(no subject)
it started with sadness and shock.
after that, there was anger and loneliness.
the desperation for willingness and forgiveness is
inevitable.
moments later, a person becomes numb.
numb to emotions, pasttimes, l-i-v-i-n-g.
the time it takes for each step can't be told, as it varies
from one human being to the next.
:there is this smile that is pointing to stay strong
and its fucking rediculously beautiful:
i'm learning, learning, learning.
living for myself.
finding inspiration, finding beauty, comfort,
without worrying about security
i always fear the unknown,
with a rapidly high frequency.
I'm sick of watching everything pass by.
it feels good to notice things, instead
of just not give a fuck.
i love you, whomever you are.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i started another job on tuesday. this nice coffeehouse in michigan city.
im learning quickly, but i get nervous when there are customers
because i feel like i don't want them to actually look at, me.
i wish i were invisible.
I'm running on no self-esteem, extremely high anxiety and
the occasional pk to get me settled.
many people who i know are over-emotional and over-dramatic.
i am slowly deleting them from my life because i really can't
take it anymore. i'm sick of being stuck in a fucking secluded
hole filled with piles upon piles of dirt and worms and mud
and guts. i don't care about run-on sentences, or capitalization
or icky love bullshit, or using the word or four times before
i have written the word "donkey". i am
making sure to tell the people that i love how i feel,
and trying to show someone how amazing he/she really is, just
by interacting with him/her.
i think its working.
i hope its working.
if its not working,
time for another, or none at all.
after that, there was anger and loneliness.
the desperation for willingness and forgiveness is
inevitable.
moments later, a person becomes numb.
numb to emotions, pasttimes, l-i-v-i-n-g.
the time it takes for each step can't be told, as it varies
from one human being to the next.
:there is this smile that is pointing to stay strong
and its fucking rediculously beautiful:
i'm learning, learning, learning.
living for myself.
finding inspiration, finding beauty, comfort,
without worrying about security
i always fear the unknown,
with a rapidly high frequency.
I'm sick of watching everything pass by.
it feels good to notice things, instead
of just not give a fuck.
i love you, whomever you are.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i started another job on tuesday. this nice coffeehouse in michigan city.
im learning quickly, but i get nervous when there are customers
because i feel like i don't want them to actually look at, me.
i wish i were invisible.
I'm running on no self-esteem, extremely high anxiety and
the occasional pk to get me settled.
many people who i know are over-emotional and over-dramatic.
i am slowly deleting them from my life because i really can't
take it anymore. i'm sick of being stuck in a fucking secluded
hole filled with piles upon piles of dirt and worms and mud
and guts. i don't care about run-on sentences, or capitalization
or icky love bullshit, or using the word or four times before
i have written the word "donkey". i am
making sure to tell the people that i love how i feel,
and trying to show someone how amazing he/she really is, just
by interacting with him/her.
i think its working.
i hope its working.
if its not working,
time for another, or none at all.