i know exactly how you feel, and I don't even disagree with you.
from this side of it, i have to say, though, i can't just condemn him out of hand. i am disgusted and appalled (though to be perfectly honest, i've gone with the blinders on this and haven't read the whole story because I can't face it) but he has meant so much to me in the past several years. i've been depressed and unhappy, and the one thing, the ONE thing that got me through a year of hell, was the thought that at the weekend, i could go and see Chelsea play. and he is the symbol of all that was right in my world at that time. when we lost that cl final and everyone blamed him, it was like my soul had been ripped out of my body. i felt so much pain. and then he came out an apologized to the fans for letting us down. and I fell in love with him. i know he is a celebrity, and i know it's not 'normal', but I really do. and now, that he has (once again) proven to be horrifically, fallibly human, i feel the need to protect him, like the ideal of him protected me, literally kept me alive in a really horrible time for me.
i do not excuse what he has done, but i wish he would be left alone. this is a personal matter between himself and his family. it does not change who he is to me and what he represents. maybe that is something wrong with me, but i already knew i wasn't entirely right to begin with.
i don't know why i felt the need to post this here to you as you've made up your mind, and i'm not here to tell you to change it.
i just wanted you to know what it feels like over here.
I can't change my mind about the matter in itself, but I do understand you perfectly. It's how I'm forced to feel very often.
To me it is still more than a personal thing though; this is not only about him and his family. He could have gone and looked somewhere that was not in any way connected to his place in the football world. He has disappointed me as the Captain of the English NT, as captain of a team, any team. I don't understand how you can do certain things behind the back of your colleagues, your mates. This is my problem.
I know very well that all people are fallible. But if you represent so much to so many, if you're such an ideal... you can't do certain things, and I don't mean just things that are wrong, but things that are even more wrong in the circumstances because you are what you are, hope and grandness.
To me he's always ever been important as England's Captain and one of the outstanding players of the premier league, and he's just destroyed that from its fundaments. He's a bleak space now, I can't see anything brilliant in him anymore.
I do think HE needs to step up and hand over the armband. I think it would be the right gesture and reunite the England fans and team. But I know him well enough to know I don't think he will do that. He is an arrogant dick. (yes, and I still love him)
Maybe I feel in this case that he has betrayed me, in some way, personally, and I feel very strongly that people who do not have a personal stake in this have no right to judge. (the ONTD posts have made me physically ill) And I also thing that everyone has a right to feel what they do, but the cruelty and hate which comes from a place that has nothing to do with this situation is upsetting.
Then again, I guess the saddest part of me says "You know, this isn't new. We already knew this about him, why are we suddenly so surprised by it?" Why were we okay with him before and now he's suddenly a pariah? This story isn't even new. Those in and around Chelsea already knew it, anyway, the papers just weren't allowed to print it.
It's funny, because cheating is not something I approve of or would EVER do myself. I've had women who were horrible to me because they thought I would be after "their men", and it offended me that they would think that of me. Do not take your insecurities about your relationship and turn them into a moral judgment against me.
Anyway, I ramble. Thank you for listening. I know we have not always seen eye to eye, but you, unlike a lot of people, are able to look at situations and think rather than react.
And also, I am grateful you posted your opinion and feelings here. I understand that there are things more important than the first weary notion of a wrong-right distinction. Thank you.
from this side of it, i have to say, though, i can't just condemn him out of hand. i am disgusted and appalled (though to be perfectly honest, i've gone with the blinders on this and haven't read the whole story because I can't face it) but he has meant so much to me in the past several years. i've been depressed and unhappy, and the one thing, the ONE thing that got me through a year of hell, was the thought that at the weekend, i could go and see Chelsea play. and he is the symbol of all that was right in my world at that time. when we lost that cl final and everyone blamed him, it was like my soul had been ripped out of my body. i felt so much pain. and then he came out an apologized to the fans for letting us down. and I fell in love with him. i know he is a celebrity, and i know it's not 'normal', but I really do. and now, that he has (once again) proven to be horrifically, fallibly human, i feel the need to protect him, like the ideal of him protected me, literally kept me alive in a really horrible time for me.
i do not excuse what he has done, but i wish he would be left alone. this is a personal matter between himself and his family. it does not change who he is to me and what he represents. maybe that is something wrong with me, but i already knew i wasn't entirely right to begin with.
i don't know why i felt the need to post this here to you as you've made up your mind, and i'm not here to tell you to change it.
i just wanted you to know what it feels like over here.
X
Reply
To me it is still more than a personal thing though; this is not only about him and his family. He could have gone and looked somewhere that was not in any way connected to his place in the football world. He has disappointed me as the Captain of the English NT, as captain of a team, any team. I don't understand how you can do certain things behind the back of your colleagues, your mates. This is my problem.
I know very well that all people are fallible. But if you represent so much to so many, if you're such an ideal... you can't do certain things, and I don't mean just things that are wrong, but things that are even more wrong in the circumstances because you are what you are, hope and grandness.
To me he's always ever been important as England's Captain and one of the outstanding players of the premier league, and he's just destroyed that from its fundaments. He's a bleak space now, I can't see anything brilliant in him anymore.
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Maybe I feel in this case that he has betrayed me, in some way, personally, and I feel very strongly that people who do not have a personal stake in this have no right to judge. (the ONTD posts have made me physically ill) And I also thing that everyone has a right to feel what they do, but the cruelty and hate which comes from a place that has nothing to do with this situation is upsetting.
Then again, I guess the saddest part of me says "You know, this isn't new. We already knew this about him, why are we suddenly so surprised by it?" Why were we okay with him before and now he's suddenly a pariah? This story isn't even new. Those in and around Chelsea already knew it, anyway, the papers just weren't allowed to print it.
It's funny, because cheating is not something I approve of or would EVER do myself. I've had women who were horrible to me because they thought I would be after "their men", and it offended me that they would think that of me. Do not take your insecurities about your relationship and turn them into a moral judgment against me.
Anyway, I ramble. Thank you for listening. I know we have not always seen eye to eye, but you, unlike a lot of people, are able to look at situations and think rather than react.
X
Reply
Thank you.
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