I'm so Charlie Brown
So last Thursday I went to get my slew of medical test - bone scan, CAT scan, blood work and mammogram.
Then yesterday I went to see my oncologist for a follow up and the results - a 9:00 appointment. Everything looked good - I've lost 8 pounds - hurrah, hurrah. But wait.....they just wanted to take a few magnification mammograms - they can fit me in at 10:30. Fine. Then the radiologist determines that most of the little calcifications that he wanted to look at are scar tissue or fat necrosis (I don't know what that word means but it always sounds like one of those biological oddities that you never really want the details on) - but there is one group of calcifications that he doesn't like - so hey we're just going to do a biosy ok? Greaaaaat. There's an opening at 2:00. Why not - let's make a day of it. So - this biospy was not like my other. In my other one - I was crying already because they already knew it was cancer - and I was lying on my back/side at a weird angle while some intern dude my arm above me and they used this mini - reverse calk gun like needle.
This time I was pretty calm - for the most part. It was a freaky proceedure. I had to mark my boob with a "yes" - a malpractice precaution. Then they had me lay face down on a table that had a hole in in which I stuck my boob through. Said boob was then squashed in a plastic vise - which felt great. Then they lifted the table up - as if I needed an oil change. After a few numbing shots - a machine drilled a hole in my boob. It sounded like a dentist drill - which I don't usually mind at the actual dentist - but this was a little too freaky so I got a little teary and the nurse rubbed my back and tried to distract me mentally by asking me about my work - which was helpful. After the tissue was taken - they lowered me back down and called in another person who had to apply pressure to my chest for ten minutes and go over the aftercare rules. She closed me up with some steri-strips and they sat me up and gave me some water. After I dressed - the nurse showed me the scans they did of the tissue they removed and the calcium deposits. The she showed me the actual tissue in a jar of water-like fluid. It was kind of interesting. They taped a small ice pack on my boob and put some rolled up gauze in my bra for added compression and I got home at about 4:00. It was an unexpectedly long day - but I am reading a good book and it gave me some good time with it.
My insurance make them send out the sample to an outside lab - so it'll be about 10 days before I hear. Blah. I'm not sure what to think at this point. Mostly I'm sure it's nothing. But then it might not be - especially given my history - so who knows.
Just before all this - when I was leaving my oncologist appointment she said I was far enough out to start going through her survivor program she just started. When I was in treatment - I went to the funeral of a woman that had died from breast cancer that recurred on her 5th anniversary - which is supposed to be the benchmark of returning to a normal threat level.
So mostly I'm sure it's nothing. But it's also kind of like trying to get out of the mafia - just when you think you're out....it pulls you back in.
Then yesterday I went to see my oncologist for a follow up and the results - a 9:00 appointment. Everything looked good - I've lost 8 pounds - hurrah, hurrah. But wait.....they just wanted to take a few magnification mammograms - they can fit me in at 10:30. Fine. Then the radiologist determines that most of the little calcifications that he wanted to look at are scar tissue or fat necrosis (I don't know what that word means but it always sounds like one of those biological oddities that you never really want the details on) - but there is one group of calcifications that he doesn't like - so hey we're just going to do a biosy ok? Greaaaaat. There's an opening at 2:00. Why not - let's make a day of it. So - this biospy was not like my other. In my other one - I was crying already because they already knew it was cancer - and I was lying on my back/side at a weird angle while some intern dude my arm above me and they used this mini - reverse calk gun like needle.
This time I was pretty calm - for the most part. It was a freaky proceedure. I had to mark my boob with a "yes" - a malpractice precaution. Then they had me lay face down on a table that had a hole in in which I stuck my boob through. Said boob was then squashed in a plastic vise - which felt great. Then they lifted the table up - as if I needed an oil change. After a few numbing shots - a machine drilled a hole in my boob. It sounded like a dentist drill - which I don't usually mind at the actual dentist - but this was a little too freaky so I got a little teary and the nurse rubbed my back and tried to distract me mentally by asking me about my work - which was helpful. After the tissue was taken - they lowered me back down and called in another person who had to apply pressure to my chest for ten minutes and go over the aftercare rules. She closed me up with some steri-strips and they sat me up and gave me some water. After I dressed - the nurse showed me the scans they did of the tissue they removed and the calcium deposits. The she showed me the actual tissue in a jar of water-like fluid. It was kind of interesting. They taped a small ice pack on my boob and put some rolled up gauze in my bra for added compression and I got home at about 4:00. It was an unexpectedly long day - but I am reading a good book and it gave me some good time with it.
My insurance make them send out the sample to an outside lab - so it'll be about 10 days before I hear. Blah. I'm not sure what to think at this point. Mostly I'm sure it's nothing. But then it might not be - especially given my history - so who knows.
Just before all this - when I was leaving my oncologist appointment she said I was far enough out to start going through her survivor program she just started. When I was in treatment - I went to the funeral of a woman that had died from breast cancer that recurred on her 5th anniversary - which is supposed to be the benchmark of returning to a normal threat level.
So mostly I'm sure it's nothing. But it's also kind of like trying to get out of the mafia - just when you think you're out....it pulls you back in.