smoke on the water
Ok this weeks been a bit fucked up. parents went a way on holiday last week so I kinda took the freedom to heart and got mashed a little too much. Anyway after friday nights really heavy smoke up i felt rather shit the next day. low dope levels basicly. anyway same thing tuesday after sunday n monday's pot binges. Unfortunetly it comfirmed something ive had in the back of my mind for a long long time.
On both the saturday and the tuesday and thursday i got into some rather annoying arguments with lysh. Yeah there was a reasonable reason for the arguments but the way i reacted was spiteful and nasty. It reminded me of something. Scared the shit out of me basicly. This is the exact same way i reacted the last 6 months in france. 6 months of smoking pot heavily each night because i couldnt cope with everything n so ran away like normal. Im not saying the drugs were 100% to blame but the after effect of low dope levels definetly caused me to be exetremely nasty. I do wish i could go back a few years and correct it all but i cant. At least I know exactly what gave me the push to become that person.
Anyway tonight I'm breaking the cycle. I only smoke to help me sleep but that has got to stop. its far to easy to fall into the trap of "just one more" n become an arsehole the next day. Im not saying im quiting forever, but keeping it for sundays. Keep sundays special in the words of ash n I oh and the christian church,.
On both the saturday and the tuesday and thursday i got into some rather annoying arguments with lysh. Yeah there was a reasonable reason for the arguments but the way i reacted was spiteful and nasty. It reminded me of something. Scared the shit out of me basicly. This is the exact same way i reacted the last 6 months in france. 6 months of smoking pot heavily each night because i couldnt cope with everything n so ran away like normal. Im not saying the drugs were 100% to blame but the after effect of low dope levels definetly caused me to be exetremely nasty. I do wish i could go back a few years and correct it all but i cant. At least I know exactly what gave me the push to become that person.
Anyway tonight I'm breaking the cycle. I only smoke to help me sleep but that has got to stop. its far to easy to fall into the trap of "just one more" n become an arsehole the next day. Im not saying im quiting forever, but keeping it for sundays. Keep sundays special in the words of ash n I oh and the christian church,.