(Untitled)

[kassafrass]

I want to cuddle.

I miss that a lot.

I guess I've just been really lonely lately. And it's only going to get worse.

I'm not looking forward to next month.

Or any month in the next year for that matter.

Comments

Unsolicited Advice

[anonymous]

A few years ago, someone sent around this e-mail forward about the benefits of having a stuffed animal/plushie instead of a significant other. It pointed out that significant others drool/snore/steal the covers/complain when you accidentally knock them out of bed/etc. Meanwhile, a plushie doesn't care if you drool/snore/steal the covers/accidentally knock them out of bed/etc.... and a plushie is always there to cuddle with you if you need someone to hold. There's some wisdom in that forward. I wish I had saved it. If I had, I would post it here for you.

Let me tell you something, Ms. Kassafrass... As a guy, I am ashamed of the male gender. There's a very minute number of well-adjusted, strong yet caring, moral guys... but as most females realize early on, nearly all of these ones are taken. In contrast, there's a big honkin' lot of oversexed, egotistic, womanizing guys who are only nice to women so they can "get their groove on", to put it in PG-rated terminology. If a woman were to ask one of those men, "Do you respect me for who I am?", most of those guys would respond, "Of course I do, baby." In guy-speak, that translates to, "I like you, because you are hot." It, unfortunately, does not translate to, "I appreciate your sensitive, caring, nurturing side... You are thoughtful and genuinely care for me."

The bad news is, in our society (I should probably say "American Society"), the latter type of male overruns the land. Also bad is that the few good ones are almost always taken. The good news is, there is a secret, hidden group of guys that is often overlooked. The main problem is, these guys aren't easy to spot on the surface. There's several reasons for that. First, being that a lot of these guys aren't a walking mass of testosterone and ego, they don't tend to keep a very high profile. Second, a lot of the guys in the hidden group don't tend to hang in the traditional spots that are dominated by the "bad boys". They stick to less touted places in our current culture, such as libraries, or nature trails, or museums, or houses of worship. Third, and this is critical, a lot of the guys in the hidden group are extremely difficult to spot because on the surface, they might not seem to have the most charming personalities.

Why would any self-respecting woman want a guy without a charming personality? Well, charm only goes so deep... and besides, would you rather have 10 minutes of charm from a guy who just wants to get your defenses down, or would you rather have a lifetime of sincere appreciation? The seemingly-not-charming guys are coming from a difficult place, after all. They have worked hard to be good... to try to avoid the prevailing male stigma and become someone desireable and suitable to a woman's needs (not just her sexual ones!). Meanwhile, many of these guys watch helplessly as "Slick-Smitty The Charmer" comes by and dazzles women with his charming, yet shallow personality. It's not hard to see how the good guys can become a bit bitter or cynical... And unfortunately that bitterness and cynicism is often what shows through... not the good qualities the guy truly possesses.

The group of males to which I'm refering might be classified as beta males. They aren't going to jump out at you immediately, but at the same time they aren't going to be characterized by their dominant, control-freakish, testosterone-driven nature. Instead, once you get to know one of them, you'll see such rare qualities as compassion, sensitivity, and wisdom. I say that it's worth a few months or years of loneliness to find such a guy. It might be tough in the short term (and there's always a stuffed animal for you in the mean time ;), but how much more rewarding in the long term?

I wish you the best.

~Anonymous Beta Male