lord he's so beautiful
When i was living with my parents in grade school, i remember sitting in my driveway on a cool dark night. The air was sharp and fresh. Everything was forest green. I looked up into the clear deep blue night that was illuminated by a full moon. I would think to myself "The one i'm going to marry is looking at this same moon". Then i would wonder who that man was. What did he look like? was i happy? would we have kids? what would their names be?
Even when i was with travis campbell, my first love, i would do that. I knew that he was great, but their was something else, someone else, out their WAITING for me.
I told my mom the first week i was with tim that he was going to ask me to marry him :) isn't that funny??? I just KNEW. i wonder if it's like that for everyone?
so now i'm 22 years old. I have a beautiful baby boy. so many people start their lives later in life- and i've started mine now. Its soooo FUN. Its an overwhelming emotion i feel for my hubby and son. I used to not know, but now i know, i will at least have one more child. As for a third, i will decide that later in life. Tim does not want anymore children, but i KNOW (i just know) he'll compromise with me and have at least one more :)
I remember being really scared with tim. He was so persistent with me, bought me expensive jewelry (we weren't even dating) and told me he loved me before we ever dated. I thought he was too good to be true... you know how it is, you date ppl and a few months or years later you think, "WHO ARE YOU (asshole)??!!". Honestly, Tim was beautiful, and just like the song by kelly clarkson, i didn't know if he would be beautiful, or a beautiful disaster.
here is the song that sums up tim, thank god he turned out to be beautiful :) ... minus the disaster.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
Lord, it just ain’t right
Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magica and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Baby, Hold me tight
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He’s beautiful
Lord he's so beautiful
You know what? Tim... he was the only one EVER there for me. All the so called ppl in my life who loved me or LOVE me. my parents, brothers, x-boyfriends, best friends, friends... TIM is the only one who held my hand thru re-hab. Tim taught me to TRUST people as a whole- he taught me that i DESERVE to have a good man who loves me AND i deserve to be treated with respect in general. I am worthy of love and beautful the way i am. He buys me things "just becuase" and when he buys himself something, he buys me something too. When other women hit on him, he doesn't rub it in my face- everything he does, he does it in a RESPECTFUL manner, and he's so damn honest. For example, i have "friends" (and i quote) "friends" who HIT ON TIM (most have cheated on their hubbies multiple times). I am happy, and when other women (or...people in general) are in the room with me, i am the ONLY ONE my hubby see's and pays attention too :) other women will be thinner than me, and there hubbies tell them to wear makeup and lose weight. My hubby brings me home fast food, dognuts, and what not and HATES when i put on makeup because he thinks i'm beautiful as is. so obviously, you can see why others would want my hubby. My point is, i don't notice (tim mentioned it- relevantly- in a convo with me) and i don't CARE. wanna know who does? TIM. he says he doesn't wanna hang out with them, but i can, blah blah.
:) tim is beautiful.
Even when i was with travis campbell, my first love, i would do that. I knew that he was great, but their was something else, someone else, out their WAITING for me.
I told my mom the first week i was with tim that he was going to ask me to marry him :) isn't that funny??? I just KNEW. i wonder if it's like that for everyone?
so now i'm 22 years old. I have a beautiful baby boy. so many people start their lives later in life- and i've started mine now. Its soooo FUN. Its an overwhelming emotion i feel for my hubby and son. I used to not know, but now i know, i will at least have one more child. As for a third, i will decide that later in life. Tim does not want anymore children, but i KNOW (i just know) he'll compromise with me and have at least one more :)
I remember being really scared with tim. He was so persistent with me, bought me expensive jewelry (we weren't even dating) and told me he loved me before we ever dated. I thought he was too good to be true... you know how it is, you date ppl and a few months or years later you think, "WHO ARE YOU (asshole)??!!". Honestly, Tim was beautiful, and just like the song by kelly clarkson, i didn't know if he would be beautiful, or a beautiful disaster.
here is the song that sums up tim, thank god he turned out to be beautiful :) ... minus the disaster.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
Lord, it just ain’t right
Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magica and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Baby, Hold me tight
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He’s beautiful
Lord he's so beautiful
You know what? Tim... he was the only one EVER there for me. All the so called ppl in my life who loved me or LOVE me. my parents, brothers, x-boyfriends, best friends, friends... TIM is the only one who held my hand thru re-hab. Tim taught me to TRUST people as a whole- he taught me that i DESERVE to have a good man who loves me AND i deserve to be treated with respect in general. I am worthy of love and beautful the way i am. He buys me things "just becuase" and when he buys himself something, he buys me something too. When other women hit on him, he doesn't rub it in my face- everything he does, he does it in a RESPECTFUL manner, and he's so damn honest. For example, i have "friends" (and i quote) "friends" who HIT ON TIM (most have cheated on their hubbies multiple times). I am happy, and when other women (or...people in general) are in the room with me, i am the ONLY ONE my hubby see's and pays attention too :) other women will be thinner than me, and there hubbies tell them to wear makeup and lose weight. My hubby brings me home fast food, dognuts, and what not and HATES when i put on makeup because he thinks i'm beautiful as is. so obviously, you can see why others would want my hubby. My point is, i don't notice (tim mentioned it- relevantly- in a convo with me) and i don't CARE. wanna know who does? TIM. he says he doesn't wanna hang out with them, but i can, blah blah.
:) tim is beautiful.