FAKE: ...And How To Find Happily Ever After
Summary: Finishing the fairy tale: Dee's turn.
Notes: The sequel to One Fairy Tale, Very Freely Adapted. Still unbeta'd fluff.
...AND HOW TO FIND HAPPILY EVER AFTER
*
Once upon a time --
(Shut up, you're the one who told me it had to start that way.)
Once upon a time, there was another handsome prince. (Now who's snickering?) Maybe it was easier to be a prince than it used to be, or at least easier to call yourself a prince, how the hell should I know. Not like it mattered, because he still had to go out and make his fortune.
So he wandered around, and did prince-stuff for a while. (Yeah, 'prince-stuff.' How would I know what princes did? You're the one who goes and looks things up for a fairy tale. Hunting dragons and rescuing virgins, I guess.) He looked for treasure, and learned how to use a, uh, sword. And finally he heard about this giant hedge.
See, it had been a long time since that hedge had grown -- a hundred years at least -- and even longer since anyone had tried to go to the castle behind it. So mostly everyone had forgotten there was a castle there, much less maybe anyone still inside the castle. But the prince I'm talking about, this story about a giant hedge got him curious, and he went to look.
It was beautiful.
(The castle. Your prince was still asleep on the floor, remember? Not like my prince could even see. Then again, this is a fairy tale, so maybe he just knew somehow. Your pick.)
So the next day he went back again, and went all the way around the hedge. Then the next day he came back with an ax, and started chopping at the hedge. Didn't get him too far, because it was a magical hedge, but at least it thinned it a little bit. Tried a saw, and another ax, and hedge-trimmers, and another saw, and another ax, and maybe around here he got kinda exasperated and started just yelling at it.
At which point someone said, "Excuse me?" from a window.
(Mmmm. No, wait, let me see if I can get this right. Not that this - I know I can get that right -- lemme see if I can finish off the story at least kinda right. It's fun. And if I get it right, then... Heh. I ever tell you you're cute when you blush, Ryo?)
So the conversation goes sorta like this:
"Excuse me?"
"What's with the fucking hedge? Not very neighborly." (He would so have said that, c'mon.)
"I wasn't trying to be neighborly."
"Then you should try harder. Come down here."
"No, thank you."
"I'm bleeding from the thorns, and that's all you've got?"
"It's your own fault. ...I've a handkerchief if you really need something."
"Bring it down."
"I shouldn't."
"Why not?"
"Because...because I was just asleep, and I don't want to fall."
"Exercise will be good for you." (Mmmph. I didn't even mean like that, but if you want -- okay, okay, I'll finish it first. Jeez.)
"So I've heard. Very well, I'll come down."
So the prince, the one behind the thorns, vanished from the window, and the prince caught in the thorns sat there and waited what felt like forever. But next thing he knew, a handkerchief was poking through the thorns. "Here."
My prince took it, except then he saw the finger that had caught the spindle. "Hang on, you need it worse than I do."
"It's fine."
"No, it's not. It needs cleaning." And the prince took the finger...and put it into his mouth...
(...Jesus, Ryo, you're killing me. How'm I supposed to finish the story with you looking like that? 'Try harder,' ha ha, very funny. Right.)
So maybe the captive prince was looking all helpless, and maybe he was looking all sweet and romantic, or maybe he was just panting and flushed like someone else I could mention. But the other prince wasn't curious any more. He just wanted the hedge down, and he didn't give a shit about the thorns. So he leaned forward, and kissed him.
(The end, happily ever after. Or something like that. Come kiss me, sweetheart.)
(Yeah. Love you too.)
-the end (definitely)-
Notes: The sequel to One Fairy Tale, Very Freely Adapted. Still unbeta'd fluff.
...AND HOW TO FIND HAPPILY EVER AFTER
*
Once upon a time --
(Shut up, you're the one who told me it had to start that way.)
Once upon a time, there was another handsome prince. (Now who's snickering?) Maybe it was easier to be a prince than it used to be, or at least easier to call yourself a prince, how the hell should I know. Not like it mattered, because he still had to go out and make his fortune.
So he wandered around, and did prince-stuff for a while. (Yeah, 'prince-stuff.' How would I know what princes did? You're the one who goes and looks things up for a fairy tale. Hunting dragons and rescuing virgins, I guess.) He looked for treasure, and learned how to use a, uh, sword. And finally he heard about this giant hedge.
See, it had been a long time since that hedge had grown -- a hundred years at least -- and even longer since anyone had tried to go to the castle behind it. So mostly everyone had forgotten there was a castle there, much less maybe anyone still inside the castle. But the prince I'm talking about, this story about a giant hedge got him curious, and he went to look.
It was beautiful.
(The castle. Your prince was still asleep on the floor, remember? Not like my prince could even see. Then again, this is a fairy tale, so maybe he just knew somehow. Your pick.)
So the next day he went back again, and went all the way around the hedge. Then the next day he came back with an ax, and started chopping at the hedge. Didn't get him too far, because it was a magical hedge, but at least it thinned it a little bit. Tried a saw, and another ax, and hedge-trimmers, and another saw, and another ax, and maybe around here he got kinda exasperated and started just yelling at it.
At which point someone said, "Excuse me?" from a window.
(Mmmm. No, wait, let me see if I can get this right. Not that this - I know I can get that right -- lemme see if I can finish off the story at least kinda right. It's fun. And if I get it right, then... Heh. I ever tell you you're cute when you blush, Ryo?)
So the conversation goes sorta like this:
"Excuse me?"
"What's with the fucking hedge? Not very neighborly." (He would so have said that, c'mon.)
"I wasn't trying to be neighborly."
"Then you should try harder. Come down here."
"No, thank you."
"I'm bleeding from the thorns, and that's all you've got?"
"It's your own fault. ...I've a handkerchief if you really need something."
"Bring it down."
"I shouldn't."
"Why not?"
"Because...because I was just asleep, and I don't want to fall."
"Exercise will be good for you." (Mmmph. I didn't even mean like that, but if you want -- okay, okay, I'll finish it first. Jeez.)
"So I've heard. Very well, I'll come down."
So the prince, the one behind the thorns, vanished from the window, and the prince caught in the thorns sat there and waited what felt like forever. But next thing he knew, a handkerchief was poking through the thorns. "Here."
My prince took it, except then he saw the finger that had caught the spindle. "Hang on, you need it worse than I do."
"It's fine."
"No, it's not. It needs cleaning." And the prince took the finger...and put it into his mouth...
(...Jesus, Ryo, you're killing me. How'm I supposed to finish the story with you looking like that? 'Try harder,' ha ha, very funny. Right.)
So maybe the captive prince was looking all helpless, and maybe he was looking all sweet and romantic, or maybe he was just panting and flushed like someone else I could mention. But the other prince wasn't curious any more. He just wanted the hedge down, and he didn't give a shit about the thorns. So he leaned forward, and kissed him.
(The end, happily ever after. Or something like that. Come kiss me, sweetheart.)
(Yeah. Love you too.)
-the end (definitely)-