Heartbreak
This is a season of heartbreak, leaving friends of four years, the places, the life, the joy and the journey that it has been. Moving on has never been harder for me and I havent even left the place yet. I am here a few more days but with most people already left or leaving, I keep getting more and more listless and sadder as the days pass. I guess I'll break down the day I leave here. So here I am living out my last few days, at the only place away from home that I will ever be able to call home, sitting here in the chair trying to get some work done punctuated by periods of frenzied activity where I try to get everything out of my head by going off to Kol Dongri or Vihar or Sameer or just pain poor Asad with my tales. When I left home to come here, I had the exact same feeling and now its deja vu as I leave this place to go home. Added to all that is the heartbreak of the regular kind which had to happen so late that I can do nothing at all about it. Guess I have always been that way, lazy and lethargic and my heart also seems to behave the same as my head. Looking back at these four years, I realise that there was never a time when I sat around moping for someone and never even imagined myself doing that until now. It is so powerful right now that my writing it out here is only an effort to get it out of my system and get to work :(( Guess you have to listen to your heart sometimes but it is now so late that nothing good can come out of it, so I keep it all to myself (and this journal that noone reads).