Going Public with Sablahn
For those of you who don't know, I've been dating a girl named Sablahn since I went to Faerieworlds. We've been keeping it a secret because she was worried people she knew wouldn't accept her, especially her former girlfriend Corissa. Sablahn has had to go through an identity crisis with me being her boyfriend, since before me she was a gold-star lesbian.
Since the beginning, we've agreed that this won't be a permanent relationship. She knows that eventually she's going to end up with a girl, and I know our age difference will probably eventually lead us down different life paths.
While we're together though, it's been a hugely heart-opening experience for both of us - we connect incredibly strongly. We've both cried in each others' arms at different times, and we've taught each other so much already. I am incredibly grateful to have her in my life. The following describes the two biggest coming-out events that Sablahn has had to go through:
Sept 29, 2014:
Sablahn and I had stayed over at her and her mother's house multiple times by now, and have been rather amazed that her mother hasn't suspected that we're anything more than friends. Sablahn has been reluctant to tell her Mom because it means she's no longer a strict lesbian, and she's previously fought very hard for that.
That weekend I was helping her move out of her Mom's house, and into a small shared-studio by PSU. At one point Friday night I gave her a peck on the lips while we thought her Mom was in another room. Her Mom came in, and said "I saw that." Sablahn immediately said "You saw nothing!" "I did, I saw-" You saw Nothing!" "ok, I saw nothing (smile)"
We all continued packing for another 15 minutes, and I convinced Sablahn to just come out with it, directing her to say "So, that thing you saw, yeah, that was real". Sablahn went over to her mom, and started to say it, and her mom cut her off "I saw nothing!" It was pretty funny. 30 minutes later we all had the conversation, and her mom completely accepted everything like it was nothing. She even encouraged us to stop thinking this wasn't going to be a lasting relationship. In the following days of the move, her mom and I got along really well, and continue to.
Sablahn at this point is still very afraid of Corissa, her former girlfriend, finding out about us, because she still loves her dearly, and doesn't want anything to get in the way of their friendship.
Oct 4, 2014:
I had joined the Sex Positive Portland meetup group over the summer, and they were having their first annual slutty prom at the Velvet Rope - a sex club in downtown Portland. Since Sablahn wasn't 21, I couldn't bring her, so I invited Corissa to be my wingman. She texted me back asking if she could bring her boyfriend. This was a shock to me that she had a boyfriend, and I found out that she had been hiding him from Sablahn because Sablahn had been extremely bi-phobic at the beginning of the year. She was thinking of telling her though, because Sablahn seemed much more stable now. I found all this out via text Thursday night, and couldn't withold laughter and talking to myself in my room. Both Sablahn AND Corissa were hiding their boyfriends from each other, thinking that they wouldn't accept it! I immediately texted Sablahn that I couldn't say any more, but the opportunity to tell Corissa would present itself Saturday.
Friday I went shopping for clothes for the prom, taking Sablahn with me, and I told her a bit more - that Corissa will reveal something vulnerable about herself, and that will present the opportunity.
So, Saturday comes, and Corissa tells Sablahn, and Sablahn tells Corissa, and both are totally fine with it lol.
Since the beginning, we've agreed that this won't be a permanent relationship. She knows that eventually she's going to end up with a girl, and I know our age difference will probably eventually lead us down different life paths.
While we're together though, it's been a hugely heart-opening experience for both of us - we connect incredibly strongly. We've both cried in each others' arms at different times, and we've taught each other so much already. I am incredibly grateful to have her in my life. The following describes the two biggest coming-out events that Sablahn has had to go through:
Sept 29, 2014:
Sablahn and I had stayed over at her and her mother's house multiple times by now, and have been rather amazed that her mother hasn't suspected that we're anything more than friends. Sablahn has been reluctant to tell her Mom because it means she's no longer a strict lesbian, and she's previously fought very hard for that.
That weekend I was helping her move out of her Mom's house, and into a small shared-studio by PSU. At one point Friday night I gave her a peck on the lips while we thought her Mom was in another room. Her Mom came in, and said "I saw that." Sablahn immediately said "You saw nothing!" "I did, I saw-" You saw Nothing!" "ok, I saw nothing (smile)"
We all continued packing for another 15 minutes, and I convinced Sablahn to just come out with it, directing her to say "So, that thing you saw, yeah, that was real". Sablahn went over to her mom, and started to say it, and her mom cut her off "I saw nothing!" It was pretty funny. 30 minutes later we all had the conversation, and her mom completely accepted everything like it was nothing. She even encouraged us to stop thinking this wasn't going to be a lasting relationship. In the following days of the move, her mom and I got along really well, and continue to.
Sablahn at this point is still very afraid of Corissa, her former girlfriend, finding out about us, because she still loves her dearly, and doesn't want anything to get in the way of their friendship.
Oct 4, 2014:
I had joined the Sex Positive Portland meetup group over the summer, and they were having their first annual slutty prom at the Velvet Rope - a sex club in downtown Portland. Since Sablahn wasn't 21, I couldn't bring her, so I invited Corissa to be my wingman. She texted me back asking if she could bring her boyfriend. This was a shock to me that she had a boyfriend, and I found out that she had been hiding him from Sablahn because Sablahn had been extremely bi-phobic at the beginning of the year. She was thinking of telling her though, because Sablahn seemed much more stable now. I found all this out via text Thursday night, and couldn't withold laughter and talking to myself in my room. Both Sablahn AND Corissa were hiding their boyfriends from each other, thinking that they wouldn't accept it! I immediately texted Sablahn that I couldn't say any more, but the opportunity to tell Corissa would present itself Saturday.
Friday I went shopping for clothes for the prom, taking Sablahn with me, and I told her a bit more - that Corissa will reveal something vulnerable about herself, and that will present the opportunity.
So, Saturday comes, and Corissa tells Sablahn, and Sablahn tells Corissa, and both are totally fine with it lol.