May 12, 2008 14:42
so lately, i've had an idea to make my condo more like home to me... i mean, yeah i live here and yeah all my stuff's here, but it still just doesn't feel like home. so i've been spending money i don't have and know i shouldn't on attempting to make this place home.
looking through all different communities gives me inspiration and thank god daniela is talented in decorating. otherwise, i'd be completely lost. i guess it's my lack of interior-design skills that has made this more difficult to me. to some, it comes natural, but for me not so much.
for instance, when i got home from california, i didn't come back here for the first night. i went to my parent's and travis'. i sleep there everynight but i still don't really call his place home either because all the stuff there is his. i want a place that reflects me and makes me feel comfortable and welcoming to others. i also just want people to come in and think, 'hey, she actually spent time planning out this place' instead, i think people come in and just think typical 21 year old's place who doesn't have money to decorate as much as she could
i want a new bed that fits 2 instead of my twin that i chose to have when i lived in my parent's house...now, it just doesn't accomodate 2 people unless we're sleeping head to toe or sleeping on our sides the whole time. a bed that has a fluffy comfortable and soft sheets...something i look forward to sleeping in everynight...a bed i can just bum around in on lazy days
i realize that i am responsible enough to come up with rent everymonth, but that's basically it. i don't really have any extra cash to spend on things that i would like to have. i mean, i'm not complaining about what i have now, because my parents have helped me out a lot to get me out on my own. and travis does everything to make me happy and comfortable. now, it's time for me to work extra and actually save up for things that i want to make this place look good. not just things that are there, but things that i need and want. more paintings on the walls, more candles, more shelves, an actual coffee table, paint my dining room walls, more 'filler' type of things everywhere to be honest...ugh, now money is the issue:it's either find a second job, or not take summer school to work an extra day. i mean working an extra day is no big deal, because i did it last summer, but i want to get school out of the way so i'll be done by spring. decisions decisions...
and i need a new room mate because henry is moving out this summer. i don't even know where to start. it seems to me everyone is settled. daniela isn't ready to move out so that's out of the question. i hope i dont have to find someone online or something to move in. that all sounds so creepy. i just don't want to give up this place and have to move back home. i want a place to call mine for awhile. it just makes me feel so independent. knowing i have a place to go and just lay on my bed with kiki and blast ridiculous music that i love. watch the shows i want to watch without boring someone else. i don't know why this is such a big deal to me.
taking care of this place has not been so easy. but since henry has announced he's moving out, i have been actually taking initiative into keeping this place looking as nice as possible. seeing as how i might have to pay both parts of rent, i have been noticing things that i would usually overlook. i see this as me growing more responsible because my parents have done everything for me as long as i can remember. it's my turn to take full responsibility of my life and start priding what i have. as long as i have that, i know i can make and finally call this place home.