Letting Go
I struggled with that in my last meditation. I noticed that my upper chakras were letting energy through only by a small funnel, and realized it had to do with not letting go of control. One of the things Caroly Myss talks about in her book is letting go of the illusion of control of your own life. She says: "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!" As I was struggling with opening my upper chakras, that came to mind, and helped a lot. I have had the idea that if I relinquish control, then it's not me running my life. I'm still wrestling with this idea, but in that moment I was able to let it go, and instantly the energy restriction was gone, and instead of a small funnel of energy, there was a large beam.
The idea is interesting to me right now. I've thought for a long time that we were here on earth to learn experientially, and I thought that had to do with learning from the choices we make. So if we give up our own choice and let it be God's (by listening to our body's energy), aren't we missing out on learning?
This is where Karate really has taught me a lot. I've found that it's not my choices in life that leads to my sense of fulfillment. It's the experiences themselves. I've found that it's pushing through fear that leads to a memorable and fulfilling life, and God will always take you there.
Then there's the idea that 'If it's not my choice, it's not my life.' I think I struggle with this one the most. This is a struggle with pride. Put more directly: 'If it's not my choice, I can't be proud of where I end up'. I think I'm going to be struggling with this one for a long time :(
I actually dealt with another issue of control during last night's meditation. I felt a restriction in my second chakra, and the word 'Mom' came to me. She has been in a lot of pain lately from back and shoulder issues. I keep telling her to get regular massages, and showed her how it can help during Thanksgiving. She went home and got a massage, and got scared off of them because she couldn't move the next day. I want so much for her to keep trying and get better. And that's where the chakra problem lay. I was plugged into trying to control her. Deciding to let that go was interesting. I had developed that desire so much that it felt like if I let it go, she wasn't going to get better. That somehow my wanting her to get better was the only thing that was going to make her better. While I let that restriction go, I cried a little, dealing with the sadness of her not getting better. I know mentally that my holding on to her isn't what's going to help her, but emotionally I had to deal with it. After that, I could still feel some other restrictions, but haven't yet figured them out.
The idea is interesting to me right now. I've thought for a long time that we were here on earth to learn experientially, and I thought that had to do with learning from the choices we make. So if we give up our own choice and let it be God's (by listening to our body's energy), aren't we missing out on learning?
This is where Karate really has taught me a lot. I've found that it's not my choices in life that leads to my sense of fulfillment. It's the experiences themselves. I've found that it's pushing through fear that leads to a memorable and fulfilling life, and God will always take you there.
Then there's the idea that 'If it's not my choice, it's not my life.' I think I struggle with this one the most. This is a struggle with pride. Put more directly: 'If it's not my choice, I can't be proud of where I end up'. I think I'm going to be struggling with this one for a long time :(
I actually dealt with another issue of control during last night's meditation. I felt a restriction in my second chakra, and the word 'Mom' came to me. She has been in a lot of pain lately from back and shoulder issues. I keep telling her to get regular massages, and showed her how it can help during Thanksgiving. She went home and got a massage, and got scared off of them because she couldn't move the next day. I want so much for her to keep trying and get better. And that's where the chakra problem lay. I was plugged into trying to control her. Deciding to let that go was interesting. I had developed that desire so much that it felt like if I let it go, she wasn't going to get better. That somehow my wanting her to get better was the only thing that was going to make her better. While I let that restriction go, I cried a little, dealing with the sadness of her not getting better. I know mentally that my holding on to her isn't what's going to help her, but emotionally I had to deal with it. After that, I could still feel some other restrictions, but haven't yet figured them out.