REFUGE (EPILOGUE 2/3)

[kaspermania]

“Luhan-“

“Sehun-“

Both stared at each other when they said the other’s name at the same time.

“You first,” Sehun offered, but Luhan shook his head. “You first, Sehunnie.”

“No, you first.” the elder said, to which Luhan replied, “can you do it first? I honestly do not know how to start what I am about to say.”

“What is it about, baby?” asked Sehun. “Why do I feel as if this is not a light matter to talk about?”

He watched Luhan play with his fingers, nervously looking down at his shifting feet. He wore a troubled expression on, his eyebrows knitted together, his forehead creased and his bottom lip jutted out a bit. Cute, Sehun thought while silently chuckling to himself.

“I-It’s about the kids,” Luhan started after several seconds of silence. “About their future. About our future.” Sehun raised a brow at the vague words, and he tapped his fingers on the hardwood table, prompting Luhan to continue.

“They are growing so fast, aren’t they?” Sehun nodded at the statement. “Yongbin is starting to speak more clearly. Minki is… Minki. We can see how matured he is for his age. Minghao is starting to be more curious of the world. It is as if time is weaving fast and before we know it, they already grew up.”

“What are you trying to say?” Sehun blinked, locking his gaze on his fidgeting mate who was now standing on front of him.

“Sehun, I was thinking…” Luhan lowered his head a bit, his bangs covering his vision. “We… W-We should perhaps go back in the woods.”

A frown broke into Sehun’s face as he stared at his lover whose eyes were shut while saying those words. Was Luhan afraid to get scolded and reprimanded by his mate?

“I was about to say the same thing.” Luhan’s lids fluttered open at the unexpected remark. He stared with his big doe eyes at his lover who had his arms spread, beckoning him to come closer.

“What are you scared about?” Sehun asked worriedly once Luhan was seated on his lap. “You looked so nervous, Lulu. Did you think that I would get mad?”

“I-It’s not that,” Luhan murmured and buried his face on the crook of Sehun’s neck. “It was just that you seemed to be enjoying your life in this town. Well, I am enjoying my stay here, too. Safe shelter, free vitamins and food, and a lot of time to spend with our pups because I do not have to hunt or go to any work. But Hunnie, Minki kept on asking me why we are not living in the forest if we are wolves.” Luhan paused, inhaling the alpha’s scent like it would make his thinking clearer.

“Minki asked that?” Sehun gaped, his arms wrapping tightly around Luhan’s lithe frame. “Such a smart kid to be aware of those things.”

“His intelligence is extraordinary,” Luhan mumbled on Sehun’s neck. “Just like you, Hunnie.”

Sehun smiled at this and motioned Luhan to face him. The alpha swept the hair covering the omega's glimmering eyes. The former leaned to press his lips on the other's forehead, making the latter blush.

"A-Anyway, you told me a wh-while ago that you have the same matter to discuss with me." Luhan shot Sehun an inquiring look, who proceeded on telling the whole story to Luhan.

"I was reluctant the whole time Jinki and I talked, but now that I think about it, why am I scared?" The alpha, at last, voiced out the very matter that was running in his mind while on his way home. "Perhaps it is because I am afraid to adjust because I got so used to the peace and luxuries of this town. I just want the best for my children, but I think moving out is the best. This is not our home anyway."

Sehun was about to say something more, but their serious discussion was interrupted when a jolly Zitao barged in the dining room, with Minghao in his arms. The child was pulling Zitao’s hair lightly while laughing heartily, and little Yongbin trailed behind with his arms wrapped around Zitao’s long legs.

“Heeeeeey, they now know our names!” Zitao exclaimed, his fingers pinching Minghao’s cheek in happiness. “He called me ‘ankow dzutao’ when I was tickling him, and Yongbin shook his head and said ‘it is uncol shutao.' Meanwhile, Minki can say Yifan and I's names clearly. Your child looks so cute while saying our names OH MY FUCKING GOD-" a smack landed on the tall man's head when a taller male's shadow appeared by the door. They saw the couple's position and Zitao shriekied, scandalized. “COULDN’T YOU TWO GET A FUCKING ROOM?” Zitao retorted while covering Minghao’s eyes.

"Do not curse on front of the kids, Huang Zitao," Yifan grunted while swinging Minki-clad in pink silken garments-causing a giggle to leave Minki's small mouth.

"Hey, did we interrupt?" Yifan whirled his head to where his friend was referring to, and he wore an amused expression on while staring at Luhan sitting on his mate's lap. "We can leave. We'll take the children out first so you two can have a sexy time-"

"NO, YOU ARE WRONG! VERY, VERY WRONG!" Luhan said a little loudly, causing Minghao to gasp from Zitao's hold.

1, 2, 3...

"UWAAAAA!" The golden-haired boy cried, alarming Zitao and Yongbin who was accidentally kicked by a panicky Zitao.

"Oh. Sorry." Luhan blinked, making a move to get up and reach for his baby.

"Ohh, did Baba make Ming-Ming's cry?" Luhan cooed while getting his son from his friend's hold. The baby calmed down once his mother started wiping his tears, but soon...

"Why is our handsome little prince crying?" Zitao picked the wailing eldest from the floor and tried swinging him around, only causing Yongbin to cry harder while pushing Zitao's face away from him.

"You almost kicked my son, idiot." Sehun rolled his eyes, extending his arms for his son to take. "You also swung him like a rag doll in the air. What kind of parenting skills do you have, Tao?"

“Does Minki love Uncle Yifan?” On the sidelines, the tall doctor asked out of the blue, with a hint of hope in his voice. Minki’s lips stretched into a grin while nodding. The baby leaned closer towards the gangling giant holding him, and pecked Yifan's cheek.

"If only women aren't bothersome, I would marry and have kids." He commented whilst cradling the pretty baby.

“Fan, Tao, let’s talk later, may we?”

"I think this is for the best, you know. Zitao, you'll settle down with your fiancé in the near future.” Zitao nodded at this, and this was one of the rare moments that he wore a serious expression. “And you," Luhan turned towards the doctor who was pouring his third cup of tea. "You became busier because you expanded your medical services due to the sudden progress of technology. It would be an inconvenience to keep a family of five in your house, moreover because a lot of things had changed.”

“Don’t you guys worry,” Sehun joined in when the other two didn’t answer. “We will visit as often as we could. Just please… understand the situation we are in.”

The two humans in the dining room remained mum, contemplating about the situation. Zitao was obviously not pleased at the proposal, his forehead creasing and his usual smile replaced with a frown that was on his face since the conversation started. Yifan’s lips were pressed into a thin line, and his eyes stared at an empty space while silently weighing the situation.

“We understand. We do not have any say about your parenting anyway.” Yifan finally broke the ice, causing Zitao to make a move to protest but Yifan raised his hand on front of the other’s face. “Honestly? You guys have been a big part of our lives. I do not know how I would bring myself to face a day without the people who had been included in my daily routine, but that’s life.” Yifan clenched his eyes shut, crossed his arms and heaved a heavy sigh. “Thank you for making our lives a little more brighter and colorful. Sure, the expenses bloated and it was difficult to explain to the people who know us who are the people who suddenly crashed my home, but believe me, the last three years of my life… I do not know about Zitao, but for me? They were the best years that ever happened in my bland life.”

“Gege, what’s with giving up and not convincing them to stay with us?” Zitao whined at his friend and punched his arm in dismay. “You should have said, ‘no, no. You can always stay at our place. We will protect you’ or anything that can persuade them to change their decision.”

“Taozi, we know that it is not possible,” Yifan answered while narrowing his eyes at his friend right after smacking his head. “They are wolves, not humans. No secret can be hidden forever. Do you want them to be killed just because we want them here with us?”

Zitao paused at that. His grimace turned into a pout, and he stood. He threw his arms over the table to wrap around his friends. “Can’t you really change your decision?”

“We are sorry, but we are one hundred percent sure about what we think is best for our children.” Luhan replied, patting an emotional Zitao whose hold tightened around them.

“But please. Promise me one thing.” The parents’ head shot up to see Yifan taking a sip from his cup. The intrigue in the doctor’s words also made Zitao detach himself from the couple and go back to his sitting position.

Yifan took a look at the living room first, making sure that the pups were immersed in their own worlds before continuing in a low, hushed voice. "Never forget to give Minki special attention."

"What do you mean?” Sehun’s eyebrows met at the vague remark. He pulled his chair closer to the table and leaned his body towards Yifan who was sitting across him. “We are watching over him as much as we can. It is just that the other two require constant attention because we all know how hell breaks loose if we leave them alone.”

“I understand, but come to think of it. Half of his waking hours are spent in my clinic.” Yifan scratched the back of his head as illustration of his confusion. “At first, I cannot understand why he wants to come with me instead of staying here at the house. But then, when we once took your kids out, I understood.”

“The kid likes being praised a lot.” Yifan added while clasping his hands animatedly. “He does not speak and react much and he often keeps to himself, but he certainly likes people. He loves it when the waiting relatives of the patient pinch his cheeks and marvel on how cute he is. Even if I just leave him in a corner to play with his toys, he is enjoying the presence of people and my constant questions of ‘are you okay, little Lulu junior?’ He likes being carried and raved by the nurses about how pretty he is, and he often acts cute just to catch people’s attention.”

“He does?” Luhan gasped. “When he is with us, he is always quiet on the sidelines.”

“That’s because your intelligent kid is aware that his two brothers require your focus,” Yifan responded with a knowing stare. "He is smarter than we think he is. You yourselves told me that wolves develop faster in all aspects but still, he knows way too much. Because he is always in my clinic, he tends to overhear adults talking. The kid knows more than what he was supposed to know at such a young age. He needs to remember that he is a three year-old baby who needs to be doted on by his parents.” The doctor pointed his spoon at the couple who could just stare in disbelief.

"Have you ever heard of the common problems of middle children?” Yifan inquired even though it sounded that he already knew the answer. “A middle child has two roles. He respects his older sibling and he needs to understand the younger. Does it click any right buttons now?"

Sehun didn’t have to think hard to be able to remember any instances. The said child never dared to walk ahead of Yongbin even if the other was going at a snail’s pace. He always gave what was left from his share of food every time Minghao was about to cry.

Sehun gazed at Luhan whose mind was reeling from a thousand realizations, and the alpha was the same.

“Some families spare the most portions for their eldest child. Some give the most to the youngest. But have you ever heard someone giving a lot to the middle one?”

Giggles were heard from the living room, making the adults whirl their heads at the direction of the familiar sound.

Minghao was blowing puffs of air on Minki’s ear, who was just playing with his Pinku Pinku plushie minutes ago. Yongbin who was rolling on the carpet noticed his cuddling brothers. He ran towards the duo, flopping his body on top of Minghao.

Luhan rose from his seat, thinking that his children were hurt, but he sighed in relief once sounds of laughter were heard. He slowly sat back on the chair, and Yifan took it as a cue to continue.

"Can't you see the longing in his eyes whenever you carry Yongbin or Minghao? He obviously craves for attention. A child needs to see that you are his parents while he is young, or else he will be indifferent when he grows up."

“Excuse me. I do not want to interrupt the serious talk but how the hell did you assess such things?” Zitao turned to his friend beside him in astonishment. “I am with the kids most of the time while you’re busy with your old man habits and I never ever thought of those-“

“Of course you didn’t notice because all you did was play with your favorite nephews.” Yifan scoffed bitterly, pushing the other’s chest by his index finger. “In the past three years, I barely saw you play, more or less talk with Minki.”

“I was not playing favorites you dumbass. It was just that Yongbin and Minghao approach me more,” Tao defended himself, swatting Yifan’s hand away. “Besides you are having your own favorite as well. You’re clinging to the child like you’re totally in love while the most that you did to the other two was to shush them.”

“That's not true! I give those two heavy boys piggy backs even if they keep on pulling my precious hair."

"Too afraid to be bald, Yifan ge?"

"Shut up. You just like those kids because they are noisy just like you,” the tallest rolled his eyes, to which Zitao protested. “Shut up, old hag!”

“Old hag? Who looks like an old hag between the two of us?” Yifan teased, making mocking faces and Zitao could only grunt in anger.

Luhan and Sehun ignored the playful bantering in front of them. Their gazes focused on their sons, particularly the smallest that they have a lot of catching up on to do.

It didn’t take much persuasion to convince their two sons to agree moving in the forest. Yongbin was mostly excited about it, his little mind recalling the fun that he experienced in the woods every time they go there during autumn to visit their old home while teaching them the basics in hunting. Minghao’s face reflected boredom and disinterest, clearly not getting what his parents were talking about.

Minki, on the other hand, was oddly quiet. Yes, the child was speechless most of the time, but Luhan could tell that the toddler was distressed by the news.

The couple took it as an opportunity to talk with their child, asking him what the problem was.

“Will we leave Ankol Fan-Fan alone?” The babe asked in a quivering voice, and when Luhan and Sehun only lowered their heads in apology, Minki did what he does not do as often as his brothers: cry.

On the day of their departure, it took a lot of force and comforting words to make Minki loosen his hold on Yifan’s clothes. Luhan and Sehun made promises of visiting Yifan at least once a month, but Minki was relentless in clutching his favorite uncle's arm.

“No one would carry Minki anymore!” Cried the toddler who was forcibly pulled back by Sehun’s gentle arms. Luhan tried stop his tears from flowing, keeping his calm for his two confused sons not to be more disoriented than they already were.

“Ankol! Ankol!” The child exclaimed, trying his best to get out from his father’s grasp. The adults’ hearts broke from the scene, especially the parents of the child who were both wondering what the hell did they do in three years for their son to be so attached to other people than them.

“Minki-yah, you will see Uncle Fan after this month.” Sehun rubbed soothing circles on the baby’s back, but the other just wriggled more violently while letting out shrill screams of “don’t wanna! I want to see Ankol everyday!”

For the first time in ages, they witnessed Yifan shedding a tear or two while turning away from the child. Yifan trudged back to his house, not looking back even if Minki was yelling and crying for his uncle to come back.

In the middle of their walk to the eatery, Minki didn’t make a single sound. Luhan, who was the one carrying his son at the moment, tried to lull Minki’s attention on the attractions in the marketplace, but the child just kept a long face on.

From the distance, Sehun already saw Jinki waving at them, with luggage and a raven-haired child beside him. Sehun pointed at them, and the family of five hurried to meet the alpha with his son. It was a good timing that a cart carrying straws was passing, and Jinki hailed it, making it come into a halt.

Jinki easily bribed the poor cart driver to let them hitch a ride by offering silken garments and some pieces of gold. Sehun’s weary arms threw their luggage on top of the straws, and one by one, they got on the cart, with the alphas assisting the children and the omega.

The couple introduced their children to the other alpha, who in turn formally let himself and his son be known. Jinki was easy to get along with. Luhan understood why his usually snobbish mate was persuaded by this quirky and witty alpha. Meanwhile, the two clueless sons of the couple rolled on the straws, ignoring the adults to indulge in their own world of fun.

Only two souls in the cart remained motionless.

“Sweetheart,” the mother cooed at the baby in his arms who was looking at the surroundings. The babe didn’t nudge a bit, and his gaze remained on the vast plains coming into view.

Sehun and Jinki were talking animatedly about alpha things, Yongbin and Minghao were giggling and playing fights, and JR was playing with a piece of flower that he brought with him. In short, Luhan had no one to ask help from. He knew that he needed to catch up with his son, and this was probably the right time to make him open up.

“Is baby mad at Baba?” At that, the babe pulled away from his mother’s grasp and faced Luhan, shaking his head ‘no.’ “Is Baba not lying when he said that Minki will see Ankol Fan-Fan again?”

“Of course not, baby.” Luhan smiled the best that he could despite the ripping shreds in his chest at the thought of his son yearning for someone else instead of his own parents. He knew that it was his fault, and he promised himself that he would make it up to his precious son.

“Does Ankol Fan love Minki? Why did Ankol refuse to look at Minki for the last time?” He asked, eyes big and shining from brimming tears. His mouth moved smoothly while asking the question, but dejection and heartbreak were etched with every word said. Minki’s face reflected all the unspoken questions that Luhan had during his difficult childhood when he was still working on proving himself worthy of someone’s love and attention. It was as if Luhan was facing the reflection of his past and it scared him seeing that his son seemed to be feeling the same.

“Uncle Yifan just did what he think is best,” Luhan responded, scooping the baby in his arms. “There are things that you cannot understand yet, Minki. Uncle is smart, remember? Uncle knew what he was doing and that it was for you. When you grow up, you will understand why Uncle did that… why we are doing this. We promise you. We will visit Uncle next month, okay? Uncle Yifan and Uncle Zitao would have fun with you guys again, and we’ll stay there for a few days. You like that, baby?”

The smaller one just nodded, even though his face implied doubt and uncertainty. Luhan sighed, caressing the baby’s small head while looking around the cart. They were nearing the forest, and probably, in just a few minutes, they would finally drop off and go on their way in the woods.

Despite the sound of hooves treading the bumpy road, people talking and laughing, the leaves rustling with the gale and the chirping of the birds, Luhan remained distracted. His mind brainstormed for ways his spouse and him could use to be able to understand their secondborn, contemplating whether he was acting like the mother he was or if he was doing all the mistakes that his parents had done. It was until he heard an amused ‘woah’ from the child in his arms, that Luhan broke from his stupor to find the source of his gloomy baby’s sudden interest.

He saw the other alpha’s son playing a lyre while staring at the horizon. Luhan didn’t know if it was the child swaying with the rhythm, or it was the rhythm itself that was driving the child to produce beautiful, soothing music.

Minki noticeably became less uneasy, his tensed muscles from crying gradually relaxing while listening to the melody coming from the wooden instrument. The mother noticed how his somber expression brightened, and the sunless glint in his eyes was replaced by cheerfulness, as if the babe’s worries got washed away into nothingness.

The boy seemed to have sensed he was being watched, and he turned towards the mother and son staring at him in awe. He went on with moving his fingers on the strings, and once he ended his piece, Minki clapped his hands with a grin, eyes crinkling in sheer delight.

“Did you learn from the town musicians? You're surprisingly good for your age.” Luhan asked the young alpha who shook his head with a shy smile on his face. “No, sir. All credits go to my father who used to wander in the humans’ realm.”

Luhan chuckled at the flustered boy’s reaction. “What’s with the formality? It feels awkward to be called by a title.”

JR hugged his lyre to his chest, clearly nervous with the idea of talking with a stranger. “Mr. Sehun told my father that you were both part of the militia.”

“That was in the past, dear,” the omega chuckled, his smile getting wider at the shyness of the boy. “Just call me Uncle or Aunt Luhan, whatever you like.”

“You’re too beautiful to be an uncle, sir.” The omega laughed at the child’s honest remark, who in turn started focusing on the babe in Luhan’s arms. “Your youngest son, Auntie?”

“He is the secondborn, but you know that in a litter, there may be…” Luhan smiled knowingly at the other, and the young alpha quickly understood. “Oh. Um, Auntie… if it isn’t too personal to ask, may I know why he does not look happy? Does he hate us?”

Luhan shook his head at the question, and smiled weakly at JR. “He is still upset that we left his favorite uncle behind. He had been too attached to a human friend of us, and now…”

The conversation was cut when the cart stopped at the southern part of the town, which was near the entrance of the forest. The alphas scurried down first, assisting the others in going down. Jinki handed the gifts he promised and sent the driver off with wishes of blessings and prosperity.

“Boys, do not run!” Sehun hollered, lifting their things from the ground and walked beside Jinki who was also carrying bags and bags of clothes. Yongbin and Minghao laughed at that, but gradually made their way back to their mother who was carrying their sad brother.

“Do you want to play with Pinku Pinku?” The omega asked the baby in his arms, knowing that the stuff toy that Yifan gave his son would make his mood even better.

The child shook his head, much to Luhan’s surprise. “Minki wants to play with him.” Luhan’s eyes followed to where the short, chubby finger was pointing at, and he saw JR who was strapping his backpack and adjusting his belt.

“But your JR hyung is already carrying his own stuff,” Luhan explained, lightly pinching his son’s chubby cheeks. “Don’t you want Baba to carry you?”

“Is there any matter, Auntie?” JR inquired upon seeing Minki’s glassy eyes staring longingly at him.

“Ah, nothing,” Luhan shook his hand while looking around, making sure his two sons were just beside him. “My son has this tendency to be interested with new people he meets, so…”

“May I carry him?” Luhan blinked at the unexpected question, making him look at his whining son who kept on pointing at JR.

“You okay with that?” Luhan was answered with an eager nod from JR, and he carefully placed his baby on the ground.

“Hey there, little one. My name is Jonghyun, but please call me JR hyung. What’s yours?” JR smiled, lifting the pretty babe to secure him in his arm. Minki giggled at that, patting the other’s cheek with his tender hands.

“Minki,” the younger pup answered, making a cute gesture with his fists resting below his chin. Luhan gaped, shocked to realize that what Yifan was talking about Minki’s cute acts was indeed true. Throughout the walk, Luhan was relieved to see Minki laughing at the elder boy’s funny faces. JR was obviously fond of the pretty pink fluff ball giggling in his arm, and Luhan’s fears of his family being unwelcome at their new pack gradually subsided.

Sehun felt satisfied. There was nothing more fulfilling than feeling the solid ground on his skin, just like the old times. Jinki made them stay in the cave only given to important guests, because, as the pack’s alpha said, they were still on the process of preparing the new pack members an even more comfortable place.

The cave was luxurious, to say the least. It was almost the same to Sehun’s old home, plus brighter lights coming from the lamps which were jars full of fireflies. Cozy beddings were present to sleep on when they were not in their wolf form. Silky curtains cover the entrance of the cave, where the kids loved rubbing their faces on because of the smoothness. The place was big enough to fit all of their human bodies in. The food was also good, but Sehun still believed that their late pack’s preys were still the best.

They were welcomed in the pack like they were important guests, and Sehun learned that they weren’t the only family that Jinki and his small pack adopted through the years. The warm reception, cheerful greetings and sincere acts of kindness made the couple relieved that they were blessed to have a new pack like this.

Sehun just hoped that it was not just a temporary show off.

That very night, they sat on the soft beddings, with Luhan holding a persistently stubborn Minghao. Yongbin and Minki sat side by side with their small, squishy hands intertwined, and Sehun on front of the other four.

“Tonight," Sehun started, his voice merry, "the story will be about an omega named… Luhan.”

“Oh my God. Not again.” The said omega facepalmed at that, shaking his head while letting a soft laugh out. “Hunnie, don’t you have any stories to tell? The kids heard that tale all over again. Don’t you have any stories in store?”

“But it is the most beautiful story I know,” Sehun winked, turning to his two sons. “You guys love this story, right?”

“Yes!” The kids enthusiastically answered, with Yongbin swinging their intertwined hands in the air. “Yongbin wants to hear about baba! Yongbin wants to kick bad guys like Baba and Appa!”

“But you’re still too young, sweetheart,” Luhan smiled while ruffling the boy’s hair. “You cannot even catch a prey yet.”

“Ming-Ming wants Appa to start now!” Minghao whined while wriggling in Luhan’s arm, “Appa is taking too much time!” He reached out to tug on Sehun’s top, but his arm was too short and Luhan pulled him back on time before the baby got away from his mother’s grip. The couple laughed at their child and the omega pecked the whining baby’s head.

“There was a pup who was smaller than his brothers.” Sehun’s hand reached for their second born to caress the baby who was listening attentively. “His brothers didn’t like him. His mother and father didn’t give him any attention. When his brothers were having fun playing with their parents, he would just hide in a corner and cry to himself. Even the other pups in the community did not like playing with the pup because he was different from the others. He was always left out, and the pup could do nothing but watch from the sidelines.”

“Now, kids,” Luhan gave his children a once-over before continuing, “no one likes to be left out, right?” The eldest and the youngest pups nodded their heads profusely, while Minki… he just remained on his seat, an unreadable expression on.

“What did Halmeoni, Harabeoji and your uncles did was wrong.” Luhan murmured under his breath, “Now, what do you say if you hurt someone?”

“’Shorry!'” Yongbin answered, and Sehun bent to peck the boy’s temple. “Very good, Yongbinnie. I hope that Minghao also says ‘sorry’ whenever he pushes his brothers.”

“Minghao is sorry for always hurting Yongbinnie and Minki!” The youngest said while grinning ear to ear at his brothers, “Minghao loves Yongbinnie and Minki this much!” The hyperactive child extended his arms while making a big circle, causing the adults inside the cave to chuckle at their son’s cuteness.

Sehun went on with the story, making the words more understandable during the scenes of gore and despair such as when the soldiers in the pack ‘went into a long sleep after laying their lives to protect the whole pack’ and simply stated that ‘Appa hurt Baba but Baba still loved Appa so he forgave him.’

“And the story ends with your Baba giving birth to three little bundles of blessings and joys named Yongbin, Minki and Minghao.” The children cheered once their names were mentioned, and Sehun saw it as an opportunity to play with his adorable babies.

“Who are baby Luhan’s brothers again?” Sehun asked while grinning. “Appa’s going to give the one who can say all names a piggy back ride tomorrow!”

The children, who were drowsy from travelling, wore distressed looks. Sehun smirked knowing that his babies hate the recitation part the most. They all raised their hands to say their answers, with Yongbin being the most hyped one despite his wrong answers.

“Ankow Chanyeor, Ankow Jungin, Ankow Kyeongshoo,” Minghao murmured lowly while counting by his fingers. “Ankow Baekyown, Ankow Jongdee-“

“It is Uncle Jongdae, my son,” Luhan chuckled while cradling his sleepy baby, “plus, you forgot Uncle Minseok.”

“Ming-Ming also forgot Uncol Joonmyown and Uncol Ishing,” Yongbin said with his cheeks huffing in difficulty in remembering. Sehun let out a shrill laugh and shook his head. “No, baby. Uncle Joonmyeon and Uncle Yixing were just Baba’s friends but they were like brothers to him.”

The night went on with more questions and kisses, and soon, Minghao was sleeping soundly in Luhan’s arms and an asleep Yongbin was leaning against Minki who looked like he had difficulty keeping himself still with his big brother’s weight.

“Oh, our little cutie is still awake,” Luhan whispered while laying Minghao on the pillow. Sehun pried Yongbin’s hand off Minki and laid the big babe beside Minghao on the middle of the bed, for them to sleep between their parents.

“Isn’t Minki tired from the day’s travel?” Luhan inquired while scooping the babe in his arms. “Does Minki like making friends with JR hyung?” The omega completely ignored the seething looks of the protective father at the side, who was obviously still displeased with the mention of the young boy’s name who he assumed was hitting on his beautiful son.

“Minki likes JR hyung, but Minki misses Ankol Fan-Fan and Ankol Tao,” Minki said, his eyes meeting with his mother’s. “Minki misses Ankol Fan-Fan the most. No one will carry Minki anymore.”

“But Baba is carrying you right now,” the golden-haired omega said while adjusting Minki in his hold. “Does Minki not want Baba and Appa to carry you?”

Instead of giving a definite answer, the child asked a very random question which made the two adults frown in confusion. “Is Minki also small like Baba when Baba was a baby?”

“Yes, baby,” Sehun answered while scooting closer to the mother-and-son duo. “You are exactly like your mother when he was a pup like you. You make me remember about your mother a lot every time I look at you.”

The two exchanged puzzled and troubled stares at their son’s next question. “If Minki is not like Baba, will Baba and Appa love Minki?”

Sehun was taken aback and Luhan visibly paled at the remark. Did they really neglect their son enough for him to ask such a question?

“Halmeoni and Harabeoji didn't like Baba before because Baba was so small,” the baby added in a gurgled voice while poking his mother’s cheek. “So does that mean Baba and Appa do not love Minki, too?”

Sehun felt his throat going dry, and all he could do was look at his mate who looked like he was about to cry.

“We love you so much, baby,” Luhan’s pained gaze softened as his hand ruffled Minki’s hair. “You are our little Minki who is a blessing from the heavens. We will always love you no matter what.”

Minki blinked at that as he turned towards his father who remained stiff on his seat. “Yongbinnie is always with Appa. Ming-Ming is always carried by Baba. Minki wants to play too but Minki is too shy to ask.”

“W-Why are you being shy to us?” Sehun asked once he found his voice. “You are our angel, Minki-yah. You can always ask Baba and Appa for the things you like.”

Minki pouted at this and shook his arms in the air in disapproval. “Minki heard Ankol Fan-Fan say to Ankol Tao that Baba is tired from taking care of Yongbinnie and Ming-Ming all day and Appa is tired from work. Minki does not want to burden Baba and Appa so Minki just goes to Ankol Fan-Fan’s clinic instead.”

Burden? Where did Minki learn such a word? The couple went deadly silent, their mind jumbled into a mess to even say something. This was the sole occasion that they heard Minki speak so long and this much, but did it really have to be a heart-wrenching confession? As if the pain in the babe’s words wasn’t enough, Minki went on with spilling his thoughts once he saw his speechless parents too shocked to even say anything.

“Appa looks so happy when he was teaching Yongbin how to run in the forest. Yongbin was so fast compared to Minki. Minki wants to run too but Minki keeps on stumbling. Baba was so busy cuddling with Minghao so Minghao won’t cry. Minghao will be mad if Minki or Yongbin interrupts. Minki wants to do what Minghao and Yongbinnie do but Minki is too weak and small. Hmm…” Minki looked around like he was checking if his siblings were truly asleep. “Minki wants to be like Baba. Even greater than Yongbinnie and Minghao. Minki wants to conquer the world!”

The child said it with his innocent glimmering doe eyes staring with pride at his parents, who could only stare at him in guilt.

“Minki does not need to prove anything to Baba and Appa,” Sehun said, totally aware of the soon-to-break dam of emotions of his mate. “Baba and Appa love you for the way you are. Yongbin and Minghao love you too for who you are.”

The babe shook his head profusely, determination gleaming in his eyes. “Minki wants to be like Baba so Baba and Appa won’t stop loving Minki. Minki wants…” The clueless child paused, his face scrunched in concentration. “Minki does not know how to say it. Minki still does not know enough words. All that Minki knows is that Minki loves Baba and Appa!”

Minki wanted to prove himself. Minki wanted to be a good son for him not to burden his parents. Minki was insecure, feeling that his parents would stop loving him if doesn't becoe good enough.

It was just too much for Luhan’s heart who had long forgotten all about the ordeal he dealt with as a child. It was happening again without them knowing, and here is ttheir jolly son, thinking that he wasn’t good enough… at the early age of three.

I am a horrible mother.

“Lu?” Luhan’s eyes protruded once he heard his mate’s worried voice, and that was when he realized that he was crying.

“Why is Baba crying, Appa?” Minki asked, blinking at his father whose eyes held a glint of sorrow and remorse. “Is Baba hurt?”

“Baba is sorry, baby.” Luhan wound his arms tightly around the baby who was still unaware of what was happening. “Baba and Appa are sorry. We didn’t know that you felt that way.”

“I cannot understand Baba,” the helpless babe squirmed a bit to direct his gaze at his father, who was then leaning closer to join the hug.

“Appa and Baba were bad, Minki,” Sehun whispered with regret in his voice as he surrounded his son and mate with his arms. “I… I am so sorry. Please do not forget that we love you. We will make it up to you, we promise.”

“Why are Baba and Appa crying?” Minki helplessly asked to no one in particular. His mother just sobbed louder at that, and his father soon joined the tearful session.

“Now that I think about it, I barely spared him some breast milk. Minghao would cry so I would attend to him first. After I am done with him, Yongbin would drink from the other one. When it was Minki's turn, there was barely any milk left from both of my breasts. He often took goat's milk just to satisfy his hunger. When it was time that they can eat some sweet potatoes, he almost got nothing because his brothers kept on whining and stealing his own share whenever they are done.” The couple had been sitting on the entrance of the cave in the past hour, lamenting about how they unknowingly neglected their second born as if they were playing favorites, even if it wasn't their intention.

“Yifan was right. I almost didn’t carry him or even played with him.” Sehun whispered to the cold breeze, pulling his lover closer to his hold. “I guess I took my job of training a potential alpha way too much that I barely spent time with my two other boys, especially my little Luhan carbon copy.”

“And I became too lenient with our spoiled youngest son up to the point that I barely held my little sweetheart.” Luhan sighed while leaning his head on Sehun’s chest, close to the alpha’s heart. “I was so stupid not to realize that he kept on tagging along with Yifan even if Yifan was working because I almost didn’t give him his well-deserved attention at home. It pisses me off how Yifan was the one who figured such a thing out instead of me. What kind of mother am I? He came out from me but I am still having difficulty reading him despite being a parent for three years.” Luhan bit his quivering lip at that, not wanting to cry anymore and wake up with swollen eyes that would just make his children worry. “I promised myself not to make anyone feel left out, but at the rate the situation is going…”

“It wasn’t entirely your fault, Lulu. Let’s just say that we were fortunate enough to have a pup who easily understands and perceives what’s happening in his surroundings even if he rarely speaks. He is so sensitive to our feelings despite being young.” Sehun looked up to the starless sky with a bittersweet smile etched on his features. “Somehow, I feel proud to have a son as matured and observant as him. He is an angel.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact that we didn’t manage our time with our kids that well.” Luhan curled closer to Sehun, wrapping his arms around the alpha’s midsection. “Knowing that he was considering my feelings just makes me more guilty than I already am. I can’t help but feel ashamed of myself.”

“Likewise. I started asking myself since the day we talked about this with Fan if my age really determines my wisdom in this kind of things. I could organize complex military strategies and lead the whole pack, but here I am, not able to understand someone as young and small as our own son. But then, we cannot change what already happened.” Sehun nuzzled the crown of his lover’s head, inhaling the sweet scent of berries and flowers of his golden hair. “All that we could do now is to make him forget about the first three attention-deprived years of his life and make him feel loved as much as we are showing his brothers. It isn’t too late.”

“Is that the wisdom of a forty year-old alpha?” Luhan joked despite the crack in his voice, to which Sehun roughly ruffled his hair. “How dare you tease me about my age, my big baby.”

“Well, your age does not show on your face and stamina anyway.” Luhan chuckled while kissing Sehun’s neck. “You’re still my Hunnie who helped me become who I am today.”

“And you’re still my one and only cuddly baby deer with a blood of a wolf,” Sehun smiled, tilting Luhan's chin for a blissful peck on the lips.

The omega giggled at this, and once it died down, he asked, "Seriously speaking, do you think that the kids would adjust in this place? What about Minki? Do you think that the pack is just absorbing us because of their pack leader?"

"Honestly, I have the same thoughts. I have trust issues about this kind of things because..." The alpha trailed off, and Luhan merely nodded as an understanding. "But I want to give it a try, because we could never move on if we refuse to move forward just because we are afraid to see what lies further the latter part of the road, right?"

"You're right," the omega snuggled closer to the alpha as if he would die without Sehun's presence. "I finally saw my home."

"Wow, so fast," Sehun chukled while ruffling his mate's hair, "you just told me that you are doubting the pack-"

"Did I say that my home is in a certain place?" The omega asked rhetorically, eyes locking with Sehun's clueless orbs.

"Sehun-ah, did I ever tell you that you smell like home?"