Trailer Park Adventure
I had to go to the local trailer park to fix someone's computer earlier today. The couple that owns the computer are total parkies. In fact, they even have a bumper sticker on the front of their trailer saying something like, "God hates rednecks... tornadoes only hit trailer parks". Both Joanne & Steve are total drunks and Joanne smokes way too much weed for her own good. All of their ashtrays are filled with roaches and every counter top has at least a dime bag.
Steve offered me a beer and at first I refused the offer (considering I had just woke up an hour earlier) but after listening to them talk for half a minute, I quickly changed my mind and accepted. Soon enough, I had 6 beers in my stomach and no food. I seriously had to drink that much to cope with being around them!
Joanne is one of those annoying people who don't listen to a word you're saying when you speak. You know the annoying boss in Office Space that's always like, "Ok greaaaaat, yeahhh, if you could just come in to work tomorrow morning at 7am that would be greaaat"? She was pulling that shit on me while I was trying to explain to her about the 120 spyware garbage files she managed to get installed since I put the computer together for her last week. Part way through me telling her about how many spyware programs were installed, she's like, "Greaaaat, oh yeah! That's wonderful yeahhh. The internet is just a whole new world isn't it fun? Wow, I used to know all about it before but now I'm just out of the loop heheheheh". Great? Wonderful? What's great & wonderful about me telling you how you fucked your shit up? Better roll another one love child.
Then Steve starts telling me about his wonderful ideas of making massive amounts of money on ebay selling Joanne's home made hippie bead jewelry and a bunch of other garbage. Unfortunately (fortunately?) he has no idea what "internet" is. Before you put stuff on ebay, first you have to learn how to double click on your desktop. He also wanted me to find him a cheap ticket to Thailand for some other insane venture. His money making idea stories somehow drifted to stories of making money from selling drugs back in the late 60's & early 70's.
Steve has white hair and somehow reminds me of Einstein minus any sort of brains and his big glasses are so scratched up, I'm surprised he can see out of them. Anyways, somehow his story managed to mention how he's been to jail like 30 years ago and how he would never want to go back. Apparently back in his home town there was a guy named "Killer Dave" who used to terrorize people in his community and he didn't like it. So one day Steve got in an argument with Killer Dave at the bar while high on 7 hits of early 70's microdot lsd and he told Killer Dave that he was going to shoot him in the face.
Steve took off from the bar and went directly to the nearest gun shop where he managed to kick the door in and snag a shotgun and a pocket full of shells. He sawed off the tip and twined the shotgun to his body under his winter coat and strolled back into the bar to say 'sup' to Killer Dave. Steve shot the place up but was lucky enough NOT to hit anyone with any of the blasts LOL. Got sentenced 4 years and did 2.
Soon after his story, he passed out and I made my grand escape.
The End.
Steve offered me a beer and at first I refused the offer (considering I had just woke up an hour earlier) but after listening to them talk for half a minute, I quickly changed my mind and accepted. Soon enough, I had 6 beers in my stomach and no food. I seriously had to drink that much to cope with being around them!
Joanne is one of those annoying people who don't listen to a word you're saying when you speak. You know the annoying boss in Office Space that's always like, "Ok greaaaaat, yeahhh, if you could just come in to work tomorrow morning at 7am that would be greaaat"? She was pulling that shit on me while I was trying to explain to her about the 120 spyware garbage files she managed to get installed since I put the computer together for her last week. Part way through me telling her about how many spyware programs were installed, she's like, "Greaaaat, oh yeah! That's wonderful yeahhh. The internet is just a whole new world isn't it fun? Wow, I used to know all about it before but now I'm just out of the loop heheheheh". Great? Wonderful? What's great & wonderful about me telling you how you fucked your shit up? Better roll another one love child.
Then Steve starts telling me about his wonderful ideas of making massive amounts of money on ebay selling Joanne's home made hippie bead jewelry and a bunch of other garbage. Unfortunately (fortunately?) he has no idea what "internet" is. Before you put stuff on ebay, first you have to learn how to double click on your desktop. He also wanted me to find him a cheap ticket to Thailand for some other insane venture. His money making idea stories somehow drifted to stories of making money from selling drugs back in the late 60's & early 70's.
Steve has white hair and somehow reminds me of Einstein minus any sort of brains and his big glasses are so scratched up, I'm surprised he can see out of them. Anyways, somehow his story managed to mention how he's been to jail like 30 years ago and how he would never want to go back. Apparently back in his home town there was a guy named "Killer Dave" who used to terrorize people in his community and he didn't like it. So one day Steve got in an argument with Killer Dave at the bar while high on 7 hits of early 70's microdot lsd and he told Killer Dave that he was going to shoot him in the face.
Steve took off from the bar and went directly to the nearest gun shop where he managed to kick the door in and snag a shotgun and a pocket full of shells. He sawed off the tip and twined the shotgun to his body under his winter coat and strolled back into the bar to say 'sup' to Killer Dave. Steve shot the place up but was lucky enough NOT to hit anyone with any of the blasts LOL. Got sentenced 4 years and did 2.
Soon after his story, he passed out and I made my grand escape.
The End.