Blaine is an Idiot
Title: Blaine is an Idiot!
Author: ducttapeofdoom
Pairing,Character(s): Kurtofsky, Puck/Chandler
Rating: T
Word Count:
Spoilers: Up to ‘Dance With Somebody’
Summary: Puck takes offense to Blaine’s accusation about Kurt’s texts with Chandler…
Blaine is an Idiot!
Dude, Kurt cheated on Blaine…with some guy named Chandler.
Puck looked at the text message from Finn in shock. Kurt would never cheat on Blaine; Puck knew it for a fact. He thought back to an incident over the summer where Puck had come onto the other teen after a bad fight with his mom. And he had done it again after Sectionals when Shelby had told him that she was moving again. Both times Kurt had just held Puck while he cried.
Puck refused to answer the text from Finn and instead sent one off to someone he knew would be interested in this. So Blaine is an idiot. Apparently your boy met my boy and they hit it off, just like we knew they would. I don’t know why, but Blaine thinks Kurt is cheating on him.
The reply was almost instantaneous. I always knew he was an idiot. Especially after the way he was dancing with Smythe at Scandals.
Puck snorted. He wasn’t surprised, not really. He had working eyes and could see the way that the Dalton douche looked at Blaine. And the way Blaine had looked back at Sebastian. Why don’t the two of you come down to the school tomorrow and visit?
Gotta ask Chandler, but I’m sure he’d be willing to blow off school for the day. Be there before Glee gets out.
XxXxX
The next day, Puck was waiting outside while Glee started. He had seen the tension between Kurt and Blaine and he couldn’t help but mutter under his breath about the idiocy of Blaine. Naturally, he didn’t think Blaine had the same reason for being sure that Kurt would never cheat on him. After all, Puck was 98% sure that Kurt had not told Blaine about Puck coming onto him. Puck was sure that if he had, Blaine wouldn’t be as comfortable around the senior as he was. He straightened from the slouch he had adopted when a familiar truck pulled into one of the visitor parking spots.
Dave and a blond boy that Puck was friendly with through his connection to Dave climbed out of the truck. Chandler grinned widely when he saw Puck and he bounced over to the football player and he hugged the Mohawked boy tightly.
Dave could see the soft smile on Puck’s face as he hugged Chandler. Dave wondered if Puck had any idea that he obviously had feelings for the blond. He shook himself mentally and walked over to Puck, clapping him on the shoulder as soon as Puck reluctantly released Chandler.
Puck gave Dave a bro-hug before the three of them moved into the building. He couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Chandler look around the school, taking in the various posters that were hanging on the walls. He got a confused look on his face when he noticed a poster about a fruit sculpture club.
As they got closer to the choir room, they could hear Blaine’s voice within the room. “This is for everyone who has ever been cheated on.”
Dave couldn’t help the sappy smile as he heard the annoyance in Kurt’s response. “This is insane. I didn’t cheat on you!” He couldn’t help the snort at one of Brittany’s off-hand comments. He wanted to storm into the choir room and snap at Blaine as soon as the song started but was held back by Puck’s whisper.
“No Dude. Let him get this out, it’ll make him seem more irrational when we tell the truth.”
Neither Dave nor Chandler could believe that those that were supposed to be Kurt’s friends were providing backup vocals to Blaine’s insane jealous freak out. Puck, however, didn’t seem surprised.
Puck stood from leaning against the wall when the song ended and Blaine apparently tried to do a storm out. Puck simply stood in the younger teen’s way and raised an eyebrow in a very Kurt-like manner. “Back inside Hobbit,” he snapped, walking forward so Blaine had no choice.
“Noah, what are you doing?” Kurt asked, standing up as he watched his friend herd his boyfriend back inside after what would have proved to be a Rachel Berry circa sophomore year worthy storm out.
Puck ignored Kurt for a moment and just backed Blaine up until he was in front of a chair. “Sit down.” He waited for Blaine to sit down before backing up until he was in the middle of the room. “You’re an idiot,” he stated. “Kurt would never cheat on you. I know because I’ve hit on him twice since you started dating and nothing! I’m a sex shark, who wouldn’t want this?” he asked arrogantly, indicating his body with his hands. He wisely decided to ignore the surprised looks on the rest of the club’s faces. “However, a few flirty texts does not mean cheating.”
Blaine glared at Puck. “How would you know how flirty they are?” he snapped.
Puck just stared back at the shorter boy, eyebrow raised in challenge. “Because he sends me the exact same ones all the time.” He turned his head towards the door. “Come on in guys,” he called.
Dave and Chandler walked through the door, Dave being attacked by a happy Brittany within moments of seeing him. Dave nodded at those that he knew even as Chandler waved happily at Kurt, enjoying the look of anger on Blaine’s face.
Puck herded the two so that they were standing beside him. “Everyone, I’m sure you remember Dave Karofsky.” He gave Dave’s full name so that those that were new would know who he was. “And…this is Chandler Kiehl.”
Dave spoke up after finally being released by Brittany. “Chandler was the first person to offer to be my friend after I transferred to North Lima. And he spent the first three weeks flirting outrageously with me. It’s just the way his personality works.”
Puck reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He opened up his text history and showed it to Blaine, knowing that at least a couple of the texts from Chandler would be similar to the ones the blond had sent to Kurt. “See?” he asked blandly.
Dave could see the comprehension dawn on Blaine’s face and pulled out his own phone and did the same as Puck. He then ‘accidentally’ opened a text from Sebastian in front of Blaine and watched Blaine’s face darken.
“Why the hell is Sebastian sending you texts like that?” Blaine exploded, snatching the phone from Dave’s hand and reading the history.
Dave made a valiant effort to not look at Kurt at this moment. “So you do have feelings for Smythe,” he stated. “I thought you did by the way you were dancing with him, completely ignoring your boyfriend except for a couple glances. I watched you that night, you know. I saw you grope Sebastian,” he hissed, “every time Kurt’s back was turned, you were groping another guy. I was willing to step aside when I thought you made him happy, but all I can see is you making Kurt miserable.” He crossed his arms defensively, turning to Kurt. “What did he get you?” he asked, not having to say more to get his point across.
“He sang a song dedicated to all the lovers and a card,” Kurt said, confusion in his voice at the turn of events.
Dave made a disgusted noise. “In case anyone is unaware, Bland was not the one to send all those Valentine’s Day gifts to Kurt, including the Gorilla Gram. I was. I was the shmuck in the suit delivering the balloons and stuffed monkey that day during lunch. I spent the week making Kurt feel good about himself and this jackass,” he pointed at Blaine, “didn’t do more than sing and give him a card.” He suddenly smirked, looking every inch the Karofsky of early junior year. “However, I know for a fact that he sent Sebastian flowers and a mix cd of Blaine’s favorite music. Gotta say dude,” he directed at Blaine, “the amount of Hanson on that thing made me cringe.”
At that moment, Kurt knew that Dave was telling the truth. It wasn’t common knowledge that Blaine’s favorite group was Hanson, what with Blaine’s obsession with singing Katy Perry songs. And the video for Katy’s “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)” was the perfect combination of his two favorite obsessions with the brother’s appearing during the party scene.
Blaine could immediately see that Kurt was listening to Dave and he had to immediately backpedal in an effort to salvage his relationship. “Kurt, babe…” he tried to cajole his boyfriend but was stopped by Kurt’s ‘bitch glare’.
“No Blaine Anderson. I was willing to look past most of your misdeeds, but this! This I cannot overlook. Just why were you so willing to believe that I was cheating?” he demanded. “I’ve found from watching the soap opera that is this club over the past three years that only those that are cheating or are open to it are the ones that suspect that their girl/boyfriend are cheating. So tell me Blaine, just what do you feel for Sebastian?”
Blaine’s sputtering and blushes told the others more than any words would have. Kurt just seemed to nod stoically and pointedly grabbed his bag and moved it next to Sam. Blaine’s eyes narrowed at the slightly smug look on Dave’s face and he growled loudly and launched himself at Dave.
As if that was a prearranged signal, the choir room erupted into movement. Most of the girls could be seen shrieking on the sidelines as Puck, Sam, and Finn tried to keep Blaine away from Dave while at the same time, getting in unnoticed hits on the ex-Warbler. When they had managed to get Blaine back into his seat, he had somehow acquired a bloody nose and a cut above his eyebrow.
Chandler just cocked an eyebrow at Kurt who shook his head in response. Chandler smiled softly and hugged Kurt tightly, causing Blaine to attempt to jump out of his seat again. Kurt accepted the hug for a moment before stepping out of the embrace to stand directly in front of his boy-ex-boyfriend. “Now you listen to me Blaine Joseph Anderson. We are done! We will not speak except for Glee rehearsals and as soon as I step out that door, you better forget my number. You even attempt to speak with me again and I will let my father deal with you. After all, he knows everything you’ve done and said to me since we met,” Kurt said, smirking at the way Blaine’s face paled. Burt actually did know everything and had only kept his cool for Kurt’s sake. He then turned to Dave and Chandler, the former minutely wilting under his gaze. “You two however, are welcome over at any time and have permission to text and call at any time.” He looked over at Sam, who immediately jumped up with his bag in hand. “Mr. Schuester, I’m sure you’ll understand if I must excuse myself for the rest of the day. Boys,” he said, turning to what he affectionately called his harem in his mind. He walked out the door, quickly followed by Puck, Dave, Sam and Chandler.
“Fuck!” Blaine yelled, stalking off in the other direction.
“That was so hot,” Brittany breathed against Santana’s shoulder, her head resting on her girlfriend’s.
“Get it Prancy!” Santana yelled after the retreating gaggle of boys.
Tina couldn’t help the relieved smile on her face. “Finally. The real Kurt is back,” she whispered.
FIN