stressing and loving me.
Oyyyyyy to the veyyyyy I'm stressing. Is there a Yiddish word for stressing? Schvitzing would work, maybe? Anyway. It's becoming clear how difficult it's going to be for me to get myself back on the right academic course. And I am stressing about it.
It started the other night when I was at India's lying awake. I remembered that I had read in Eugene Lang College's transfer documents that you have to have a full year of credits before transferring. I don't know if that means a full year of credits at the time of applying or a full year of credits at the time of transferring. I'm praying it means the latter, because if I apply before this coming spring semester is over, I'm not going to have a full year of credits because of my failed courses from last year. I'm still technically a freshman measured by credits. I need to find out from Lang what their deal is, I need to figure out how many credits I need to qualify as a sophomore, and I need to figure out how I'm going to get those credits (hopefully a winter semester course.. maybe online or something? I have no idea.)
I don't know how I thought I'd be able to transfer by next fall, because even if I do awesomely this spring, I won't have the grades to prove it until after I've applied. So I'm scared no one's going to accept me. So what am I going to do? Stay at UMass for another semester? Take another semester off? I have no idea.
Additionally, I'm getting worried about this spring. The whole point of going back to UMass this semester was to retake the classes I did poorly in so that the second grade replaces the first grade, because UMass is rad enough to have a policy like that. Here's the issue: two of the classes I want to retake aren't being offered again and one of them is completely full except for a few discussion sections that I'm not elligible for. So I only have one class I can take to replace the grade, and I highly doubt that's going to help my GPA much.
And remember how I was supposed to have a phone meeting with an advisor this morning? They logged it in wrong so there was no record of my appointment, so it's rescheduled for tomorrow. I'm going to ask if there's any way I can take a similar course at the same level as the two classes that aren't offered this semester and maybe have THOSE grades replace my old ones, because I really needed them to bring my damn GPA up.
The "everything will work out the way it's supposed to with time" mentality has only gotten me this far because, so far, I have been incredibly lucky when it comes to like.. everything. I don't know how time after time, potentially terrible situations turn out perfectly fine for me. (We got a ride home in the back of a cop car when we were high after calling an ambulance for a friend who ended up being fine, for christ's sake. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN.) I mean, it's great and all, but could this be my luck finally running out? Nothing seriously bad has happened in my life since my dog dying almost a year ago (other than breakup-chan but that's not really a luck-related thing) and I'm like.. I don't know. Part of me is scared. Things are going too well. Where are you, harsh reality? Are my stupid academic choices of last year coming back to shit on my face thanks to you? If that is the case, at least it's for something I deserve and not some freak accident. Have I mentioned I am so scared of my friends dying? Guys, please don't die in a freak accident.
Sooooo yeah. I've gotta say, I'm a bit stressy at the moment. I hope I can work something out with an advisor tomorrow to ease my worries. I know I've got a long road ahead of me to fix what I've messed up, but I'm ready for it this time. I hope.
Did I mention NYAF is this weekend and Simon's not done and Haruko's not fixed up? 6__9 I really wanted to get her damn bracelet done for this one but looks like it's stilll not happening. Good jorb, Liz.
WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS tl;dr Liz is finally appreciating the gravity of how much she fucked up last year and is now suffering due to her mistakes! Hooraaaaay.
However, in spite of all this which has been bugging me all day, right now I am smiling. Because this guy came into my store with his two little boys (the ones in that first picture) looking for a gift for a new mom whose baby he's photographing this weekend, I guess. He was really nice and handed me his card before he left, and I am so glad he did because looking at photos of Happy Children has made me quite smiley and content and warm and fuzzy. Hello, ticking biological clock. I love babbies and kidlets now even though I used to not like them. Did I mention I also love nice people? I love nice people. I love being nice to people. I may not be the pushy saleswoman that Marybeth is (good fuck I cannot stand her) but I make people smile when they come in our store and that is enough for me, thank you. PS I WANT A BABBY.
AAAAAND MOST IMPORTANTLY: HAPPY BIRTHDAY katze_utsusemi AND kittyling!! I did not realize you guys shared a birthday until like, yesterday. ANYWAY I miss both of you a great deal (particularly a certain BFF because how goddamn long has it been since we've seen each other? damn, gril!) and I wish you both only the best in your respective 21st and 20th years of being here. And I better get to see both of you soon. You guys should probably meet at some point too, I think you would like each other. Right, anyway.
Also happy first night of Hanukkah to those celebrating! We haven't even broken out the menorah yet because Hanukkah's so damn early this year, I best get on that. OY VEY. I think I'm going to get Mom a Hanukkah gift randomly.. of our Hanukkah-scented foaming gel (it's called Festival of Lights. MADE WITH REAL JEWS) and also our Crackling Firewood candle because it really smells like a fireplace. And since we have an electric fireplace now, we could light it whenever we have it going and ~pretend~. Maybe I should also get her an O, Christmas Tree candle since we have a fake tree too. Hm.
I think I'm going to go look at babby pictures again now to keep my mind off stressful things.
Edit Whoa whoa whoa. Anyone else notice the new Adult Content drop-down menu under Comment Screening? What the hell, livejournal?
It started the other night when I was at India's lying awake. I remembered that I had read in Eugene Lang College's transfer documents that you have to have a full year of credits before transferring. I don't know if that means a full year of credits at the time of applying or a full year of credits at the time of transferring. I'm praying it means the latter, because if I apply before this coming spring semester is over, I'm not going to have a full year of credits because of my failed courses from last year. I'm still technically a freshman measured by credits. I need to find out from Lang what their deal is, I need to figure out how many credits I need to qualify as a sophomore, and I need to figure out how I'm going to get those credits (hopefully a winter semester course.. maybe online or something? I have no idea.)
I don't know how I thought I'd be able to transfer by next fall, because even if I do awesomely this spring, I won't have the grades to prove it until after I've applied. So I'm scared no one's going to accept me. So what am I going to do? Stay at UMass for another semester? Take another semester off? I have no idea.
Additionally, I'm getting worried about this spring. The whole point of going back to UMass this semester was to retake the classes I did poorly in so that the second grade replaces the first grade, because UMass is rad enough to have a policy like that. Here's the issue: two of the classes I want to retake aren't being offered again and one of them is completely full except for a few discussion sections that I'm not elligible for. So I only have one class I can take to replace the grade, and I highly doubt that's going to help my GPA much.
And remember how I was supposed to have a phone meeting with an advisor this morning? They logged it in wrong so there was no record of my appointment, so it's rescheduled for tomorrow. I'm going to ask if there's any way I can take a similar course at the same level as the two classes that aren't offered this semester and maybe have THOSE grades replace my old ones, because I really needed them to bring my damn GPA up.
The "everything will work out the way it's supposed to with time" mentality has only gotten me this far because, so far, I have been incredibly lucky when it comes to like.. everything. I don't know how time after time, potentially terrible situations turn out perfectly fine for me. (We got a ride home in the back of a cop car when we were high after calling an ambulance for a friend who ended up being fine, for christ's sake. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN.) I mean, it's great and all, but could this be my luck finally running out? Nothing seriously bad has happened in my life since my dog dying almost a year ago (other than breakup-chan but that's not really a luck-related thing) and I'm like.. I don't know. Part of me is scared. Things are going too well. Where are you, harsh reality? Are my stupid academic choices of last year coming back to shit on my face thanks to you? If that is the case, at least it's for something I deserve and not some freak accident. Have I mentioned I am so scared of my friends dying? Guys, please don't die in a freak accident.
Sooooo yeah. I've gotta say, I'm a bit stressy at the moment. I hope I can work something out with an advisor tomorrow to ease my worries. I know I've got a long road ahead of me to fix what I've messed up, but I'm ready for it this time. I hope.
Did I mention NYAF is this weekend and Simon's not done and Haruko's not fixed up? 6__9 I really wanted to get her damn bracelet done for this one but looks like it's stilll not happening. Good jorb, Liz.
WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS tl;dr Liz is finally appreciating the gravity of how much she fucked up last year and is now suffering due to her mistakes! Hooraaaaay.
However, in spite of all this which has been bugging me all day, right now I am smiling. Because this guy came into my store with his two little boys (the ones in that first picture) looking for a gift for a new mom whose baby he's photographing this weekend, I guess. He was really nice and handed me his card before he left, and I am so glad he did because looking at photos of Happy Children has made me quite smiley and content and warm and fuzzy. Hello, ticking biological clock. I love babbies and kidlets now even though I used to not like them. Did I mention I also love nice people? I love nice people. I love being nice to people. I may not be the pushy saleswoman that Marybeth is (good fuck I cannot stand her) but I make people smile when they come in our store and that is enough for me, thank you. PS I WANT A BABBY.
AAAAAND MOST IMPORTANTLY: HAPPY BIRTHDAY katze_utsusemi AND kittyling!! I did not realize you guys shared a birthday until like, yesterday. ANYWAY I miss both of you a great deal (particularly a certain BFF because how goddamn long has it been since we've seen each other? damn, gril!) and I wish you both only the best in your respective 21st and 20th years of being here. And I better get to see both of you soon. You guys should probably meet at some point too, I think you would like each other. Right, anyway.
Also happy first night of Hanukkah to those celebrating! We haven't even broken out the menorah yet because Hanukkah's so damn early this year, I best get on that. OY VEY. I think I'm going to get Mom a Hanukkah gift randomly.. of our Hanukkah-scented foaming gel (it's called Festival of Lights. MADE WITH REAL JEWS) and also our Crackling Firewood candle because it really smells like a fireplace. And since we have an electric fireplace now, we could light it whenever we have it going and ~pretend~. Maybe I should also get her an O, Christmas Tree candle since we have a fake tree too. Hm.
I think I'm going to go look at babby pictures again now to keep my mind off stressful things.
Edit Whoa whoa whoa. Anyone else notice the new Adult Content drop-down menu under Comment Screening? What the hell, livejournal?