Maybe I fix this broken neon light... fill in the cracks and paint it bright
The last couple of days I’ve been ridiculously crumbling in front of everything, and since I've been already that fucked up, I thought I could just as well deliver the finishing blow and do something I always felt emotionally too unstable for, because when you lie on the floor you get that idea that there is no falling deeper. Of course that too is an illusion.
Well… actually I thought I was doing a good thing there, distracting myself with something that made me deliriously happy and excited 'in my youth' and made my life nicer. Of course at large I was being stupid since everything nice from long ago always tears my heart apart today. Professional wrestling of all things. Don’t get me wrong I had the best time in weeks, it’s only parts of the reminiscing that hurt.
My sister and I actually bonded over wrestling. Well, she used to hate and mock the things and people that I liked and I did the same to theirs, all in good joking spirit, so it fit, we’d eventually come together for the important stuff anyway, heh. Best example are the Outsiders really (on picture). We used to have late nights watching sessions of WWE/WCW - especially the WCW reruns from the mid 90s (~ with the nWo and Eric Bischoff being super hot) - all-American-like with ice-cream, popcorn, or whatever cake or crackers, lol. We went to the shows when they came round to Cologne or Oberhausen; spent days on making fabulous banners, and I mean fabulous. Sting waved at my self-painted Sting banner. Weeee x)) It was bloody awesome.
I’ve never been close with anyone from my family, and, sad as it may sound, I can’t imagine I would have ever connected with my sister if it wasn’t for Westlife and wrestling. We would never have become friends like we are.
Heh, she’s still into Kevin Nash… I debate with myself whether or not to show her Magic Mike… xD
As for me… lead me into a place and let me chose a favorite person, I’ll always come back with something problematic or a new personal issue.... But I don’t think that until this day I have encountered any man whom I’d want remotely in the same way as I wanted Scott Hall since I first saw him. Emancipation flying out the window in record time, I can tell you, it's embarrassing. Your mind short-circuits. Because he was to die for irresistible and blindingly fascinating to me. Like some golden God of lasciviousness and sex, and arrogant self-confidence… (I always had a thing for that, lol.) Those cool silver and black Halls throat drops at the cash desk in the supermarket had me flushing for years. They may or may not still have that effect. Well, yeah, they do. I indeed forgot to mention that he excelled at what he did, and he was hilarious, and there's nothing more appealing than a man that can make you laugh.
Of course... over time you develop a deeper fondness, as it should be in a feeling person, I think. Beautiful wild creature. Makes me feel so helplessly sad. Makes me feel freaking guilty to think how much I thought the weary look in his eyes suited him.
Over the years since I first watched it tons of bad things have happened in the world of the wrestling entertainment business. So many people I knew have died. When I watch it these days it isn’t the same, it isn’t with the same lightheartedness and comfort as say 12 years ago.
And now for that thing that I mentioned above, the one I usually would never have done.
Kevin Nash/Scott Hall. Back in the day.
Don’t mock me or be cruel. I don’t think I could take it right now.
Well… actually I thought I was doing a good thing there, distracting myself with something that made me deliriously happy and excited 'in my youth' and made my life nicer. Of course at large I was being stupid since everything nice from long ago always tears my heart apart today. Professional wrestling of all things. Don’t get me wrong I had the best time in weeks, it’s only parts of the reminiscing that hurt.
My sister and I actually bonded over wrestling. Well, she used to hate and mock the things and people that I liked and I did the same to theirs, all in good joking spirit, so it fit, we’d eventually come together for the important stuff anyway, heh. Best example are the Outsiders really (on picture). We used to have late nights watching sessions of WWE/WCW - especially the WCW reruns from the mid 90s (~ with the nWo and Eric Bischoff being super hot) - all-American-like with ice-cream, popcorn, or whatever cake or crackers, lol. We went to the shows when they came round to Cologne or Oberhausen; spent days on making fabulous banners, and I mean fabulous. Sting waved at my self-painted Sting banner. Weeee x)) It was bloody awesome.
I’ve never been close with anyone from my family, and, sad as it may sound, I can’t imagine I would have ever connected with my sister if it wasn’t for Westlife and wrestling. We would never have become friends like we are.
Heh, she’s still into Kevin Nash… I debate with myself whether or not to show her Magic Mike… xD
As for me… lead me into a place and let me chose a favorite person, I’ll always come back with something problematic or a new personal issue.... But I don’t think that until this day I have encountered any man whom I’d want remotely in the same way as I wanted Scott Hall since I first saw him. Emancipation flying out the window in record time, I can tell you, it's embarrassing. Your mind short-circuits. Because he was to die for irresistible and blindingly fascinating to me. Like some golden God of lasciviousness and sex, and arrogant self-confidence… (I always had a thing for that, lol.) Those cool silver and black Halls throat drops at the cash desk in the supermarket had me flushing for years. They may or may not still have that effect. Well, yeah, they do. I indeed forgot to mention that he excelled at what he did, and he was hilarious, and there's nothing more appealing than a man that can make you laugh.
Of course... over time you develop a deeper fondness, as it should be in a feeling person, I think. Beautiful wild creature. Makes me feel so helplessly sad. Makes me feel freaking guilty to think how much I thought the weary look in his eyes suited him.
Over the years since I first watched it tons of bad things have happened in the world of the wrestling entertainment business. So many people I knew have died. When I watch it these days it isn’t the same, it isn’t with the same lightheartedness and comfort as say 12 years ago.
And now for that thing that I mentioned above, the one I usually would never have done.
Kevin Nash/Scott Hall. Back in the day.
Don’t mock me or be cruel. I don’t think I could take it right now.