as of late...
ooooook.
so... what did i do for my b-day? well, tim was gone on a field exercise for the whole month of august... hehe, so i took the credit card (never leave home without it) and i bought myself $400 worth of presents!! yay, i had myself a christmas!
Its 2:40am. I should be sleeping because carter has went to sleep about 3 hours ago, but i can't sleep. Tim is gone on duty until 4am.
Well, i'm finally moved into my place on coronado island. Carter and i have been roller blading down the beach, going for walks, we watched the sun set on night. I exercise at least 5-6 times a week. I'm excited because i wear junior clothing!! you know... it goes girls, then juniors, then missies, then women, then plus sizes. Everyone at work says i'm getting so small :) muahaha.... its amazing what a lil health can do for you
actually, wanna know who did it for me? carter! He's really done wonders for my life- because of him, i quit smoking, drinking, (because duh, its not good for babies). Now i have given up anything containing milk, eggs or peanuts- the poor little guy is SEVERLY allergic to those things. So i can't eat chocolate, cheese, yogurt,cake, cookies, brownies, snickers, ... u get the picture. I've really taken to SOY. omg, who knew, soy is actually to die for! trust me, try "silk milk- chocolate" or "silk milk- vanilla" omg- it is soooo freaking good. i actually like it better then regular milk. tim is petrified. everytime i make him a glass of milk he fears its soy and not from a cow. I dunno why tho, i tell him i'm not gonna waiste my soy on him to poor down the drain for $2.70/ half gallon!!
hmmm what have i been up to? well... i've been working. work is good- except some stupid ppl i work with, but lets not get into that, eh?
wanna know something funny? i wear sports bras a lot cuz they smash down my boobs! most women love big breast, but mine are so big, i feel dispreportioned. I can't wait to stop breast feeding... talk about insecure.
i bought a digital camera- i'm really excited about that cuz i love to scrap book. i'm making carter the CUTEST baby book!! its absolutely adorable.
WANNA know my biggest fear? it is being alone- (something happening to tim and carter) honestly- i hate to be alone. I hate to be single- but without my family- i just wouldn't know what to do with myself. i would feel lost. I like having someone to trust and love and cuddle- someone to share things with.
wanna know my biggest struggle right now? its my relationship with my dad. We're not talking- he's taking out his anger on my mom (divorce) on me (we're so much alike). and a lot of SICK SHIT that i'd rather not mention. ANywho, my dilema is that i'm not talking, but what about carter? should i send him a pic of carter? we got professional pics taken. I think i'm gonna send him one anywho- but i'm not going to put my address on it- he doesn't no where i live or my phone number- its sad, but if you only knew all the details :/ that brought it to this. Basically i've reached a point in my life where i had to consider the ppl in my life and the effect they were making on my happiness and well being. hmmm. Lemme just say... he had to be severed. really, the only one in my extended family is my mom- and that is ok. I mean, i talk to ryan every blue moon over e-mails and nick over the phone (he has 3 jobs) but what ev. I have tim and carter now.
dang... 3am and i'm getting tired.
i had a discussion with tim today about all this- life is a real bitch sometimes- i wonder what the future will bring?
well... i guess that is about everything i have to say right now.
so... what did i do for my b-day? well, tim was gone on a field exercise for the whole month of august... hehe, so i took the credit card (never leave home without it) and i bought myself $400 worth of presents!! yay, i had myself a christmas!
Its 2:40am. I should be sleeping because carter has went to sleep about 3 hours ago, but i can't sleep. Tim is gone on duty until 4am.
Well, i'm finally moved into my place on coronado island. Carter and i have been roller blading down the beach, going for walks, we watched the sun set on night. I exercise at least 5-6 times a week. I'm excited because i wear junior clothing!! you know... it goes girls, then juniors, then missies, then women, then plus sizes. Everyone at work says i'm getting so small :) muahaha.... its amazing what a lil health can do for you
actually, wanna know who did it for me? carter! He's really done wonders for my life- because of him, i quit smoking, drinking, (because duh, its not good for babies). Now i have given up anything containing milk, eggs or peanuts- the poor little guy is SEVERLY allergic to those things. So i can't eat chocolate, cheese, yogurt,cake, cookies, brownies, snickers, ... u get the picture. I've really taken to SOY. omg, who knew, soy is actually to die for! trust me, try "silk milk- chocolate" or "silk milk- vanilla" omg- it is soooo freaking good. i actually like it better then regular milk. tim is petrified. everytime i make him a glass of milk he fears its soy and not from a cow. I dunno why tho, i tell him i'm not gonna waiste my soy on him to poor down the drain for $2.70/ half gallon!!
hmmm what have i been up to? well... i've been working. work is good- except some stupid ppl i work with, but lets not get into that, eh?
wanna know something funny? i wear sports bras a lot cuz they smash down my boobs! most women love big breast, but mine are so big, i feel dispreportioned. I can't wait to stop breast feeding... talk about insecure.
i bought a digital camera- i'm really excited about that cuz i love to scrap book. i'm making carter the CUTEST baby book!! its absolutely adorable.
WANNA know my biggest fear? it is being alone- (something happening to tim and carter) honestly- i hate to be alone. I hate to be single- but without my family- i just wouldn't know what to do with myself. i would feel lost. I like having someone to trust and love and cuddle- someone to share things with.
wanna know my biggest struggle right now? its my relationship with my dad. We're not talking- he's taking out his anger on my mom (divorce) on me (we're so much alike). and a lot of SICK SHIT that i'd rather not mention. ANywho, my dilema is that i'm not talking, but what about carter? should i send him a pic of carter? we got professional pics taken. I think i'm gonna send him one anywho- but i'm not going to put my address on it- he doesn't no where i live or my phone number- its sad, but if you only knew all the details :/ that brought it to this. Basically i've reached a point in my life where i had to consider the ppl in my life and the effect they were making on my happiness and well being. hmmm. Lemme just say... he had to be severed. really, the only one in my extended family is my mom- and that is ok. I mean, i talk to ryan every blue moon over e-mails and nick over the phone (he has 3 jobs) but what ev. I have tim and carter now.
dang... 3am and i'm getting tired.
i had a discussion with tim today about all this- life is a real bitch sometimes- i wonder what the future will bring?
well... i guess that is about everything i have to say right now.