well well well
I haven't posted in quit awhile. Odd. I guess I have just had alot on my mind lately. Which is fine. Sometimes it is good to be occupied with things. But of late it has been stressful things. Some are stupid but stress me none the less. I guess I am just tired of everyone wanting in my business. It seems nothing I do lately my friends approve of. Where I go, who I keep company with, who I may or may not become romantically involved with. Yes I do value the opinions of others, but when it is at the expense of what I feel is right or what I want, it is hard.
I am seriously beginning to question who my friends really are. The majority of my friends are online, and of late I wonder who I can trust and who really has my best interests at heart. Of late it seems there are very few. A few long-standing friends...and what boggles me most, is some of those I have become close to of late and whom I care for greatly are the ones I feel I can trust. Yes of course I want to be able to trust them, but it hurts to think that those I have known for years are so much harder to trust then those I have known for a short while. Perhaps that is my own fault. Who knows.
All I know is this. I am fairly happy right now. But some people in my life are making it so I fear I will soon believe happiness is something I don't have a right to. This...really annoys me. Especially since I have always been a non-believer when it comes to happiness. I guess I just don't want this chance or feeling to pass on *snicker*
So as a result of all of these things, my intake of alcohol has dramatically increased of late. This is ok though...as in a few weeks I start working graveyards and really won't be able to drink since I will have to go to work. But damn...I need to stop drinking so much when I have to work next day. Just isn't...a good thing.
Ok..done. I ramble too much. *snicker*
I am seriously beginning to question who my friends really are. The majority of my friends are online, and of late I wonder who I can trust and who really has my best interests at heart. Of late it seems there are very few. A few long-standing friends...and what boggles me most, is some of those I have become close to of late and whom I care for greatly are the ones I feel I can trust. Yes of course I want to be able to trust them, but it hurts to think that those I have known for years are so much harder to trust then those I have known for a short while. Perhaps that is my own fault. Who knows.
All I know is this. I am fairly happy right now. But some people in my life are making it so I fear I will soon believe happiness is something I don't have a right to. This...really annoys me. Especially since I have always been a non-believer when it comes to happiness. I guess I just don't want this chance or feeling to pass on *snicker*
So as a result of all of these things, my intake of alcohol has dramatically increased of late. This is ok though...as in a few weeks I start working graveyards and really won't be able to drink since I will have to go to work. But damn...I need to stop drinking so much when I have to work next day. Just isn't...a good thing.
Ok..done. I ramble too much. *snicker*