away somehow before she can pose the question.
Suddenly there are two hands on your hips and you whip around to get right in whoever-was-bold-enough-to-try-that-move-on-you’s face. Your words get stuck in your throat as you realise who it is. The one person you never thought you’d ever be glad to see. But as it is, any kind of distraction’s welcome and so you turn to your teammates again and introduce the stranger who still hasn’t taken his hands off your hips.
‘’Everyone, this is my mother’s former secretary. He started working for her when I was 20 and he was about 28.’’
You conveniently leave out the part about how he tried to seduce you every time you met and the scare you got when one night, he decided to wait for you in your bedroom. You kicked him out straight away and tried to tell him that you were into women, because you’ve been sure of that ever since you fell in love with your best friend at the age of 15.
You seem to be destined to fall in love with your best friends, you think bitterly, as your eyes meet hers in the dark of the dancefloor, only broken from time to time by brief flashes of colourful light. He finally takes his hands off your hips to shake everybody’s hands and you can’t help but notice the look she gives you. For the most minute moment you think you see something in her gaze. Something akin to jealousy, to irritation.
But then you decide you’re just projecting, because she has moved back into his arms and doesn’t make a move to get out of the tight embrace he holds her in. And it’s the way her body moulds into his, the perfect fit. It’s the way she now holds his hands, tightly, lovingly, as if she never wants to let go, as if this is where she belongs. It’s completely undoing you.
So when he asks if he can get you a drink, you just say yes and follow him as he drags you through the crowd towards the bar. You don’t care what everybody’s going to think of you in the morning, he’s your chance at escape.
And that’s why you accept the offered drink, even though it is some way too sweet cocktail you normally wouldn’t drink even if your life depended on it. You also accept the second drink and the third and by then you already can’t see straight any more.
So when he tries to pull you to the dancefloor once again you nearly stumble, but he catches you just in time.
‘’Easy there’’, he says and pulls you tighter into himself. For a second you try to resist him but then you remember JJ in his arms, the way she seems so happy now. So content. With him. Without you. And you decide that it doesn’t really matter. That he’s not exactly your type. That he’s not even on the team you play for. That you’ll regret this in the morning.
You just let him pull you closer until his lips are touching yours. Immediately you feel dirty and you move to pull away. Because no matter how much all that crap hurts, this is not going to help. He starts to protest as you move his hands away from your body but everything he says is drowned out by the rush of your blood in your ears as soon as you notice her standing just across the room, staring at you.
She looks shocked, frozen in place. You’re sure there’s a brief flash of hurt across her face before the expression turns to the least thing you would have expected: anger.
You can’t look away from her and in this moment you feel something shift. And with an anxious fluttering of your heart you simply know that maybe you just lost whatever was left of your friendship. You just know and the thought is enough to sober you up immediately.
You leave what’s-his-name at the bar and almost run out of the club. Tomorrow, you’re gonna make up some story for Garcia and the boys, you’ve always been good at story-telling, but for now you just have to escape.
Once again you find yourself face to face with a brick wall, only this time you have your hands put against it and your head falling forward in a defeated gesture. So much for just getting this evening over and done with without drawing attention to yourself.
What a mess you are.
And what a mess you make of everything coming your way.
You’re fighting the first tears as you hear the steady sound of heels clicking on the pavement. Somehow you just know it’s her.