God bless y'all.

Dec 13, 2010 14:53

Recently, I've more or less given up. I've given up on the writing, and so now my life has become unsustainable and irredeemable. My month of November defined by some sluggish desire for the awfully depressing truth, my December some insular acceptance of the same, my 2010 summing up with some whimper, and not much to show for two years' effort.

Reflections caught off opaque windows darkly. Where does it fit in with the march of the times? The steamroll press of everything acceptable that's all so simply unacceptable. Is working the neighborhood grocery any more or less than breaking your own heart in a broken education system? Any more or less than anything anyone of us is doing to keep from the cold night? Is everyone miserable? Are the happy ones aware? Is that the drive of modern life?--To recognize sadness in the world, look it in the face, reflections caught off opaque windows darkly; put aside for your gardening, your singular plot of beauty--your mark on the earth a carbon footprint 100 acres wide and a rose garden along the patio out back?

A football game broadcast from satellites in space. Hawking foreign cars... mobile 4G plans fit under the tree or in the stocking hung with care... just in time for Christmas... make it a Christmas to remember... Zales knows diamonds...

Alec's in Los Angeles today, texting to inform me he's about to embark on the effort to serialize the last four years of his life. All you need is an internet to bellyache into. God bless y'all.

seasonal affective disorder, fuck everything, late capitalism

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