Fic: Questions/implied HD/T/one-shot
I didn't think that I'd ever post any of the fics that I wrote but I happened to enjoy this one, even if it is extremely vague...
Anyways, here it goes (even if no one is ever going to read it).
Title: Questions
Author: kasmo
Pairing: implied Harry/Draco or pre-slash
Rating: T
Warnings: Harry's POV; implied mpreg
Summary: It's been years and they haven't seen each other in that long. So now that Draco Malfoy is back, Harry has questions.
Disclaimer: Sadly the boys and everyone else belongs to JK Rowling because if the boys belonged to me, well all our fantasies would become reality wouldn't they?
A/N: This is definitely has not been betaed (I don't even know if I spelled that correctly). I've been told that I always mix the present and pass tense in my works and since I haven't tried to fix my problem *shrugs* it's still here, sorry.
When he first disappeared, I don’t think I even noticed since we were rounding up for the Final Battle with Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
When I started to unconsciously look for white blond hair on the battlefield, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. When I didn’t find it on that one person, I didn’t quite understand why I felt relief and dread at the same time.
I was told I was supposed to have died in the backlash wave of power that was used to kill Tom. But I didn’t and somehow I knew it had to do with him.
I wanted to see him because I knew he had the answers to my questions. I doubt anyone would have the answers to what I wanted answered, not even Dumbledore. Well, maybe, but I suspect I wouldn’t get them that easily.
And then I didn’t understand why I always saw sad expressions on Remus and Neville’s faces, hell even Snape and Dumbledore’s faces when his name was mentioned. I never believed that he would ever die.
Days passed, weeks passed, months passed, my mind didn’t seem to comprehend that he wasn’t there. I just believed that I always missed him during meal times and the map didn’t help. It was just my luck that when I wanted classes with the Slytherins, we would have none together in our final year.
When I finally asked, it was during the early Christmas dinner, which everyone was to attend and I didn’t see him. I finally asked Hermione and I felt totally blank as she told me:
“Malfoy? Harry, no one has seen him since the evening of September 1st.” I was just happy that she didn’t question why because I wouldn’t have heard her nor could I answer her.
Holidays and classes flew by and with NEWTS I hardly had time to breathe, like alone think.
When May came around, I didn’t remember what happened but Hermione told me I had fainted on the 18th. Madam Promfrey could not tell what was wrong or why I suddenly fainted, I think even Dumbledore was surprised and looked contemplative. Why, I don’t know because I thought the stress was just getting to me.
After graduation, we all went to work for the Ministry and I could hardly believe that there was still Death Eaters out there that were not in Azkaban and more rising Dark Arts activity.
Five years passed. It wasn’t that I spent these five years being idle. I still had that obsession. Everyone thought it too unhealthy but I still needed those answers. They say to live each day with no regrets. I’m not too sure why I would regret it if I didn’t see him again but somehow, I knew I would.
When that day finally came, I was not prepared, for any aspect of it. For Draco to come barging in and manhandling Dumbledore, yelling at Neville, I felt torn. I somehow also knew he was ignoring me because anywhere Ron was, I know he knew I would be close by.
His scathing last remark left me bewildered, he used Voldemort, not Dark Lord or any of that bullshit but Voldemort, there had to be something going on.
I didn’t know what was going on, and that didn’t sit well with me. Then I didn’t see Remus or Neville or Snape either, something about a conference and McGonagall was left to entertain us. When I felt a pang of loss, I decided it was time to take our leave, she told us Dumbledore had already left the premises.
I wasn’t sure what to think after I finally got away from Ron and everyone’s rants. For some reason they can’t see the mysterious aura that surrounds Draco and a new sense of foreboding came when I detected absolutely no magic surrounding him, it left me scared. And then I was left wondering HOW I knew all this.
When another shot of pain hit me at midnight it left me gasping and I barely had time to regain my breath before I received a message from Remus about a classmate and I knew it was about him and I knew I had to go.
When I got there, I didn’t talk to anyone because when I reached my destination, the place was bearing down on me and I only had to get to one place to make it all better. The only thing in my sight was him lying there with children in his arms.
I walked straight to you, I didn’t even notice the astonished or happy faces or even that one scowl, all I saw was you and you needed attention, one for sure because you were so light, even with the children, who instantly quieted from their cries.
I had barely reached everyone before you were taken away again by faces I did not know and the next thing I knew we were back at Hogwarts. I didn’t even have time to ask anything before the cursed fates decide to call me out. Wait for me because I need those answers.
And please, please just be alright.
And since I'm too lazy to post a second entry and since no one is going to read this... well I guess I'll rant then. Gosh it's been a while, I don't remember half of anything anymore. All I know is that I'm going to fail my Organic Chem final and I'm not going to happy. Fuck man, I'm seriously fucked. I know I have to study but I have no ambition to do it. The internet is corrupting me, well I already knew that but still I'm going to fail and have no one but myself to blame it on. I am so pathetic.
University is definitely not what it is all cracked up to be. I am just praying I don't fail any of my courses, of course organic isn't shaping up to that, just- oh gosh, don't fail, don't fail, don't fail.
It is always harder to continue living than to give up but in the end what matters is if you can live with your results because it is your life. But that's not saying because you can't do one thing to go kill yourself, no sometimes it means to just find another way or find something entirely different to do. It isn't necessarily giving up but finding a new perspective.
Anyways, here it goes (even if no one is ever going to read it).
Title: Questions
Author: kasmo
Pairing: implied Harry/Draco or pre-slash
Rating: T
Warnings: Harry's POV; implied mpreg
Summary: It's been years and they haven't seen each other in that long. So now that Draco Malfoy is back, Harry has questions.
Disclaimer: Sadly the boys and everyone else belongs to JK Rowling because if the boys belonged to me, well all our fantasies would become reality wouldn't they?
A/N: This is definitely has not been betaed (I don't even know if I spelled that correctly). I've been told that I always mix the present and pass tense in my works and since I haven't tried to fix my problem *shrugs* it's still here, sorry.
When he first disappeared, I don’t think I even noticed since we were rounding up for the Final Battle with Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
When I started to unconsciously look for white blond hair on the battlefield, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. When I didn’t find it on that one person, I didn’t quite understand why I felt relief and dread at the same time.
I was told I was supposed to have died in the backlash wave of power that was used to kill Tom. But I didn’t and somehow I knew it had to do with him.
I wanted to see him because I knew he had the answers to my questions. I doubt anyone would have the answers to what I wanted answered, not even Dumbledore. Well, maybe, but I suspect I wouldn’t get them that easily.
And then I didn’t understand why I always saw sad expressions on Remus and Neville’s faces, hell even Snape and Dumbledore’s faces when his name was mentioned. I never believed that he would ever die.
Days passed, weeks passed, months passed, my mind didn’t seem to comprehend that he wasn’t there. I just believed that I always missed him during meal times and the map didn’t help. It was just my luck that when I wanted classes with the Slytherins, we would have none together in our final year.
When I finally asked, it was during the early Christmas dinner, which everyone was to attend and I didn’t see him. I finally asked Hermione and I felt totally blank as she told me:
“Malfoy? Harry, no one has seen him since the evening of September 1st.” I was just happy that she didn’t question why because I wouldn’t have heard her nor could I answer her.
Holidays and classes flew by and with NEWTS I hardly had time to breathe, like alone think.
When May came around, I didn’t remember what happened but Hermione told me I had fainted on the 18th. Madam Promfrey could not tell what was wrong or why I suddenly fainted, I think even Dumbledore was surprised and looked contemplative. Why, I don’t know because I thought the stress was just getting to me.
After graduation, we all went to work for the Ministry and I could hardly believe that there was still Death Eaters out there that were not in Azkaban and more rising Dark Arts activity.
Five years passed. It wasn’t that I spent these five years being idle. I still had that obsession. Everyone thought it too unhealthy but I still needed those answers. They say to live each day with no regrets. I’m not too sure why I would regret it if I didn’t see him again but somehow, I knew I would.
When that day finally came, I was not prepared, for any aspect of it. For Draco to come barging in and manhandling Dumbledore, yelling at Neville, I felt torn. I somehow also knew he was ignoring me because anywhere Ron was, I know he knew I would be close by.
His scathing last remark left me bewildered, he used Voldemort, not Dark Lord or any of that bullshit but Voldemort, there had to be something going on.
I didn’t know what was going on, and that didn’t sit well with me. Then I didn’t see Remus or Neville or Snape either, something about a conference and McGonagall was left to entertain us. When I felt a pang of loss, I decided it was time to take our leave, she told us Dumbledore had already left the premises.
I wasn’t sure what to think after I finally got away from Ron and everyone’s rants. For some reason they can’t see the mysterious aura that surrounds Draco and a new sense of foreboding came when I detected absolutely no magic surrounding him, it left me scared. And then I was left wondering HOW I knew all this.
When another shot of pain hit me at midnight it left me gasping and I barely had time to regain my breath before I received a message from Remus about a classmate and I knew it was about him and I knew I had to go.
When I got there, I didn’t talk to anyone because when I reached my destination, the place was bearing down on me and I only had to get to one place to make it all better. The only thing in my sight was him lying there with children in his arms.
I walked straight to you, I didn’t even notice the astonished or happy faces or even that one scowl, all I saw was you and you needed attention, one for sure because you were so light, even with the children, who instantly quieted from their cries.
I had barely reached everyone before you were taken away again by faces I did not know and the next thing I knew we were back at Hogwarts. I didn’t even have time to ask anything before the cursed fates decide to call me out. Wait for me because I need those answers.
And please, please just be alright.
And since I'm too lazy to post a second entry and since no one is going to read this... well I guess I'll rant then. Gosh it's been a while, I don't remember half of anything anymore. All I know is that I'm going to fail my Organic Chem final and I'm not going to happy. Fuck man, I'm seriously fucked. I know I have to study but I have no ambition to do it. The internet is corrupting me, well I already knew that but still I'm going to fail and have no one but myself to blame it on. I am so pathetic.
University is definitely not what it is all cracked up to be. I am just praying I don't fail any of my courses, of course organic isn't shaping up to that, just- oh gosh, don't fail, don't fail, don't fail.
It is always harder to continue living than to give up but in the end what matters is if you can live with your results because it is your life. But that's not saying because you can't do one thing to go kill yourself, no sometimes it means to just find another way or find something entirely different to do. It isn't necessarily giving up but finding a new perspective.