mushing on friends.
sorry if you're on kittyling's flist and seeing this twice it's just really cute ok ;;;;
I didn't think it would be possible for me to seriously think, "I'm going to miss these people so much over break."
There aren't a ton of us, but this little Five College Family has been the best thing to happen to me socially (besides Ame and I moving in together) all year.
This past year (and a bit beyond that, even) has been pretty tough in terms of friendship for a lot of us. There's been a lot of drama and a lot of fighting and a lot of losing people I didn't see myself losing. The social circles I'm part of have had innumerable splits and it really makes me sad to think back on how different things were just a year ago. I miss how things were so badly, but I know that this is just how friendship works. It was just... a lot to happen in a year.
And even just a few months ago, I found myself feeling like Ame was pretty much the only person I could go to (and I don't know what I would have done without her.) I didn't feel connected with much of anyone, I didn't feel like I was part of a group, I didn't feel particularly important. I'd lost several friends, people I still love very much from high school had understandably drifted, and I had difficulty reaching out to other people.
And now this year, we've got this little family. A handful of nerds brought together in Western Massachusetts for school, or whatever. And I just... feel ridiculously blessed to have you guys. I look forward to more completely ridiculous parties, wonderful adventures and getting to know all you kids even better.
...there aren't actually any pictures of everyone together so here is palais' drawing which hangs on our fridge.
(in order of appearance) __kaze__, kittyling, sugar_and_synth, palais, victorien, doorknocker_dog, scanning_darkly and testsofthemuse (as "The Magon"): I seriously love the shit out of you guys and will miss you all tons over break (and victorien, until we see you again!) If any of you guys have any desire to, y'know, come back up a little early or something, we'd love to have you since I'll be here for much of break and Ame will be here for all of it! Just sayin'.
It also needs to be said that these local kids aren't the only people I've felt I've gotten closer with lately. I've been trying to be a bit better about being around for people, and better at keeping in touch. Ame and I were looking at pictures from this semester earlier today and had a monstrous wave of Miss fall all over us when we got to our pictures from our weekend in Rhode Island visiting tsunami, orgato2, knightvision, auguris and Steve. We miss you all terribly, and are very much looking forward to New Years which will also involve an amphitrite. Those still in RI should expect another visit from us soon, too.
But there are people all over that I miss and just want to be with more. In Jersey, in New York, in the midwest, in California, for a start. I wish it were easier to be with you guys, all the time. There are so many people I feel like I could get so close with if we just had more opportunities.
Okay, I'm really babbling. The point is that in spite of all the difficulty I've had with friends in the past year, I'm more comfortable socially right now than I have been in the entire time I've been going to school up here. I'm so full of love for these humans and I want to share it with them as well as everyone else I care about who's stuck by me through everything.
Just... thank you, guys. All of you. You mean the absolute world to me and I love you. That's all. ♥
edit Awww... mushy mood slightly dampered by sad Takarazuka retirement-related news. ;;____;; *sends the most massive of hugs to happy_riceball* Let's get together soon and watch a lot of Yumiko and Asako shows, okay? ;;;; ♥