The Spectrum Chronicles 1.7
Welcome back to the Spectrum Chronicles!
Warning: Partial nudity (censored) in this entry.
This is also quite a long one, so grab a drink and a snack!
We begin part 1.7 with Pepper and Danny on a date.
Pool is serious business, guys. Guys, it's serious business.
Danny: Sooo, didja watch Top Model last night? That Becky, what a bitch, amiright?!
Pepper: Shut it Danny. I am trying to concentrate.
Pepper: Anyway, I can't believe you watch that garbage. That's what it is. Trash. With a heavy layer of garbage.
And isn't it a show for women? And gay men? I mean, I don't judge but...I judge.
Danny: Pfft.
Danny: Whatever, you're just jealous of the hot wannabe models.
Pepper: I am not! What the hell Danny, you're my boyfriend,
you're not supposed to talk to me like this!
Pepper: Besides, check me out. I can duck face with the best of 'em.
Pepper then proceeded to kick Danny's top model loving ass at pool.
girl power.
-.-
Pepper: You ready to get your ass kicked at skee ball?
Danny: You are so sassy, I like it :)
Okay you two, you are teenagers, let's keep it PG-13 here.
For some reason, Danny refused to join Pepper in a game of skee ball. As you can see,
Pepper was not pleased.
She then invited him to the diner for some eats, but he refused her again and
berated her for being a horrible date.
What an ass.
Back at home base, GnomeDog (or was it DogGnome?) shows off his beard to an
uninterested Lemon.
Lemon and Pom get along, most of the time.
The cuteness, let it CONSUME YOU.
Haley: YOU ARE FAILING SCHOOL. WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO BE MISERABLE???
WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!
Pepper: Jesus Mom, I'm most likely going to be the heir and will spend the majority of my
adult life bearing children, it's not like school matters.
Haley: NO HEIR OF THIS LEGACY WILL FAIL OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
GO STAND BY THE BUSHES AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO THIS FAMILY.
Oh Pepper, I'm so sorry. It will get better, it always does!
Haley: I JUST HAD TO YELL AT YOUR SISTER FOR FAILING SCHOOL AND NOW YOU ARE MAKING ME YELL AT YOU?!
DO YOU WANT ME TO BE UPSET? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Ruby: What the hell Mom, I didn't do anything wrong.
Haley: *eye twitch* I uh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little...stressed.
Saffron steps in to defuse the situation.
Saffron: Listen Ruby, your mom spends every day in the back yard painting. It's a very stressful life,
you'll have to cut her some slack.
Saffron: It'll be okay sweetie. Why don't you go watch a movie or something, take your mind
off how difficult your life is?
(If you didn't sense the sarcasm, I'm just going to let you know now...there was sarcasm.)
Lemon! You're farting sparkles!
Lemon: Woof?
Awwwhhh, look at elder Lemon! LOOK AT HIM!!!! He has grey eyebrows :D
Scarlet is steadily gaining skill in sculpting. Always good for making extra funds for the family.
Pepper got a makeover. I wasn't really digging her previous look, so here is the new and improved version!
/spam
Danny isn't really doing it for Pepper anymore. And honestly, if she is going to be heir we will
need a really good looking dude to father the next generation. So, Pepper phones Alen
to make friends and, hopefully, eventually form a romantic bond.
The girls had a school field trip to the town masoleum. Scarlet returned with this mysterious
lamp. Hmmmm, what could it possibly be?! I have NO IDEA!!!???!!!!
Holy MOSES WHAT THE HELL THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED.
Um, Hi Ms. Genie, could you spend less time watching tv and more time granting wishes? Thanks.
Scarlet wished for the only useful thing on the list, fortune.
And then Ms. Genie went all laser eyes, cloud of smoke on her.
I wish that happened to me everytime I got a paycheque.
The wish added 100k simoleons to the family's funds. I saved the other two wishes for later.
Erm, Lemon? Could you NOT pee on Pom?
Elder dogs are so sad. I can only imagine the pain Lemon must feel dragging his arthritis ridden
body to the food bowl. :/
I spent a large chunk of the fortune adding on to the legacy house.
Saffron desperately wanted a hot tub, so a hot tub he received.
I expanded and renovated the kitchen, and moved the living room to the addition at the back.
In retrospect, I should have made the back addition the orange bedroom...but oh well.
Haley is the first to test out the hot tub. Completely naked.
Saffron? Not interested? Okay.
Saffron: Dammit, I should have seen that move ages ago!
Haley: :( I just want affection.
I felt pretty bad for Haley, despite her being a raging bitch most of the time, so I forced
Saffron to relax with her in the hot tub.
Haley: Will you take off that stupid hat, for the love of god?
Saffron: Nope.
He's sexy and he knows it.
Saffron moved next to Haley, for some potential cuddle times.
Saffron: Check out these calves. Mmmm yeah.
Haley: We have been married for 16 years, I don't give a damn about your calf muscles.
Haley: This is ridiculous, the kids will be home soon, I need a bathing suit.
Saffron: Boobs. O.O
Haley: Ahhh much better.
Saffron: Your arms look like spaghetti noodles.
Haley: What the hell? That's not nice. You know I have a really fast metabolism.
Saffron: I just call 'em like I see 'em.
Haley: ...
Saffron: ...
Saffron: Want some snuggles?
Haley: Suuuuure! That'd be nice, sweetie.
Well, their relationship works for them...somehow.
Meanwhile, Lemon attempts to drown himself in the pond.
He discovers not breathing sucks, and changes his mind.
I replaced the treadmill in the living room with a karaoke machine. Much more entertaining.
Get ready for some spam!
/spam
Finally, Ruby gets some face time!
Haley's painting skills aren't exactly consistent. This one was sold immediately!
What's this? Unhappy visitors? Buffet table? Looks like a birthday party!
First things first, Pepper must find out the age of sexy Alen. Turns out, he is 7 days older than her.
Hmm, while not ideal, I think we can deal with that.
Saffron has reached retirement age!
He looks as though he just surprised himself with his own wish.
Saffron: Alright candles, you ready for this? I am going to blow you the fuck out.
And blow them out he did. And then, there were sparkles.
And it was good.
Saffron: Oh dagnabbit, my back hurts.
Saffron: I can't feel my hand!
Saffron?! Are you having a stroke already?!
Aaaaand, time for everyone to get in everyones' way as they all try to get a slice of cake.
Pepper enjoys her cake with her back to her mother. I can't say I blame her.
Scarlet goes around the side of the house and eats her cake alone in the front yard.
Can't say I blame her either.
Saffron is such a hip elder.
After the makeover, it was time to call work and retire.
Saffron: I'm done working! I am going to spend the rest of my days getting all pruny in the hot tub. :D
Random confetti...
And then he stood there for way too long doing this awkward clap.
...clap clap
...clap clap.
STAHP.
I really feel for Lemon. He tries so hard, but just comes up short. In this case,
by bringing Saffron the unwanted moldy, three day old newspaper.
Pom: Hoooowwwwwllllll
What? What's happening now!?
Oh yeah, time to see how adorable you are sure to turn out PommyWommy.
What in the dark lord's sweet holy name is that thing?!?!!?
Sigh. I guess Lemon had my expectations too high.
Lemon: Listen, bro, you have big paws to fill when I'm gone.
Pom: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP.
Saffron tries a bit of a bonding session with Pom. I guess he can kinda be cute....somehow.
The afro really puts me off though...
Ruby, however, thinks he is the cutest thing EVAR. But she is insane. So there ya go.
Speaking of Ruby, it's time for her to grow the hell up and get the hell out!
Saffron: Wow, uh, you look....nice....:]
She looks like a blonde version of Haley, I'd hope you think she looks nice!
Post makeover.
And time to pack her bags and call a cab.
I must say, Ruby was the first born of this legacy, but did not receive the love and
attention a first born typically receives. And for that, I am sorry.
Haha no I'm not. She was boring. :/
Adios amiga! I am sure we will meet again!
...
End! Thanks for reading!