Having effulgently bad sex with... Doyle (the Lindsey kind of Doyle)
Title: Having effulgently bad sex with… Doyle (the Lindsey kind of Doyle)
Pairing: Spike/Doyle
Rating: R
Words: 1.015
Disclaimer: Not mine. Damn.
Warnings: language (mine, still not a native speaker, no beta).
Title: Having effulgently bad sex with… Doyle (the Lindsey kind of Doyle)
Pairing: Spike/Doyle
Rating: R
Words: 1.015
Disclaimer: Not mine. Damn.
Warnings: language (mine, still not a native speaker, no beta).
„You’re the girl!“
„Huh?“ Spike stopped mid-thrust and looked puzzled.
„In this... thing we have. I’m the man!“
„Yeah“, Spike snickered, „tell that to your feet waving in the air“ and jabbed once more into the human. A very hard, manly thrust, that shoved Doyle against the headboard, the dull sound of skull on metal making it perfectly clear who penetrated whom here.
„I pay for the appartment“, Doyle hissed and braced himself on his forearms so he was level with Spike. Well, a little less beneath him, still lying on his back while the vampire was above and inside him.
„I’m stronger!“, Spike hollered, indignant about being called on his economic dependence like some 1950s wifey. He could leave anytime, fuckdamit! He just had to ask Angel and-
Bollocks.
„I could stake you!“ Doyle threatened, lifting his chin to gain some metaphorical inches.
Spike only raised an eye brow, smirked derisively and thrust once more. That much for the staking.
„You squeal when you come!“ Trying to regain some ground, literally, Doyle attempted to place his legs back on the mattress but Spike was faster and managed to kneel, drawing Doyle with him so he lay flat on his back again, his ass propped up on Spike’s thighs and his legs held tight above the vampire’s shoulders.
„You purr!“, Spike countered.
„I don’t purr!“
„And how!“
„I don’t!“
„You do!“
„I don’t!“ The man’s face had assumed a very unhealthy crimson colour and a thick vein at his forehead was throbbing vigorously. For a brief moment, Spike wondered whom this little conversation reminded him of. However. He had an angry human beneath and around him fighting for his remaining manhood while Spike was balls-deep inside his ass and if that wasn’t fun...?!
„Like a sweet lil’ kitty cat“, the vampire added grinning, imitating a clumsy little claw motion accompanied by a soft kitten hiss and ceasing instantly when he realized how incredibly cute that probably made him look like.
Besides, it didn’t exactly keep him hard, thinking about kittens, furry little tails twitching and whiskers trembling when they sniffled and nuzzled and... sex now. Hard, manly, not-gay-just-a-demon-we-fuck-everything-but-kittens-thing-at-all-sex. Concentrate, Spike.
„There’s nothing to purr with you, let me tell you that“, Doyle groaned and tried to wriggle himself free.
Spike held him tight and let his smirk grow even wider. „Nah, just to moan, shout and beg like the little bitch you are, kitten boy."
„Cause it’s bad, you moron! Incredible bad sex, O.K.?!“
„Right“, Spike nodded“, and now my lil’ bint’s gonna tell me you always faked your orgasms, right?“
„Errr...“, Doyle stammered, unsure if he should blow his cover by convincing Spike of the truth of this statement in spite of the obvious counterevidence. The bravura of argumentation of W&H’s former golden boy beaten by his own spunk? Hardly.
„Only came ‘cause I thought of somebody else!“
“Oi!” Spike shuffled Doyle off, his cock plopping free. “Who?”
“Ange-l-ina Jolie!”
“Brad Pitt, you mean. Fag.”
“Fag yourself!
“No you!”
“No you!”
“No… bollocks!” Fuck, Spike really needed to know what this reminded him of.
“Anyways”, Doyle said after taking several deep breaths, “I’m not the girl.” He raised his hand. “and if you say something even remotely sounding like “you are” I’ll castrate you before the dusting gig.”
“Fine!” Spike turned around, allowing Doyle’s feet to slide off his shoulders, and let himself fall against the headboard so they sat side by side. Utterly unable not to fuel the fire, he added “and you aren’t as gay as the local male water ballet team, are you?”
“Oh please.”
“Right. You just like taking it up the arse.”
“I don’t.”
Spike just glared at him, briefly realizing that both of them were practically flaccid now.
“Doesn’t mean I’m a queer or anything.” Doyle mumbled, eyes riveted and sounding like a four years old denying to have nicked a cookie while the crumbs still adhered to his chin.
“It does.”
“It doesn… look, it’ simple. If you’re hetero, it’s about holes. If you’re gay, it’s about love.”
“And for you it’s about-“
“Of course!” Doyle looked really disgusted. “Oh come on, Spike, don’t tell me you are… you aren’t, right? Don’t tell me I’ve fucked a dirty little faggot!”
“Course not!“ Spike stared at the opposite wall, swearing to himself to keep his mouth shut and go home pronto. But then again, that’s where he was yet.
“So you don’t feel… about me…”, the vampire mumbled, biting his bottom lip, not even emphasizing that he was the one doing the fucking, “like, you know-“
“Fuck no!” Doyle squealed and jumped up. He tried again. “No way!”, three octaves lower this time. “Do you?” There wasn’t the faintest touch of hope in the human’s voice. Of course not.
Spike just shook his head in denial and got up, too. “Now leave.”
“What about the fuck?”, not hopeful, not at all. Neither desperate.
“Got other holes to fill.”
“Whose?” Not a question, an order.
“None of your business.”
They stood there, naked, enraged, looking daggers at each other while they watched their already shaky glaze of possibilities shrinking into a matchbox full of missed chances. Spike fetched the dishevelled pile of Doyle’s clothes and threw them at him, then headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Sodd’ off. Haven’t got all day. Places to be, women to shag, puppies to save.” He opened a can of beer and swallowed the half of it down in one gulp, suddenly not being comfortable with being naked at all.
There was silence to be filled, sentences to be said, palpable like fortune cookie messages. They didn’t say a word.
Staring at the wall, one hand braced on the counter while the other smashed the can so hard that foam poured all over Spike’s fingers, the vampire only heard Doyle opening the door.
“I’ll let you know when I have another vision”, Doyle said matter-of-factly.
“Sure”, Spike answered and closed his eyes when he heard the door being closed with a quiet, nearly cautious clicking.
At least they’d fill holes again.