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so it's been quite awhile since i've updated this thingy. but i have a lot going on lately and i just needed to vent. so recently josh and i took a break. i made a stupid mistake during this break, but we ended up getting back together. i just need to work on drinking less and being more mature. i never really thought i was that immature to begin with, but whatever. while during our break, josh was talking to this girl he works with. not all that excited about it. well apparently she wants to be friends with me. i agreed to hang out with her tonight, and she's on her way over right now. josh made me promise him that i would be nice. honestly, i don't want to. and i dont' think that i should have to be nice to a girl in my own home when i know she wants his balls. but, i'm trying to be the better person. i don't really know what that means in this situation, but apparently that's what i'm trying to do. i'm really just doing it for josh, but whatever. i'm not too excited about it. but i guess she is afraid that i'm going to kick her ass. i would never do that, but i would verbally abuse her. i'm good at that when i'm drunk. and i only agreed to this if i could drink. which kind of doesn't make sense because i'm suppose to be drinking less. but i havent' drank in a week, when i usually drink 4-5 times a week. so i guess it's a major improvement. i just feel like i'm going to get trashed tonight and say some really mean shit. but i guess it's my house and my man, so if i feel like i need to go into defensive mode, then i will. it's kind of like in the movie mean girls when all she thinks about is jumping over the table like wild animals and kicking the shit out of the other girl. i know who will understand that whne they read this :) but i better get going because the girl will be here any minute now and i need to get in another shot before that happens. thoughts anyone?