sigh.
Teaspoon passed away today. Max and Liz and I buried her tonight, just outside my window.
Baby picture. From March of freshman year when I first got her.
For as much as I complained about her when I first got her, I always loved the little bugger. Sure, she smelled like pee and was dumb as a stone and chewed on the bars of her cage at all hours (until I eventually got her a tank) but she was never once mean. She tolerated my cuddles even if she didn't much enjoy them.. though I think towards the end of her life she finally realized I was a positive force and began to enjoy climbing on me more.
I'm honestly surprised she made it this long.. she toughed it out through her illness a month ago, got better for a while, took another turn for the worse a couple weeks ago but toughed it out through that one too, and then..
Liz and Max came over after a play Max and I had to see for Theater tonight, and Liz asked how Teaspoon was. And I realized.. I hadn't seen her out today. I went and lifted up her igloo, prepared for the worst as I have been every time I've had to go check on her for the past month and.. she didn't stirr from her nap to look up at me with bleary little hamham eyes like she always does. I touched her back and she was softer than ever but.. cold. Little thing even had the dignity to die nice and curled up, so I didn't have to see her face.. aside from fish and hermit crabs, I've never had to see a pet dead before, much less handle them.
It's.. actually only now hitting me, writing about it. I made her a little hammy coffin out of a shoe box, picked her up with a bunch of bedding around her and went and buried her in the flower bed outside my window. Really hope it was deep enough and I don't regret that decision come spring.. x_e
I really did adore that little fuzzy jerk. Even if I don't see myself with more hamsters in the future, I'm going to miss her so much. It was so comforting to have a furry animal presence in my apartment, even if it was just her. I hope so much that her passing was peaceful and painless.
I love you, sweet little 'Spoon. I hope wherever you are has mountains of sunflower seeds, carrots and grapes for you to fill your fat little cheeks with. Miss you so much already, butthead. ♥
Repost of me and kittyling looking derpy but professing our Teaspoon love.
This was a pretty great conclusion to three days in a row of feeling kind of crappy except for last night when I was drinking which is uh. Kind of really not good. FLCL was on adult swim tonight which was kind of nice. I'd really like to see Bolt tomorrow.. I've been looking forward to for months and from what I've heard it'll make me cry and given recent events I am really okay with that.
I hate death because I hate not having music to listen to that fits my mood, and I never have anything to listen to when stuff like this happens.
edit alright I give in I'm being a fag and listening to that one Jimmy Eat World song because dammit I need something.
Baby picture. From March of freshman year when I first got her.
For as much as I complained about her when I first got her, I always loved the little bugger. Sure, she smelled like pee and was dumb as a stone and chewed on the bars of her cage at all hours (until I eventually got her a tank) but she was never once mean. She tolerated my cuddles even if she didn't much enjoy them.. though I think towards the end of her life she finally realized I was a positive force and began to enjoy climbing on me more.
I'm honestly surprised she made it this long.. she toughed it out through her illness a month ago, got better for a while, took another turn for the worse a couple weeks ago but toughed it out through that one too, and then..
Liz and Max came over after a play Max and I had to see for Theater tonight, and Liz asked how Teaspoon was. And I realized.. I hadn't seen her out today. I went and lifted up her igloo, prepared for the worst as I have been every time I've had to go check on her for the past month and.. she didn't stirr from her nap to look up at me with bleary little hamham eyes like she always does. I touched her back and she was softer than ever but.. cold. Little thing even had the dignity to die nice and curled up, so I didn't have to see her face.. aside from fish and hermit crabs, I've never had to see a pet dead before, much less handle them.
It's.. actually only now hitting me, writing about it. I made her a little hammy coffin out of a shoe box, picked her up with a bunch of bedding around her and went and buried her in the flower bed outside my window. Really hope it was deep enough and I don't regret that decision come spring.. x_e
I really did adore that little fuzzy jerk. Even if I don't see myself with more hamsters in the future, I'm going to miss her so much. It was so comforting to have a furry animal presence in my apartment, even if it was just her. I hope so much that her passing was peaceful and painless.
I love you, sweet little 'Spoon. I hope wherever you are has mountains of sunflower seeds, carrots and grapes for you to fill your fat little cheeks with. Miss you so much already, butthead. ♥
Repost of me and kittyling looking derpy but professing our Teaspoon love.
This was a pretty great conclusion to three days in a row of feeling kind of crappy except for last night when I was drinking which is uh. Kind of really not good. FLCL was on adult swim tonight which was kind of nice. I'd really like to see Bolt tomorrow.. I've been looking forward to for months and from what I've heard it'll make me cry and given recent events I am really okay with that.
I hate death because I hate not having music to listen to that fits my mood, and I never have anything to listen to when stuff like this happens.
edit alright I give in I'm being a fag and listening to that one Jimmy Eat World song because dammit I need something.