Fic: Bound by a New Life - 15/?
Title: Bound by a New Life - 15/?
Rating: R
Pairing: Dave Karofsky / Kurt Hummel
Summary: Kurt Hummel and Dave Karofsky were abruptly rescued after months of captivity. Adjusting to their new lives would not be an easy task for either.
Warnings: References to past non-con.
"I feel like I'm not worth anything," Dave said honestly. It felt weird to say such harsh words in such a detached manner but he felt detached. He was trying and Kurt was trying to help him, but he'd fallen into something that felt a mile deep. He was having flashbacks and just had collapsed into himself. He wasn't sure what to do. He was scared and he wanted out of the psychosis that he was in so that he and Kurt could go on with actually building up their lives. "If it wasn't for Kurt…"
The psychiatrist looked through her old notes and then into his eyes. "If it wasn't for Kurt then you wouldn't have value," she repeated. "I believe that's a paraphrased version of what you told me the man who kidnapped you said. Do you think that maybe you've suddenly started reiterating his words?"
Dave nodded blankly. That was exactly what he was doing, but he couldn't really find it in himself to stop, as pathetic as that truly was. "Of course I am," he said softly. "I just don't get why I'm feeling so awful right now. I feel like…like I did when I was back home before all of this, so angry and afraid that people were going to find out that I was gay. Now I'm angry and afraid that I'll never be good enough for Kurt because he's…perfect…"
"David…"
"Why does he get to control my life when he's rotting in a prison cell?" Dave asked, looking up at her. "I just don't understand it…"
The rest of the therapy session was rather quiet, Dave withdrawn. He was just so tired of other people controlling his life. There had always been someone else holding the steering wheel in his life. He was conflicted for years because of his sexuality and the influence of high school and now that he was free from that, there were so many other things controlling him. He wanted to be better but he was honestly helpless.
His therapist did give him many words of wisdom, but he ignored most of them. When his father finally took him home from the session, however, one of her pieces of advice did stick with him. She told him to focus on something that he loved but never gave himself a chance to try before. She told him that if he put his mind in a good place, it would help him alleviate the symptoms of depression that he was starting to show. He'd at least start to head in the right direction before she started to talk prescribing him medications and stuff…
He decided that he was going to start working with Rachel on singing, like she kept pressuring him to do. It would at least keep his mind off of all of the stuff going on inside of it.
"Do you think that I could really sing?" he asked the girl, approaching her one day as she was about to enter the choir room. She looked at him with a curious expression, raising her eyebrow and smiling lightly. She looked absolutely delighted. Dave was afraid that he'd probably unleashed a monster, but at least this would get his mind off of the things that were really causing him some trouble.
"I already told you David!" she said, delighted. "You have a lovely, classical voice. Come inside with me. I have several songs that would fit your voice perfectly."
She had more than several songs that apparently fit his voice perfectly. They spent most of that afternoon running different songs, Rachel watching him with a very confused but pleased expression. He was getting a little frustrated from all of her comments and the complexities of singing that he had no idea about, but honestly it took his mind out of the dark place it was in. He couldn't say that he wasn't pleased with the fact that he felt somewhat functional when he was with her. As they took a break after what felt like the fiftieth song, she looked at him and smiled. "David, I never really did thank you for what you did," she said. "You protected Kurt. I don't know the details and I don't want to but that means so much to me. You're such a hero."
"We really have been saving each other," he mumbled under his breath. "He saves me every time he's near me."
"Don't discount you and all you are," she said and really, that was the problem wasn't it? Dave could not manage to not discount himself.
Dave had figured that the lessons he was having with Rachel were casual and just a way to pick up a new hobby and not be so…lost, but apparently the diva that was pretty much in charge of the McKinley high glee club had other ideas. The Regionals competition was approaching and Rachel was in charge of the setlist. Dave was barely paying attention in rehearsal when Rachel told the group her big idea.
"I think that we could benefit from showcasing Dave and Kurt in a duet," Rachel said softly. Everyone turned to look at her and Dave assumed that was because she was usually a little more selfish in her selections for competition. "I've been working with David for the last few days and he's sung a couple of beautiful songs. I think that given all they've been through, it'd be a very romantic, beautiful performance number…"
For a moment, everyone was absolutely silent. Dave ducked his head down and leaned against Kurt. Kurt looked around at his friends and then wrapped an arm around Dave, hugging him pretty close. Finally, someone spoke. It was Santana.
":I always knew that our resident bear cub had an awesome voice," she said, "but don't you think that'd get us some negative media attention? We might get accused of like…exploiting them or something." She looked at Kurt and Dave apologetically. "Sorry, guys, but I seriously had a reporter emailing me for information because I used to date him."
"Seriously?" Dave asked with a nervous laugh. He couldn't believe that people still cared so much about the two kidnapped boys.
"Seriously," Santana said with a lot more sympathy in her eyes than he was used to.
"It's true," Rachel said. "I don’t think the feature should be the highlight of our performance at all, but I do think that it should be at least included in some way."
"Rachel's right," Finn said.
Mr. Schuester looked at Kurt and Dave. Dave couldn't help the internal desire to hide from the choir director's gaze. He seemed to be carefully considering the whole situation, but Kurt had told him once that the guy wasn't the best at decision making. "Would you two be able to do it?" he asked, which was, at least, the sensitive way to go about things.
Dave looked at Kurt. "I want to," he said. The idea made his heart hurt and was terrifying but at the same time he wanted it.
"Are you sure?" Kurt asked.
Dave nodded. He needed something to live for, at least for the moment.
"Then we're in," Kurt said.
As they started to plot what songs could be used for the setlist, Blaine got up and left the choir room. Everyone looked at Kurt and Dave awkwardly, like they would have some sort of meltdown seeing what Blaine did. Mike, who was Blaine's only real close friend or so it seemed, followed him out of the room, quietly apologizing for his behavior. Dave felt badly. Blaine's life had pretty much gone to shit because of what happened to them too. It sucked. Nobody was getting out of this undamaged.
Rating: R
Pairing: Dave Karofsky / Kurt Hummel
Summary: Kurt Hummel and Dave Karofsky were abruptly rescued after months of captivity. Adjusting to their new lives would not be an easy task for either.
Warnings: References to past non-con.
"I feel like I'm not worth anything," Dave said honestly. It felt weird to say such harsh words in such a detached manner but he felt detached. He was trying and Kurt was trying to help him, but he'd fallen into something that felt a mile deep. He was having flashbacks and just had collapsed into himself. He wasn't sure what to do. He was scared and he wanted out of the psychosis that he was in so that he and Kurt could go on with actually building up their lives. "If it wasn't for Kurt…"
The psychiatrist looked through her old notes and then into his eyes. "If it wasn't for Kurt then you wouldn't have value," she repeated. "I believe that's a paraphrased version of what you told me the man who kidnapped you said. Do you think that maybe you've suddenly started reiterating his words?"
Dave nodded blankly. That was exactly what he was doing, but he couldn't really find it in himself to stop, as pathetic as that truly was. "Of course I am," he said softly. "I just don't get why I'm feeling so awful right now. I feel like…like I did when I was back home before all of this, so angry and afraid that people were going to find out that I was gay. Now I'm angry and afraid that I'll never be good enough for Kurt because he's…perfect…"
"David…"
"Why does he get to control my life when he's rotting in a prison cell?" Dave asked, looking up at her. "I just don't understand it…"
The rest of the therapy session was rather quiet, Dave withdrawn. He was just so tired of other people controlling his life. There had always been someone else holding the steering wheel in his life. He was conflicted for years because of his sexuality and the influence of high school and now that he was free from that, there were so many other things controlling him. He wanted to be better but he was honestly helpless.
His therapist did give him many words of wisdom, but he ignored most of them. When his father finally took him home from the session, however, one of her pieces of advice did stick with him. She told him to focus on something that he loved but never gave himself a chance to try before. She told him that if he put his mind in a good place, it would help him alleviate the symptoms of depression that he was starting to show. He'd at least start to head in the right direction before she started to talk prescribing him medications and stuff…
He decided that he was going to start working with Rachel on singing, like she kept pressuring him to do. It would at least keep his mind off of all of the stuff going on inside of it.
"Do you think that I could really sing?" he asked the girl, approaching her one day as she was about to enter the choir room. She looked at him with a curious expression, raising her eyebrow and smiling lightly. She looked absolutely delighted. Dave was afraid that he'd probably unleashed a monster, but at least this would get his mind off of the things that were really causing him some trouble.
"I already told you David!" she said, delighted. "You have a lovely, classical voice. Come inside with me. I have several songs that would fit your voice perfectly."
She had more than several songs that apparently fit his voice perfectly. They spent most of that afternoon running different songs, Rachel watching him with a very confused but pleased expression. He was getting a little frustrated from all of her comments and the complexities of singing that he had no idea about, but honestly it took his mind out of the dark place it was in. He couldn't say that he wasn't pleased with the fact that he felt somewhat functional when he was with her. As they took a break after what felt like the fiftieth song, she looked at him and smiled. "David, I never really did thank you for what you did," she said. "You protected Kurt. I don't know the details and I don't want to but that means so much to me. You're such a hero."
"We really have been saving each other," he mumbled under his breath. "He saves me every time he's near me."
"Don't discount you and all you are," she said and really, that was the problem wasn't it? Dave could not manage to not discount himself.
Dave had figured that the lessons he was having with Rachel were casual and just a way to pick up a new hobby and not be so…lost, but apparently the diva that was pretty much in charge of the McKinley high glee club had other ideas. The Regionals competition was approaching and Rachel was in charge of the setlist. Dave was barely paying attention in rehearsal when Rachel told the group her big idea.
"I think that we could benefit from showcasing Dave and Kurt in a duet," Rachel said softly. Everyone turned to look at her and Dave assumed that was because she was usually a little more selfish in her selections for competition. "I've been working with David for the last few days and he's sung a couple of beautiful songs. I think that given all they've been through, it'd be a very romantic, beautiful performance number…"
For a moment, everyone was absolutely silent. Dave ducked his head down and leaned against Kurt. Kurt looked around at his friends and then wrapped an arm around Dave, hugging him pretty close. Finally, someone spoke. It was Santana.
":I always knew that our resident bear cub had an awesome voice," she said, "but don't you think that'd get us some negative media attention? We might get accused of like…exploiting them or something." She looked at Kurt and Dave apologetically. "Sorry, guys, but I seriously had a reporter emailing me for information because I used to date him."
"Seriously?" Dave asked with a nervous laugh. He couldn't believe that people still cared so much about the two kidnapped boys.
"Seriously," Santana said with a lot more sympathy in her eyes than he was used to.
"It's true," Rachel said. "I don’t think the feature should be the highlight of our performance at all, but I do think that it should be at least included in some way."
"Rachel's right," Finn said.
Mr. Schuester looked at Kurt and Dave. Dave couldn't help the internal desire to hide from the choir director's gaze. He seemed to be carefully considering the whole situation, but Kurt had told him once that the guy wasn't the best at decision making. "Would you two be able to do it?" he asked, which was, at least, the sensitive way to go about things.
Dave looked at Kurt. "I want to," he said. The idea made his heart hurt and was terrifying but at the same time he wanted it.
"Are you sure?" Kurt asked.
Dave nodded. He needed something to live for, at least for the moment.
"Then we're in," Kurt said.
As they started to plot what songs could be used for the setlist, Blaine got up and left the choir room. Everyone looked at Kurt and Dave awkwardly, like they would have some sort of meltdown seeing what Blaine did. Mike, who was Blaine's only real close friend or so it seemed, followed him out of the room, quietly apologizing for his behavior. Dave felt badly. Blaine's life had pretty much gone to shit because of what happened to them too. It sucked. Nobody was getting out of this undamaged.