i can't believe this.
i have not made an entry in this thing for almost TWO YEARS! that is fucking ridiculous. and hilarious. hilarious that i still haven't just went ahead and deleted it. i am now in my second year of college and the last time i wrote in my "LJ" i was still a senior in highschool. there was always something that i liked about livejournal. i think it's that fact that, right now, i feel sorta like i'm writing a diary entry. one that no one will probably ever see. or who knows, maybe someone like me will decide to log on to read up on old stories from their past and stumble across mine and think, "wow kasi, you thought no one would read this." haha. and if that happens, i say "hello" to that mystery person.
it's odd how a year out fo high school you really start to realize that you're younger than you were when you first started. not in a literal sense of course, but you begin to start noticing those beams of life that are coming right towards you, non stop. life is constant. it will never stop. well, obviously one day it will, but until that day there is so much for you to do. school, growing up, voting, deciding if buying that sack is really worth it and then doing it anyway, wondering what everyone else is thinking about you while at the same time pretending NOT to care. it's okay. we ALL care. thats why we go on diets, put on mascara, give that joke that we know you'll appreciate. i really don't know where i was going with that. my mind is so scattered most of the time. i find it hard sometimes to translate my thought and prove that i really do know what you're talking about. but i think most people know.
relationships. for the longest time i knew how "ready" i was. but know i start to question if i am afraid. why can't it all happen like it does in the movies? the way we invision it? the perfect romance. there are some things that happen that are even better, but for the most part, we're always waiting for the climax. no, not sexually speaking. climax being that one moment when you know that everything is in it's proper place. it's all going along according to plan. that invisible plan that we don't ever get to look at. but i guess that everything that happens is apart of the "plan".
i get so excited about the future. today is the day to start preparing yourself. i like to take everything as a learning experience and know that it will serve purpose someday.
i think i am too in my head. all the time. i feel it is restraining me from really being in the moment. i worry too much. i am always aware of EVERYTHING. at least i try to be. i don't necessarily think that is a good thing. i need to start taking things for what they are. i am so afraid of being lied to. it's hard for me to believe that people are being as genuine as they sound. however, most truly are not, but some are. i try and surround myself with the true ones. people that are fake just make me laugh. i feel sorry for them. why live a false image? thats the beauty of life...is that it's right here, in our faces. it's honest, real, and true.
it's odd how a year out fo high school you really start to realize that you're younger than you were when you first started. not in a literal sense of course, but you begin to start noticing those beams of life that are coming right towards you, non stop. life is constant. it will never stop. well, obviously one day it will, but until that day there is so much for you to do. school, growing up, voting, deciding if buying that sack is really worth it and then doing it anyway, wondering what everyone else is thinking about you while at the same time pretending NOT to care. it's okay. we ALL care. thats why we go on diets, put on mascara, give that joke that we know you'll appreciate. i really don't know where i was going with that. my mind is so scattered most of the time. i find it hard sometimes to translate my thought and prove that i really do know what you're talking about. but i think most people know.
relationships. for the longest time i knew how "ready" i was. but know i start to question if i am afraid. why can't it all happen like it does in the movies? the way we invision it? the perfect romance. there are some things that happen that are even better, but for the most part, we're always waiting for the climax. no, not sexually speaking. climax being that one moment when you know that everything is in it's proper place. it's all going along according to plan. that invisible plan that we don't ever get to look at. but i guess that everything that happens is apart of the "plan".
i get so excited about the future. today is the day to start preparing yourself. i like to take everything as a learning experience and know that it will serve purpose someday.
i think i am too in my head. all the time. i feel it is restraining me from really being in the moment. i worry too much. i am always aware of EVERYTHING. at least i try to be. i don't necessarily think that is a good thing. i need to start taking things for what they are. i am so afraid of being lied to. it's hard for me to believe that people are being as genuine as they sound. however, most truly are not, but some are. i try and surround myself with the true ones. people that are fake just make me laugh. i feel sorry for them. why live a false image? thats the beauty of life...is that it's right here, in our faces. it's honest, real, and true.