LOG: He'd Have To Be A Fool
Date: Day 8, Month 4, Turn 19 (BACKDATED)
Location: Bowl, High Reaches Weyr
Synopsis: Milani gives K'del the anticipated news: with A'son back, there'll be no more nookie. He, at least, believes that everything will work out.
Late afternoon on the 8th of the 4th month finds Milani in the bowl, kicking around and pacing back and forth. She left word with K'del earlier that they need to talk and that she'd be here after duties. So here she is, dressed down in trousers and a shirt and sweater. Pacing.
There were drills for Avalanche this afternoon, and it's from these that K'del comes to the assigned meeting time and place, windswept and alone. It's not that he /dawdles/, but realistically, most of the wing has long since dispersed before he shows up, hands slung into pockets, expression more rueful than it might usually be. "Millie," he says, when his approach brings him close enough for the soft name to be spoken.
Milani keeps her arms folded across her chest and casts a wan little smile at K'del. "Hey Kas," she says just as softly and after a moment, steps forward to slip an arm around him, hug gently. "Thanks for coming."
As Milani's arm goes about him, K'del extends his, too, squeezing gently; it is, without question, intended as nothing more than friendly. His expression edges more towards searching, considering her face intently. What he says, however, is simply, "Of course. Always would."
Milani has to smile for that but takes a deep breath, uncertainty plain on her face. "You've heard right, that A'son has come back from Ista?" she cuts to the chase, blue-green eyes lifting up to his.
"I heard." K'del hesitates after those two words for maybe slightly too long to make what he says next seem a genuine continuation. "And I'm happy for you. Know it's what you wanted." He meets her gaze squarely, a half nod marking his words, though his expression is - awkward.
Milani shakes her head slowly, swallows hard. "He won't -- or well, he hasn't really, spoken to me," the headwoman says slowly and her shoulders jitter a little, hands clasping at her elbows again. Her head stays tilted upward meeting his gaze straight on. "I don't really know where we stand Kas, him and me." Deep breath. "But I know ... it has to get figured out."
That, plainly, is not what K'del expected to hear. A weyrmating, perfect happiness, but not - that? The stunned mullet expression lasts well after his arm reaches out, to place one hand on her shoulder. "Oh, /Millie/," is what he says, then, finally. "Maybe it's just too soon. He'll come around. He loves you, remember?"
Milani's head bobs a few times and she swallows again, like maybe she's on the verge of tears. "Maybe. We'll see. He could be over me," the headwoman says with a gasped laugh and then leans forward letting her head thunk into his shoulder. "Hold me a little?" she tells his shirt. "Be the great friend you've been for the last ... how long is it now anyway? Over a turn ..." she laughs that funny little laugh again. "I just -- I won't be coming by and I'd like to ask you not to come by for sex until I get my head on straight and have this figured out."
K'del needs no further invitation, gathering her into his arms as he leans down to kiss the top of her head. "I can't know what's in his head," he tells her, then, "But I reckon he'd have to be a fool not to want you back." At least with her head buried in his shoulder like that, he can stare out over her, and let his expression show his sadness. "Always be your friend. Always be here for you, if you need me." He doesn't answer her request, except with the squeeze of his arms: of course.
Milani slowly relaxes against him, eyes closed. Eventually there's a muffled: "Thanks, Kas." After a little whlie longer, Milani tilts her head back and leans up to kiss his chin, and then very lightly on the mouth. "Can't promise anything," she says when she leans back. "I love him so much," she says with a little hiccuped breath and presses her hand over her heart. "I didn't think it would make me this crazy, him coming back."
K'del draws his arms back, letting them rest back at his sides as she kisses him - a kiss that, for once, he doesn't even try and respond to. "Don't expect you to," he tells her. "Except that you make the decision that makes you happiest." He looks - well, there sympathy there, tempered with a quiet sadness. "Guess that's what love does to people. Bet it'll get easier, though."
Milani's hand lifts and presses to K'del's cheek lightly. "You're really great, you know that?" she tells him with a sincere smile and a little less of that edginess. "It does," she says with a little nod, laughs again. "I guess it's kind of a double-edged blade. On the one side, delirious happiness! On the other, deep cuts when it doesn't ... go well."
In response, K'del reaches out his own hand, to squeeze hers. "And so are you. And if he doesn't figure that out, I'll--" Do something, clearly. His head shakes, just slightly, at the rest of what she has to say. "I'd ask if it was worth it, but there's plainly not much of a choice involved, is there? Don't just decide, one day, to fall in love."
Milani squeezes back, aims to thread her fingers through his lightly. "Don't be silly. Things just work or don't work out," the headwoman says gently and tightens her fingers a little. "It's definitely worth it to be with someone you love like that. I know you probably won't believe me, but it's just all ... better when you feel that much. Even the sex," she says with a smile and leans towards him again to bump her shoulder into his.
"It was the distance that broke you up. That's no longer a problem. Seems pretty clear cut to me." Ah, youth. K'del argues this without sounding too petulant; for the rest, he just shakes his head, as his fingers part, threading with hers. "Take your word for it, Millie. Would have to be some pretty damn incredible sex, then." For that, he manages to smile, letting his shoulder rest against hers.
"I -- thought so," Milani says slowly and goes quiet, just leaning against K'del a little, thumb absently brushing against his. "Maybe you'll be lucky enough to experience that some day. Especially since you like it so much," the headwoman says with a little grin up at him.
"I'd bet you anything," K'del tells her, letting out a soft sigh. "Just give it a few days." Though he matches her grin, he shakes his head at the rest of it. "Doubt it. Not sure I'm built for that. Prefer a simpler life. Even when it means watching other people's sunsets."
"Just have to wait and see, or well, if he doesn't come to talk to me, then I'll go to him." Milani says with a firm little nod. She laughs though at that claim and reaches up to squeeze his chin fondly. "Mmm. Maybe not built for it, but is it really simpler life, Kas? Anyway, nothing wrong with having different ways of going about things. I've never had a problem with how you live your life."
K'del's head nods his approval. "Good. Pin him down, see what's up." He grins at her laugh, her chin squeezing, but shrugs. Maybe that's the hint of something rueful in his expression - as though all of this is, perhaps, indication enough that 'simpler' is not quite the right word for it. But what he says is, "So long as we all do what makes us happy, right? Without hurting other people, wherever possible." A pause, and then: "Going to miss you."
"Right," Milani says with a little wry grin quirking up the corner of her mouth. She catches that look on his face though, smile fading a little and her hand lifts, thumb brushing lightly at his lower lip. "Exactly," she murmurs, head tilted to the side a little. "I'm not going anywhere Kas, we'll still be able to talk and hang out and everything ..."
K'del's hand reaches across, tracing lightly across her hair. "Know you're not, Millie. It's just going to be... different. Can't just go back to the way things were /before/; have to work out a new... you know, us. Dynamic. Whatever. And just because there'll be others doesn't mean I won't miss it being /you/ in my bed." But look: a smile. He's okay.
"No ..." Milani says slowly. "We can't and there's just, so much I don't know right now," she says softly, exhales and gifts him with a fond, warm smile. "Aw /Kas/, that's sweet. You do know how to make a girl feel wanted," she says with a laugh and slides her arms up around him again to offer a hug.
"But it'll work out." Still smiling. "One way or another." The fondness of her smile makes him draw in his lips for a moment, but then, he returns it, reaching in to accept that hug. He doesn't seem to know what to say in response to the rest, so he just smiles, goofy.
"One way or another," Milani agrees and gives him a squeeze, then steps back, lifts a hand to tousle those curls of his. "I'll see you, okay?"
As Milani steps back, so too does K'del, though not until after that tousle of his curls. "Definitely. And-- you know I'm always here, if you need a shoulder."
"I know," Milani says with a nod and wide smile for him. She takes a few more steps away, waves once then turns to head back into the caverns.
K'del waits until after she's gone, and then turns, heading back to Cadejoth - and soon after, to home.
Location: Bowl, High Reaches Weyr
Synopsis: Milani gives K'del the anticipated news: with A'son back, there'll be no more nookie. He, at least, believes that everything will work out.
Late afternoon on the 8th of the 4th month finds Milani in the bowl, kicking around and pacing back and forth. She left word with K'del earlier that they need to talk and that she'd be here after duties. So here she is, dressed down in trousers and a shirt and sweater. Pacing.
There were drills for Avalanche this afternoon, and it's from these that K'del comes to the assigned meeting time and place, windswept and alone. It's not that he /dawdles/, but realistically, most of the wing has long since dispersed before he shows up, hands slung into pockets, expression more rueful than it might usually be. "Millie," he says, when his approach brings him close enough for the soft name to be spoken.
Milani keeps her arms folded across her chest and casts a wan little smile at K'del. "Hey Kas," she says just as softly and after a moment, steps forward to slip an arm around him, hug gently. "Thanks for coming."
As Milani's arm goes about him, K'del extends his, too, squeezing gently; it is, without question, intended as nothing more than friendly. His expression edges more towards searching, considering her face intently. What he says, however, is simply, "Of course. Always would."
Milani has to smile for that but takes a deep breath, uncertainty plain on her face. "You've heard right, that A'son has come back from Ista?" she cuts to the chase, blue-green eyes lifting up to his.
"I heard." K'del hesitates after those two words for maybe slightly too long to make what he says next seem a genuine continuation. "And I'm happy for you. Know it's what you wanted." He meets her gaze squarely, a half nod marking his words, though his expression is - awkward.
Milani shakes her head slowly, swallows hard. "He won't -- or well, he hasn't really, spoken to me," the headwoman says slowly and her shoulders jitter a little, hands clasping at her elbows again. Her head stays tilted upward meeting his gaze straight on. "I don't really know where we stand Kas, him and me." Deep breath. "But I know ... it has to get figured out."
That, plainly, is not what K'del expected to hear. A weyrmating, perfect happiness, but not - that? The stunned mullet expression lasts well after his arm reaches out, to place one hand on her shoulder. "Oh, /Millie/," is what he says, then, finally. "Maybe it's just too soon. He'll come around. He loves you, remember?"
Milani's head bobs a few times and she swallows again, like maybe she's on the verge of tears. "Maybe. We'll see. He could be over me," the headwoman says with a gasped laugh and then leans forward letting her head thunk into his shoulder. "Hold me a little?" she tells his shirt. "Be the great friend you've been for the last ... how long is it now anyway? Over a turn ..." she laughs that funny little laugh again. "I just -- I won't be coming by and I'd like to ask you not to come by for sex until I get my head on straight and have this figured out."
K'del needs no further invitation, gathering her into his arms as he leans down to kiss the top of her head. "I can't know what's in his head," he tells her, then, "But I reckon he'd have to be a fool not to want you back." At least with her head buried in his shoulder like that, he can stare out over her, and let his expression show his sadness. "Always be your friend. Always be here for you, if you need me." He doesn't answer her request, except with the squeeze of his arms: of course.
Milani slowly relaxes against him, eyes closed. Eventually there's a muffled: "Thanks, Kas." After a little whlie longer, Milani tilts her head back and leans up to kiss his chin, and then very lightly on the mouth. "Can't promise anything," she says when she leans back. "I love him so much," she says with a little hiccuped breath and presses her hand over her heart. "I didn't think it would make me this crazy, him coming back."
K'del draws his arms back, letting them rest back at his sides as she kisses him - a kiss that, for once, he doesn't even try and respond to. "Don't expect you to," he tells her. "Except that you make the decision that makes you happiest." He looks - well, there sympathy there, tempered with a quiet sadness. "Guess that's what love does to people. Bet it'll get easier, though."
Milani's hand lifts and presses to K'del's cheek lightly. "You're really great, you know that?" she tells him with a sincere smile and a little less of that edginess. "It does," she says with a little nod, laughs again. "I guess it's kind of a double-edged blade. On the one side, delirious happiness! On the other, deep cuts when it doesn't ... go well."
In response, K'del reaches out his own hand, to squeeze hers. "And so are you. And if he doesn't figure that out, I'll--" Do something, clearly. His head shakes, just slightly, at the rest of what she has to say. "I'd ask if it was worth it, but there's plainly not much of a choice involved, is there? Don't just decide, one day, to fall in love."
Milani squeezes back, aims to thread her fingers through his lightly. "Don't be silly. Things just work or don't work out," the headwoman says gently and tightens her fingers a little. "It's definitely worth it to be with someone you love like that. I know you probably won't believe me, but it's just all ... better when you feel that much. Even the sex," she says with a smile and leans towards him again to bump her shoulder into his.
"It was the distance that broke you up. That's no longer a problem. Seems pretty clear cut to me." Ah, youth. K'del argues this without sounding too petulant; for the rest, he just shakes his head, as his fingers part, threading with hers. "Take your word for it, Millie. Would have to be some pretty damn incredible sex, then." For that, he manages to smile, letting his shoulder rest against hers.
"I -- thought so," Milani says slowly and goes quiet, just leaning against K'del a little, thumb absently brushing against his. "Maybe you'll be lucky enough to experience that some day. Especially since you like it so much," the headwoman says with a little grin up at him.
"I'd bet you anything," K'del tells her, letting out a soft sigh. "Just give it a few days." Though he matches her grin, he shakes his head at the rest of it. "Doubt it. Not sure I'm built for that. Prefer a simpler life. Even when it means watching other people's sunsets."
"Just have to wait and see, or well, if he doesn't come to talk to me, then I'll go to him." Milani says with a firm little nod. She laughs though at that claim and reaches up to squeeze his chin fondly. "Mmm. Maybe not built for it, but is it really simpler life, Kas? Anyway, nothing wrong with having different ways of going about things. I've never had a problem with how you live your life."
K'del's head nods his approval. "Good. Pin him down, see what's up." He grins at her laugh, her chin squeezing, but shrugs. Maybe that's the hint of something rueful in his expression - as though all of this is, perhaps, indication enough that 'simpler' is not quite the right word for it. But what he says is, "So long as we all do what makes us happy, right? Without hurting other people, wherever possible." A pause, and then: "Going to miss you."
"Right," Milani says with a little wry grin quirking up the corner of her mouth. She catches that look on his face though, smile fading a little and her hand lifts, thumb brushing lightly at his lower lip. "Exactly," she murmurs, head tilted to the side a little. "I'm not going anywhere Kas, we'll still be able to talk and hang out and everything ..."
K'del's hand reaches across, tracing lightly across her hair. "Know you're not, Millie. It's just going to be... different. Can't just go back to the way things were /before/; have to work out a new... you know, us. Dynamic. Whatever. And just because there'll be others doesn't mean I won't miss it being /you/ in my bed." But look: a smile. He's okay.
"No ..." Milani says slowly. "We can't and there's just, so much I don't know right now," she says softly, exhales and gifts him with a fond, warm smile. "Aw /Kas/, that's sweet. You do know how to make a girl feel wanted," she says with a laugh and slides her arms up around him again to offer a hug.
"But it'll work out." Still smiling. "One way or another." The fondness of her smile makes him draw in his lips for a moment, but then, he returns it, reaching in to accept that hug. He doesn't seem to know what to say in response to the rest, so he just smiles, goofy.
"One way or another," Milani agrees and gives him a squeeze, then steps back, lifts a hand to tousle those curls of his. "I'll see you, okay?"
As Milani steps back, so too does K'del, though not until after that tousle of his curls. "Definitely. And-- you know I'm always here, if you need a shoulder."
"I know," Milani says with a nod and wide smile for him. She takes a few more steps away, waves once then turns to head back into the caverns.
K'del waits until after she's gone, and then turns, heading back to Cadejoth - and soon after, to home.