oh dear...
i am sorry all...yesterday was just sorta an off day. and i'm really getting more consumed into this whole exam shizzle than i want to. oy gavualt i just want it over. really i do. my brain is just about dead.
The other shit thats bothering me is because, as all of you know, i hate saying no to people, or refusing somebody or inconviencing etc...so now, when i get invited on a vacation justto babysit for this family and i dont even want to go its almost impossible for me to get up the courage to say no.
And i feel like a horrible person even more because TORCH, the organization i helped start, i know i have to quit. I wont be home for any of the summer meetings, i couldn't make the last one and to be honest i am very little help to them. i feel like a shithead. argh!
why cant i just grow some balls and get over it? i dunno. i mean i know i would tell my friends to just get up and do it, and i cant do what i know is right. yucky.
plus, i wanna apoligize to the person i was angry at yesterday but i also dont because then it'll be like it never happened. so i hafta figure out a way so that things change between us so i can stop feeling this way but also so that i can feel good about myself again.
wow that'd be a plus.
i love you all, and happy studying.
The other shit thats bothering me is because, as all of you know, i hate saying no to people, or refusing somebody or inconviencing etc...so now, when i get invited on a vacation justto babysit for this family and i dont even want to go its almost impossible for me to get up the courage to say no.
And i feel like a horrible person even more because TORCH, the organization i helped start, i know i have to quit. I wont be home for any of the summer meetings, i couldn't make the last one and to be honest i am very little help to them. i feel like a shithead. argh!
why cant i just grow some balls and get over it? i dunno. i mean i know i would tell my friends to just get up and do it, and i cant do what i know is right. yucky.
plus, i wanna apoligize to the person i was angry at yesterday but i also dont because then it'll be like it never happened. so i hafta figure out a way so that things change between us so i can stop feeling this way but also so that i can feel good about myself again.
wow that'd be a plus.
i love you all, and happy studying.