stress is fun!
Ah, public journal security. Do I lock entries like these down and put something closer to what I'm actually feeling in them or do I leave them open and keep my comments intentionally vague? I suppose it's obvious which one this is.
I think part of my issue with this project, and the one that keeps me from making meaningful progress on it, is fear. Fear that this will require skills that I feel have dulled; that any attempte I make at it will be half-assed and worthless. Despite knowing that not doing it is actually about a thousand times worse. Really, once I get into it I will have so many fewer problems. It's the getting into it that is so fucking hard.
When I have a million things going on, it is easy to prioritize tasks that I enjoy more. So easy, in fact, that I can push any single odious thing back indefinitely.
I've started making lists in the hope that if I can break it down into more manageable chunks, I can more easily start completling parts of it.
Goddamn it.
I think part of my issue with this project, and the one that keeps me from making meaningful progress on it, is fear. Fear that this will require skills that I feel have dulled; that any attempte I make at it will be half-assed and worthless. Despite knowing that not doing it is actually about a thousand times worse. Really, once I get into it I will have so many fewer problems. It's the getting into it that is so fucking hard.
When I have a million things going on, it is easy to prioritize tasks that I enjoy more. So easy, in fact, that I can push any single odious thing back indefinitely.
I've started making lists in the hope that if I can break it down into more manageable chunks, I can more easily start completling parts of it.
Goddamn it.