Rrrrrrrrrraaaaaarrrrgh!
So, closing at work last night had elements of frustration about it. Line Guy did the flirting thing again. but I've gotten used to that and, given that he's married and has a kid, yeah, clearly joking.
And, if not clearly joking(and I admit, I'm really kinda rubbish at this sorta thing), my own ethical standards are going to keep anything from happening anyway. I just really, REALLY don't believe in cheating on someone with whom you're in an established relationship. Not only is it a damn scummy thing to do, but it's a sure setup for serious heartbreak. I'm old-fashioned about these things, I'll admit, but while polyamory may actually work for some people, every time I've encountered it, it just seems to become a clusterfuck for all involved.
So, then he and New Line Girl asked if I have a boyfriend. I groaned internally and tried to casually say no and then go back to work like nothing had been said. Cue shocked looks and New Line Girl asking why. So, I explain that I've had some bad relationships in the past and I'd realized that I just had some stuff of my own I needed to work on before I really wanted to even try doing another relationship again and tried to pass the whole thing off by commenting that singlehood wasn't all that bad, given that I have friends and family and animals in my life, so I'm hardly lonely.
And then they proceeded to inform me that, no, really I'm obviously "lacking" something in my life and assured me that they'd help me "find a man" and then everything would just be nifty-keen and hunky-dory.
And I proceeded to bite back what I WANTED to say under a half-hearted laugh and quick retreat. "Oh look! Things I must clean! Lots of things I must clean! RIGHT NOW!"
I just...I'm so sick of this shit. Why doesn't it ever occur to people that if a woman gets into her thirties and is single for the vast majority of that time, she might, oh, have come to terms and made peace with that particular state? Why do we persist in seeing single women as tragic figures who really secretly want to be coupled with someone, ANYONE, no matter what they may say to the contrary?
I'm kinda at that point where I LIKE being single. And anytime I start to feel sorry for myself, it seems like everyone around me starts having relationship drama, and it's like the universe is trying to tell me, "Uh, being single...totally not the worst problem a person can have, kid."
Yes, I visualize the universe as taking the tough love approach. I'm sure Stephen Crane would approve. Some lessons don't really sink in until you lose the approach of "there, there.." in favor of "oh look, here's a boot. Pardon me whilst I connect it with your ass" but, y'know, done entirely with love.
Plus, I'm quite serious about needing to deal with personal stuff. I've had things go to shit romantically in the past, and that doesn't make me altogether that eager to just jump right back into the dating thing. I feel like I'll know when it's time to go back, and...this is just not that time.
Not that I've a thing AGAINST romance, mind you. Romance is lovely. If I meet someone in the future that I feel like sharing my life with, that's a wonderful thing, and I'd embrace it wholeheartedly, but it's also not a tragedy if I DON'T ever get that, as long I DO achieve the long-term goal of being a fully-realized and capable adult human being, and that's NOT something one really needs to be coupled to have happen.
Yes, it's entirely possible that I've just overly cranky at the moment, but I feel like, dammit, I've made my peace with this and why do people have to twit me about the singlehood thing NOW? I mean even taking into account that life is always in a constant state of flux and transformation.
It's still annoying as shit.
And, if not clearly joking(and I admit, I'm really kinda rubbish at this sorta thing), my own ethical standards are going to keep anything from happening anyway. I just really, REALLY don't believe in cheating on someone with whom you're in an established relationship. Not only is it a damn scummy thing to do, but it's a sure setup for serious heartbreak. I'm old-fashioned about these things, I'll admit, but while polyamory may actually work for some people, every time I've encountered it, it just seems to become a clusterfuck for all involved.
So, then he and New Line Girl asked if I have a boyfriend. I groaned internally and tried to casually say no and then go back to work like nothing had been said. Cue shocked looks and New Line Girl asking why. So, I explain that I've had some bad relationships in the past and I'd realized that I just had some stuff of my own I needed to work on before I really wanted to even try doing another relationship again and tried to pass the whole thing off by commenting that singlehood wasn't all that bad, given that I have friends and family and animals in my life, so I'm hardly lonely.
And then they proceeded to inform me that, no, really I'm obviously "lacking" something in my life and assured me that they'd help me "find a man" and then everything would just be nifty-keen and hunky-dory.
And I proceeded to bite back what I WANTED to say under a half-hearted laugh and quick retreat. "Oh look! Things I must clean! Lots of things I must clean! RIGHT NOW!"
I just...I'm so sick of this shit. Why doesn't it ever occur to people that if a woman gets into her thirties and is single for the vast majority of that time, she might, oh, have come to terms and made peace with that particular state? Why do we persist in seeing single women as tragic figures who really secretly want to be coupled with someone, ANYONE, no matter what they may say to the contrary?
I'm kinda at that point where I LIKE being single. And anytime I start to feel sorry for myself, it seems like everyone around me starts having relationship drama, and it's like the universe is trying to tell me, "Uh, being single...totally not the worst problem a person can have, kid."
Yes, I visualize the universe as taking the tough love approach. I'm sure Stephen Crane would approve. Some lessons don't really sink in until you lose the approach of "there, there.." in favor of "oh look, here's a boot. Pardon me whilst I connect it with your ass" but, y'know, done entirely with love.
Plus, I'm quite serious about needing to deal with personal stuff. I've had things go to shit romantically in the past, and that doesn't make me altogether that eager to just jump right back into the dating thing. I feel like I'll know when it's time to go back, and...this is just not that time.
Not that I've a thing AGAINST romance, mind you. Romance is lovely. If I meet someone in the future that I feel like sharing my life with, that's a wonderful thing, and I'd embrace it wholeheartedly, but it's also not a tragedy if I DON'T ever get that, as long I DO achieve the long-term goal of being a fully-realized and capable adult human being, and that's NOT something one really needs to be coupled to have happen.
Yes, it's entirely possible that I've just overly cranky at the moment, but I feel like, dammit, I've made my peace with this and why do people have to twit me about the singlehood thing NOW? I mean even taking into account that life is always in a constant state of flux and transformation.
It's still annoying as shit.