(no subject)
ugh.. do u know how easy it is to please small children and babies?
all carter wants is tons of kiss's, and for his mom or dad to hold him... or at least be in his eye sight.
ugh... I am so thankful tim is providing a life for us where i can spend all my time with carter teaching him to be a sweet boy... and GIVE HIM EVERYTHING. everyday... me and carter do fun stuff... i really take advantage, cuz soon, he's gonna wanna be with his buds and think "mom... who?" :(
*chuckle* its so sweet. If he wakes up and i'm not there... he CRIESSS and i yell "moms coming!!" and he stops :) and of course i pick him up and shower him with TONZZ of kisses :) if i walk away from him, he'll yell (not cry) and i'll walk back in the room and he'll smile. its just this OVERWHELMING feeling... think about ur mom, and how u feel about her... i am that person.. i am mom. The one who feeds, dresses, and rocks carter to sleep. I'm the one who makes him feel better... kisses his boo boos, holds him when he's sick... i'm the one who holds him to stop him from crying... and he stops cuz he knows that "momma's here" and he is safe. I will always be there.
You know what my greatest fear is? that some day i won't be there. or worse, tim and carter won't. Has your life ever been sooo fulfilling, so blissfully perfect, that u were worried something would come and screw it up? something would happen, and in an instant, it was over?
How do i protect carter from sex offenders? look up sex offenders on ur computer for area code 92139, san diego california... it is just SICK the amount of sex offenders who live in my area. What about murders and kidnappers? what about MEAN people?? kids at school... GIRLS. what if his little heart gets broken? what if his leg gets broken?? *sigh* the happiest days of my life are when carter smiles... the single most happiest day of my life, will be when i see Carter's dreams come true. When he is able to speak and understand words, i will tell him this over and over and over again so he will know he can only disappoint me... if he doesn't follow his heart- lead his life by what HE wants, and not what everyone else wants of him. I just want him to be happy, and i want him to know i'll always be there for him. If he does something wrong, i will not love his action, but i will always love him. and that mistakes are actions everyone makes... it is only a bad thing, if we do not learn from these mistakes.
and he woke up... he's watching tv, i can hear him (i'm just around the corner ) he's not crying or n-e thing... but i love spending time with him... and i want to while i still have it!
until next time
all carter wants is tons of kiss's, and for his mom or dad to hold him... or at least be in his eye sight.
ugh... I am so thankful tim is providing a life for us where i can spend all my time with carter teaching him to be a sweet boy... and GIVE HIM EVERYTHING. everyday... me and carter do fun stuff... i really take advantage, cuz soon, he's gonna wanna be with his buds and think "mom... who?" :(
*chuckle* its so sweet. If he wakes up and i'm not there... he CRIESSS and i yell "moms coming!!" and he stops :) and of course i pick him up and shower him with TONZZ of kisses :) if i walk away from him, he'll yell (not cry) and i'll walk back in the room and he'll smile. its just this OVERWHELMING feeling... think about ur mom, and how u feel about her... i am that person.. i am mom. The one who feeds, dresses, and rocks carter to sleep. I'm the one who makes him feel better... kisses his boo boos, holds him when he's sick... i'm the one who holds him to stop him from crying... and he stops cuz he knows that "momma's here" and he is safe. I will always be there.
You know what my greatest fear is? that some day i won't be there. or worse, tim and carter won't. Has your life ever been sooo fulfilling, so blissfully perfect, that u were worried something would come and screw it up? something would happen, and in an instant, it was over?
How do i protect carter from sex offenders? look up sex offenders on ur computer for area code 92139, san diego california... it is just SICK the amount of sex offenders who live in my area. What about murders and kidnappers? what about MEAN people?? kids at school... GIRLS. what if his little heart gets broken? what if his leg gets broken?? *sigh* the happiest days of my life are when carter smiles... the single most happiest day of my life, will be when i see Carter's dreams come true. When he is able to speak and understand words, i will tell him this over and over and over again so he will know he can only disappoint me... if he doesn't follow his heart- lead his life by what HE wants, and not what everyone else wants of him. I just want him to be happy, and i want him to know i'll always be there for him. If he does something wrong, i will not love his action, but i will always love him. and that mistakes are actions everyone makes... it is only a bad thing, if we do not learn from these mistakes.
and he woke up... he's watching tv, i can hear him (i'm just around the corner ) he's not crying or n-e thing... but i love spending time with him... and i want to while i still have it!
until next time