Rocky Meh
I like cooking and everything, but it's starting to feel a little like a waste of my time.
What would I be doing tonight in Denver? Boulder?
But would I be hiking? Would I be getting back into photography?
Would I be writing like I have?
Or would the writing be better; more focused?
Would I be eating better? For working in a kitchen, I'm sure not eating much. I lost 20+ lbs in LA, and I think I'm on par to lose another 10 this summer. That takes me close to 140, which I haven't seen in five years or something, and I'm pretty sure weight loss like that isn't the healthiest. My pants are all getting a little loose around the waste, which is weird to consider, because I wear tight hipster jeans.
I took a large, sigh-kind of breath just a few moments ago, and it tasted like marijuana.
I had a dream last night that I was shaving two weeks of growth without any lather, and some woman was watching me, and I kept telling her to find me some lather, but in the end, I was just a bloody mess, having basically ripped my upper lip from my face. I woke up and looked in the mirror and there was a zit under my lip like a little herpes sore, and with sleepy eyes and a mustache, I suddenly felt afraid for myself.
Now it's too close to starting time to get a good shower and a good shave, but I'm thinking that it's time to clean up. Tonight, after shift, I'm returning my face to its former, respectable, WASPish appearance.
To consider all things, I've had a pretty manic 2009 so far. From afar it probably appears all impulse, and even up close, it kind of feels that way. There was hardly any planning involved in moving to Colorado, and even less in moving to Los Angeles. But now it's officially become the latter half of that year, and I have some goals brewing to help shape the way I see the year out. I'm enjoying the mountains, but I wish the grocery store wasn't 30 miles away. I think I'll enjoy the city, but I don't want to keep grilling Jr. sirloins for seniors ordering from the kids' menu.
What would I be doing tonight in Denver? Boulder?
But would I be hiking? Would I be getting back into photography?
Would I be writing like I have?
Or would the writing be better; more focused?
Would I be eating better? For working in a kitchen, I'm sure not eating much. I lost 20+ lbs in LA, and I think I'm on par to lose another 10 this summer. That takes me close to 140, which I haven't seen in five years or something, and I'm pretty sure weight loss like that isn't the healthiest. My pants are all getting a little loose around the waste, which is weird to consider, because I wear tight hipster jeans.
I took a large, sigh-kind of breath just a few moments ago, and it tasted like marijuana.
I had a dream last night that I was shaving two weeks of growth without any lather, and some woman was watching me, and I kept telling her to find me some lather, but in the end, I was just a bloody mess, having basically ripped my upper lip from my face. I woke up and looked in the mirror and there was a zit under my lip like a little herpes sore, and with sleepy eyes and a mustache, I suddenly felt afraid for myself.
Now it's too close to starting time to get a good shower and a good shave, but I'm thinking that it's time to clean up. Tonight, after shift, I'm returning my face to its former, respectable, WASPish appearance.
To consider all things, I've had a pretty manic 2009 so far. From afar it probably appears all impulse, and even up close, it kind of feels that way. There was hardly any planning involved in moving to Colorado, and even less in moving to Los Angeles. But now it's officially become the latter half of that year, and I have some goals brewing to help shape the way I see the year out. I'm enjoying the mountains, but I wish the grocery store wasn't 30 miles away. I think I'll enjoy the city, but I don't want to keep grilling Jr. sirloins for seniors ordering from the kids' menu.