ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, drop your pants, and slide on the ice.
once again, i wept. and wept. and wept. the same song, the same show, the same laugh and smile, brings me to tears every time. and every time it is a fresh and new beautiful cleansing human experience.
in a simple frame of mind i asked myself, "why does God allow us to suffer such deep despair and heart lurching?"
out of pure as sugarcane curiosity, i wondered the point of it all. to test us, perhaps. maybe thats the coward and the weak trying to feel brave or strong, telling themselves that. to show us there are people worse off, the pessimists' answer. because he can and loves to see us squirm...the crass and the alan's answer.
i have suffered. i have experienced such pain that i would have rather my skin lept from my body...it would have felt better. or have my breasts taken off, to give to someone else to deal with. or have my brain disected, and have my knees crumble when it left my skull. but maybe the agony isnt enough. i have prayed for suffering so that i might not skim through life without feeling despair...and leaving the rest of the world to do it for me. i have been scared that i feel too much gladness...and there is not enough...weeping.
and when it comes, it comes with peace. with a ton of pain, sometimes blood and sweat, and a huge ache in my chest that not even he could cure, being the chest expert in more than one way. he knows my heart better than anyone, and doesnt know it. but...it feels better afterward. i feel such a light lift on my soul...when i think of a friend, long gone from their mind, but im still behind thinking of the time we did that one thing in the place...only we knew.
my shoulders always lean forward. my head falls down, and my fingers become loose...i wait for a spirit to grab my hand. sometimes i feel it, sometimes not. i can feel my face, more soft, more real to me. im aware that my eyes are closed, that my fingertips...feel things. breaths come like im drowning. and cant get enough air...not enough oxygen to my brain. but i still breathe, and oxygen comes, feeding the thoughts causing my shoulders to lean forward, and the circle has no beginning.
i like the warm soft water that falls from my eyes. crying is when you dont know youre crying. you just feel awful and that is all you know. but i remember what it feels like...to have your heart scream. so the water...comes from your eyes, in a gentle fall...to your lips...and you taste...the screams of your own heart. salty, sometimes with makeup or moisturizer. or to smile at the same time because you know this moment will never come again. and you feel, like all you need is a human body to embrace. and the pain would go away.
i said goodbye, and hello, with tears of joy and sorrow. both of which i had never known such strength. the moment passed, and i havent seen her in over a year. ill be dead when i see her again. gone forever from my life, i can still taste her, feel her kiss still burning on my lips. one year ago.......................one year. and he...was in a cool place, that felt warm from my face, while my body shivered with emotion. im sure that in the future they will haunt me, and i will find these nights something that must happen. to help me remember, the kind of feelings i had. that were so strong, id give my life for another living being's happiness.
i found my answer to the question.
i dont think there needs to be a reason. just let yourself feel it. let it happen.
sometimes the heart really needs to scream. and your lips need to taste the water from your eyes.
in a simple frame of mind i asked myself, "why does God allow us to suffer such deep despair and heart lurching?"
out of pure as sugarcane curiosity, i wondered the point of it all. to test us, perhaps. maybe thats the coward and the weak trying to feel brave or strong, telling themselves that. to show us there are people worse off, the pessimists' answer. because he can and loves to see us squirm...the crass and the alan's answer.
i have suffered. i have experienced such pain that i would have rather my skin lept from my body...it would have felt better. or have my breasts taken off, to give to someone else to deal with. or have my brain disected, and have my knees crumble when it left my skull. but maybe the agony isnt enough. i have prayed for suffering so that i might not skim through life without feeling despair...and leaving the rest of the world to do it for me. i have been scared that i feel too much gladness...and there is not enough...weeping.
and when it comes, it comes with peace. with a ton of pain, sometimes blood and sweat, and a huge ache in my chest that not even he could cure, being the chest expert in more than one way. he knows my heart better than anyone, and doesnt know it. but...it feels better afterward. i feel such a light lift on my soul...when i think of a friend, long gone from their mind, but im still behind thinking of the time we did that one thing in the place...only we knew.
my shoulders always lean forward. my head falls down, and my fingers become loose...i wait for a spirit to grab my hand. sometimes i feel it, sometimes not. i can feel my face, more soft, more real to me. im aware that my eyes are closed, that my fingertips...feel things. breaths come like im drowning. and cant get enough air...not enough oxygen to my brain. but i still breathe, and oxygen comes, feeding the thoughts causing my shoulders to lean forward, and the circle has no beginning.
i like the warm soft water that falls from my eyes. crying is when you dont know youre crying. you just feel awful and that is all you know. but i remember what it feels like...to have your heart scream. so the water...comes from your eyes, in a gentle fall...to your lips...and you taste...the screams of your own heart. salty, sometimes with makeup or moisturizer. or to smile at the same time because you know this moment will never come again. and you feel, like all you need is a human body to embrace. and the pain would go away.
i said goodbye, and hello, with tears of joy and sorrow. both of which i had never known such strength. the moment passed, and i havent seen her in over a year. ill be dead when i see her again. gone forever from my life, i can still taste her, feel her kiss still burning on my lips. one year ago.......................one year. and he...was in a cool place, that felt warm from my face, while my body shivered with emotion. im sure that in the future they will haunt me, and i will find these nights something that must happen. to help me remember, the kind of feelings i had. that were so strong, id give my life for another living being's happiness.
i found my answer to the question.
i dont think there needs to be a reason. just let yourself feel it. let it happen.
sometimes the heart really needs to scream. and your lips need to taste the water from your eyes.