To Thaw a Frozen Heart Part 1 - A Little Help: Olivia/Natalia
Title: A Little Help
Author: Karjens40
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Summary: A visitor tries to set things right.
Spoilers: Set after the Aug 18th episode. But involves back-story from the Otalia beginning.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these people. Just writing for entertainment.
Part 1
What a mess. Gus Aituro watched unobserved as Olivia Spencer fell deeper into the bottle. He had thought she had gotten past her self destructive tendencies, but he was wrong. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised though. She was hurting and when Olivia hurt she only knew of a few ways to handle it and none of them were constructive.
Gus sighed and stood next to Olivia as she gestured for another martini. “You don’t need that,” he told her knowing she couldn’t see him or hear him but vowed he would make her understand like he had so many times before over the last year.
Olivia frowned but otherwise didn’t seem to be aware of anything except the glass being placed in front of her. She pulled the olive out of the glass and slid it off the toothpick with full lips. Even though he was an angel he couldn’t help but shiver. He’d forgotten the sheer sensuality of the woman he was there to help. Olivia sighed and lifted the glass to take a deep swallow.
“Olivia, what are you doing? This isn’t going to help, you know.” He shook his head sadly at the stubborn woman. He considered everything that had gone on since he’d been killed and his heart given to the woman who currently appeared hell bent on destroying it.
He had been there as Olivia had tried to will herself to die when she found out it was his heart she’d been given. He wanted to alleviate the senseless guilt she felt for wanting a heart but she wasn’t having it. He had loved her in his way and had never wanted her to suffer. It wasn’t the kind of love that she had needed but he had truly cared for her. That’s why he pretended right along with her. She clung to him like a life preserver and he let her, so that she would live. Then fate had stepped in, in the form of his wife Natalia.
Gus sighed as he thought about the amazingly innocent woman he’d married after so many years apart. Se had been his first love and he hers. He still couldn’t believe that she’d never been with anyone else after him and managed to raise a son …his son, all by herself. She truly was a remarkable woman, not to mention beautiful. He had been so grateful for the opportunity to marry her and try to make up for those lost years. He never once considered telling her that he had still been in love with Harley. How could he deny the woman who’d sacrificed so much and stayed faithful to him for so long?
The day he and Natalia got married and he found out that she had locked an ailing Olivia in the bathroom so she wouldn’t interrupt their wedding, he had been furious. He never would have expected something so vindictive of her. It had cost Olivia the heart she’d been waiting for and nearly her life.
In the end it was that desperate decision on Natalia’s part that ultimately ended with him being killed in an accident as he rushed to help Olivia. He had been pretty pissed to realize he was dead, but it wasn’t long before he found out the true purpose of his death. He began his task by silently convincing Natalia to give his heart to Olivia.
Initially he wanted to force Natalia to see the truth that lay hidden beneath Olivia’s care for nothing exterior and for Olivia to finally learn what it was like to have someone who truly cared for her. Then as he watched them together he saw a spark that even they were too blind to notice. The strange relationship had begun with anger and distrust, but while they were never aware of it, he was there observing. He saw the sadness and reluctant concern in Natalia’s eyes when she looked at the withdrawn woman. And even when Olivia berated Natalia and ordered her to leave her alone, Gus saw the pleading in her eyes for Natalia to stay. Gus realized that if any two people belonged together it was Olivia Spencer and Natalia Rivera.
He groaned as he remembered the trouble he’d had trying to get them to even be civil to each other. He’d known that Olivia was difficult even when she wasn’t ill, but he had been surprised by just how stubborn and hardheaded Natalia could be.
He’d started slowly and initially focused his attention on his wife. Olivia’s heart was so closed off he knew he’d never be able to reach her. So whenever Natalia had been baited enough to where she would leave Olivia’s room in frustration, Gus would follow her. He would listen as she talked to him and then he would urge her not to give up on Olivia. He would whisper that even though she hid it well, Olivia needed her and sure enough, the good hearted woman would go back and bully Olivia into submission.
He’d been there through the fights and the eventual easing of hostilities. It hadn’t been easy but Natalia had a soft heart and it took little prodding on his part for her to do the right thing. Then his son Rafael shot Jeffery O’Neill. Gus hadn’t known his son long, but he loved the boy and worried for him. When Rafe went on the run he became more determined to push Natalia and Olivia together. Natalia would need someone strong to lean on and Olivia needed to learn how to care for someone other than herself.
As time went by, he actually found himself amused by their arguments. It made him happy to see the shy girl he loved giving as good as she got to the fiercest woman in Springfield. He also loved to see Olivia finally opening her heart. He was warmed by the way Olivia so often fought for Natalia. For his son. She was still cynical enough that his little whispered words of advice went unheeded but like Natalia, he kept trying to reach her.
When Olivia’s body began to reject the heart, Gus’s plans began to unravel. Olivia reverted back inside of herself and shut out anyone who tried to help her. She became afraid and lashed out at Natalia. The day that Olivia accused Natalia of not giving a damn for her and Natalia all but confirming it, Gus hadn’t known whether to cry or curse. Instead he took an opportunity that Buzz Cooper had unwittingly given him to reach Natalia again. He whispered “Emma” into her ear, knowing Natalia would forget everything to take care of the little girl because she knew Olivia would literally worry herself to death about her daughter.
The uphill battle to bring the women together continued until Gus was about to lose patience with the two obstinate women. Then one event finally turned the tide. After so many months of willing her away, Olivia had finally seen the true value of his wife and offered her a job as her Assistant. To Gus’s frustration, the proud woman refused. It bothered Gus that she was so unsure of herself and he was grateful that Olivia was trying to change that, even if she didn’t know why, but despite Olivia and Gus’s best efforts, nothing worked.
When Olivia tried one last time and then collapsed mid argument, Gus was afraid he was about to be reunited with his heart. He watched as Remy worked tirelessly on Olivia, wishing he could help. He watched as Natalia began to panic when Remy had told her there was no pulse. He heard her plead with Olivia not to give up on her and he knew right then that Natalia felt more for Olivia than she realized or that she’d ever admit. When she began to pray desperately for help, Gus knew it was for herself, not just Emma and Ava that she was praying and he breathed a sigh of relief. He quietly reminded her of the defibrillator Buzz kept behind the bar and thanked God that Natalia heard him as she ran to get it.
That day changed everything. Olivia seemed to latch on to Natalia after that and went out of her way to take care of her. Most of the time she tried to do it without Natalia noticing anything, but Gus wasn’t having that. Natalia needed to see what Olivia was willing to do for her.
Frank Cooper’s interference was as unexpected as it was irritating. Gus couldn’t blame the man for his interest in Natalia. The woman was gorgeous and could stop traffic with her smile, plus she had an innocent vulnerability that a lot of men really loved but Gus knew that Natalia was intended for one person and it wasn’t Frank Cooper.
The day that Olivia gave Natalia back the money she’d lost in a hedge fund, Gus wished for the first time since his death that he was corporeal so he could plant a big fat kiss on the businesswoman. That one act of selflessness seemed to seal Natalia’s recognition that Olivia Spencer was not who she presented to the world.
He relaxed after that but continued to check in on them. He knew that expecting a woman who really loved men and a woman devoted to her religion to instantly acknowledge their attraction to one another was a lot to ask so he was content to let things play out slowly.
The day Olivia kissed Natalia, he wanted to hug Emma for her essay and then shout FINALLY to the heavens. The kiss was brief but powerful as well as hot, he had to admit. He knew that it had hit both women that their relationship had changed forever. He wasn’t surprised that Olivia understood it before Natalia but he had confidence that she’d not be able to resist those eyes of Olivia’s for very long. No one ever could.
Gus soon felt confident in leaving the two women to find their way, so he turned his attention to Rafe. He wanted to be there for his son. To convince him to be strong and not let the system change him for the worse.
After making sure Rafe would be okay, he went back to check on the women and about had a fit when he found Natalia engaged to Frank Cooper and Olivia all but pushing her down the isle. This time, neither woman was listening to him.
The day of the wedding, he had heard Olivia’s words to him at his memorial. He had wanted to weep along with her and he had promptly set out to direct Natalia over to where she would see Olivia’s pain for herself.
He cheered as his wife put her foot down and refused to let Olivia hold back her emotions, forcing the woman to finally admit to Natalia she was in love with her. When Olivia refused to allow Natalia to return the sentiment, he fought an urge to shake her back into her senses. Honestly, he’d never seen a romance that was so complicated and needlessly drawn out.
It was only at the last second, when Natalia was standing in church, looking more beautiful than he remembered and saying her vows to Frank that he was finally able to break through her fear and confusion to reach her.
You’re lying, Natalia. Look at her. Look at Olivia. Look at what you’re throwing away. Don’t do this.
Natalia looked at Olivia and the pain on her Maid of Honor’s face finally did her in and she fled. He had followed Olivia out of the church and helped guide her to where he knew Natalia would be hiding. He sent up a prayer of thanks when she finally told Olivia she loved her and then wanted to pull his hair out when Natalia backed away yet again.
When Olivia walked away from her, Gus was sorely tempted to just wash his hands of the whole mess. Only the devastated look on Natalia’s face kept him there. He followed her back to the house, talking to her the whole time until he was finally confident she heard him.
A few short days later, everything was as it should be. The women had admitted their love again and were happy at last. It was, Gus knew, the first time either women had truly been happy in a very long time.
Gus was about to leave them alone when Rafe was released from prison and started acting like a homophobic jackass. Gus tried very hard to convince his son to let the women be happy, but the boy wasn’t listening. To Gus’s surprise, Natalia refused to let him destroy what she and Olivia had. She’d come so far and he was so proud of her.
And sure enough, just as he was preparing to say a final good by to his weird little family, assured that his wife and her would be lover had finally found what they truly needed, Natalia had been dealt yet another blow. The day she and Olivia planned to announce their relationship to everyone, Natalia found out she had been pregnant for several months and hadn’t even been aware of it. He had no idea how that was even possible and he wasn’t happy in the least that now they would never be without Frank Cooper in the way, but it is what it was. He really did want to ask God when he got back, why Natalia always seemed to be knocked down every time she allowed herself to be happy.
When it became clear that Natalia was going to run, he tried everything he could to get her to stay or to at least leave Olivia a note but her faith had been shaken and she no longer heard him.
He hadn’t known what to do next. Should he stay with Olivia who was confused and more hurt than he’d ever seen her, or should he follow Natalia and persuade her with every bit of angelic power he had, to go home before it was too late.
He finally decided to start with Olivia. He accepted that Natalia needed to figure things out and when she was troubled she turned to God so she was in good hands. However, Olivia handled pain in very specific ways and they could very easily kill her this time.
Now he watched as the depressed woman tossed back the rest of her fifth martini and gestured for yet another. He’d be damned, so to speak, if he’d let that happen. He poked out his finger and knocked over Olivia’s empty glass which drew the bartender’s attention.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Spencer but I think I’m going to have to cut you off. We can be held liable if…”
“Yeah, yeah, do what you’ve gotta do,” Olivia slurred standing up from the stool as best as she was able. The fact that she didn’t even argue told Gus how far gone she was and that she wasn’t near finished. She was just going to find a bar that would serve her and he was going to stop her even if he had to knock her unconscious to do it. He grinned as several possible scenarios ran through his mind.
Olivia stumbled out of Towers with as much dignity as she could muster. When would it stop? She wondered, rubbing her chest where her borrowed heart used to be. How much alcohol was it going to take before she no longer felt anything?
Natalia would totally let her have it for drinking so much. That thought caused the tears to start flowing. She would give anything to have Natalia lecture her about anything right now. But no, Natalia no longer wanted her. No longer cared enough to lecture her. Olivia headed to the place that had given her the most joy and the most pain. Thankfully the gazebo was empty and she collapsed onto the seat and willed her head to clear.
“You really need to stop this Olivia. Self pity doesn’t become you” Gus grinned as Olivia stiffened. She was drunk enough that she was finally susceptible to his whisperings and she apparently had sensed she’d been insulted.
Gus studied the woman he knew so well. He had seen her arrogant, proud, sick, pissed off, loving, when it came to her daughters and just plain determined. He’d never seen her destroyed before and it made him sad and it made him angry. He needed to speak to Natalia and find out what the hell she was doing.
TBC in the Unexpected Guest.