I want to lie, shipwrecked and comotoase, drinking fresh mango juice...

[karneol_vision]

I spent 3 hours uploading my new mood theme (not mine, credits to spacemonkeyluvn  ). I had uploaded all of the pictures and then I was told that the urls were wrong. It took me some time to realize why, until it became clear that all but two urls were simply too long. By a mere couple of letters. Awesome. Anyway, it seems to be working :D

Now for a bit of disconnected incoherent babble:

Everytime I get into a new fandom I spend days locking myself in and extracting every little bit of it from the interwebs that I can possibly find.
And once again TV (in the widest sense) proves to be my biggest love that I want to smother with my love until it stops breathing. You're my friend *pats online TV* I luvz you.

Generally, I'm having several feverish love interests right now.
- One that has always been my biggest. I won't be talking about it now.
- Another one that I have just become active in in the last couple of weeks. Won't be talking about t right now neither.

- And then there's the one that has grabbed me by the imaginary lapels of my imaginary blazer and french-kissed me into next week.



Yes, that's right, after years of neglect and lazy ignorance, I have finally fallen for it.
The first time I saw any of it was when I had started to develop a huge interest in fannish music videos. The video was made to the song 'Handle me with Care'. I didn't pay all that much attention to it back then, for the same reasons why I never really got into Dr. Who. It was just the song that stuck with me.
The second time I heard of it was in an seminar at uni that dealt with several factors of contemporary England. Everyone had to do a presentation, and the one about British sitcoms was hands down the most entertaining one. That was also the first time I heard about Torchwood. I didn't pay any attention to neither right then.
The third time I heard about it was via my friend who always came up with all the new animes and shows, mangas, comics and books, and anything fantasy, yaoi, slash-worthy, etc; she mentioned it in passing about 5 years ago.
[ I love her, I miss her. I'll be doing some grovelling to persuade her to take me back. I need her in my life.]

Then finally, last week, I came across Red Dwarf being streamed online and I was very depressed on that night and just let it play. I don't know how. But suddenly it was the big thing I've always been told that it was.
It makes me shake inside.

Click to view

And it's one of those shows that beyond being hilarious (and yeah, totally sexy, because OMG... *flails* and yeah, the butchering accent *___*) essentially makes you care and can give you the feeling of belonging. Escapism much, I  know, kids.

~*~*~

I haven't done/made a thing in football-fandom for the last couple of weeks, except for reading the recent chapters of Fathers and Sons.
And I feel much better about it, and more at ease.
I always become too dependent on things I love. Fandoms are there to be hobbies, to be loved and enjoyed, to have fun in them, but not to make you miserable. My problem is that I expected from the footie fandom to 'save' me of sorts, to always make me happy, but it's just something that it can't do; it's impossible, and of course I became miserable and bitter due to that. It was the same with volleyball. It was the one and only thing in my live, I defined myself through it. When I had to quit it was like dying.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty tough for several reasons, so I started concentrating on other things, other fandoms, more incidentally than anything else, but it happened, naturally, as it should. I've read awesome fic until 6am in the morning instead of lying awake and moaning about how awful and empty everything is, I've seen incredible fanworks that have frustrated me to no end and made me want to do better and more than I have so far, try harder at what I do.

I'll be easing back into football in the next days with a challenge I was sent (thanks for that!) and then I'll continue with the pending works.

[EdiT: for some reason I've just been experiencing big troubles while trying to edit my entry, and all of my formatting has been screwed up... is that some current lj-problem or just some glitch...?]