Writing From the Hip
that point.
when you find yourself actually a little creeped out because you find yourself weirded out by the quick realization, that for more then a few healthy minutes, you find yourself completely wanting to rail someone that's the same age as say a niece or even a daughters age. (well they're all daughters at some point)
fuck.
just all dumb (and not so) kids. listless, ignorant fuck-O's and a few friend-O's.
my self realization is often laced with self hate and regret. it's a pester. avoiding labeling things (which they seem to be "things"). feeling achy and sore. out of place. more so meaning with time. say, gravity. straight jackets (and/or) a punch in the face. peace. out.
the news usually gets me down.
kids killing kids. the price of that lemon-jack-shit, is getting up there. some local tragedy, falling short of community. bypass ignorance. damn your attractiveness two worded beauty.
i'm just not able to say i'm having trouble. bottle emotions up inside and fuck myself off.
not a screw up. feeling like a fuck up. always told such nice things. once, or a few times, told to not believe what others say. more then a few times, hearing it's not important what others think. oh, and the contrary. my worry makes me sick. i'm not nearly as cool as John from Se7en, but i aught to say i feel a pull.
(un)needed bullshit bringing me down. pain in my chest.
have i been this way for missing a father and a few dead friends. by connections and loss of life. am i just waiting to find something to replace that void? yes, i have so much to be thankful for and yada yada. it's just not always there. and who wants to be that panzy just up and saying it. like a good rock album, one's got to try and make a bog production out of it.
i have what i'm thankful for. that's different then not having what i was thankful for. that absence of something. complete removal. and the billions of billions upon billions of souls that have come and gone. that will be and eventually, won't be?
when you find yourself actually a little creeped out because you find yourself weirded out by the quick realization, that for more then a few healthy minutes, you find yourself completely wanting to rail someone that's the same age as say a niece or even a daughters age. (well they're all daughters at some point)
fuck.
just all dumb (and not so) kids. listless, ignorant fuck-O's and a few friend-O's.
my self realization is often laced with self hate and regret. it's a pester. avoiding labeling things (which they seem to be "things"). feeling achy and sore. out of place. more so meaning with time. say, gravity. straight jackets (and/or) a punch in the face. peace. out.
the news usually gets me down.
kids killing kids. the price of that lemon-jack-shit, is getting up there. some local tragedy, falling short of community. bypass ignorance. damn your attractiveness two worded beauty.
i'm just not able to say i'm having trouble. bottle emotions up inside and fuck myself off.
not a screw up. feeling like a fuck up. always told such nice things. once, or a few times, told to not believe what others say. more then a few times, hearing it's not important what others think. oh, and the contrary. my worry makes me sick. i'm not nearly as cool as John from Se7en, but i aught to say i feel a pull.
(un)needed bullshit bringing me down. pain in my chest.
have i been this way for missing a father and a few dead friends. by connections and loss of life. am i just waiting to find something to replace that void? yes, i have so much to be thankful for and yada yada. it's just not always there. and who wants to be that panzy just up and saying it. like a good rock album, one's got to try and make a bog production out of it.
i have what i'm thankful for. that's different then not having what i was thankful for. that absence of something. complete removal. and the billions of billions upon billions of souls that have come and gone. that will be and eventually, won't be?