Fic: Be Careful What You Wish For-GL Olivia/Natalia
Title: Be Careful What You Wish For
Author: Karjens40
Pairing: Natalia/Olivia
Fandom: Guiding Light
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Week of June 12 and June 15
Summary: Rafe gets a talking to.
Disclaimer: GL and all characters belong to P & G and Telenext
Archive: P & P, my LJ, Incandescent Fire
AN: Story spurred on by the June 15 episode. More of the angst but it couldn’t be helped. Not sure why I felt the need to include Doris, but I just love her.
*******
“You win.”
Raphael Rivera spun around at the angry voice and was irritated to see the most recent bane of his existence.
“What do you want, Olivia?” He turned his back to the woman who was lounging against her car and locked the door to the hardware store. He wasn’t surprised that his hand was trembling. He knew Olivia Spencer well enough to know when she was irritated and her casual pose didn’t remotely disguise the fact that she had passed being irritated some time ago.
“I came to tell you that you got what you wanted. I ended things with your mother,” she said coolly.
Rafe turned back to the woman, feeling a sense of triumph. Very few people ever won in a battle with Olivia and he couldn’t believe it had been so easy to get his way. “Really?”
“Yes. So you can go back home and stop treating your mother like the Whore of Babylon”.
Rafe lost his temper and took a step toward Olivia. The icy glare on her face stopped him in his tracks. The men he’d met in prison were less intimidating. “What the hell gives you the right to talk to me…?”
“I have every right. You’re an adult. I know it, you know it, and obviously the justice system knows it. Unfortunately, your mother hasn’t yet figured it out. So because you choose to act like an ignorant child, your mother is more miserable than I’ve ever seen her. I can’t…it kills me to see her this way, so I made it easy for her. I just wanted you to know that you can end your little tantrum and move back to the farmhouse.”
Before Rafe could form a decent response, Olivia was in her car and driving away.
*******
Rafe sat at the breakfast table, watching as Natalia prepared pancakes. She hadn’t said one thing about his staying at Frank’s or his reaction to finding out about Olivia. He should be thrilled. He had a job, his mother had finally come to her senses, and things were finally going his way.
He knew his mom was sad and he felt bad about that, but she’d come around. Soon she’d be free of whatever it was that Olivia had over her and she could be his mother again. Maybe she could even get back with Frank. Things could finally be normal.
Rafe thought about the few days he’d spent with his mentor. Frank had told him that he’d been angry and blamed Olivia, just like Rafe had done, but he'd seen them together too and he was forced to realize that they truly did love each other. He told Rafe that he’d have to do the same thing. Love wasn’t as cut and dry as people made it out to be.
“The pancakes smell good ,” he said finally.
Natalia offered a smile that had Rafe been looking closely, didn’t look quite right. Her eyes didn’t sparkle, the dimples were barely visible and the chin trembled. “They’re almost finished.”
Rafe watched curiously as Natalia fixed him a plate and set it on the table in front of him. “Thanks.” He dug into his breakfast, fully expecting his mother to join him. He was surprised when she simply walked past him and into the living room.
He frowned, the enjoyment of his breakfast fading as he wondered what it would take to get his mother to forget whatever it was she thought she felt for Olivia.
He pushed his plate away and joined Natalia where she sat almost flopped on the couch, looking at that damned picture of Olivia, Emma and her.
“Come on, Ma. You’ve hardly said anything in a week. What’s the matter?”
Natalia looked at her son in bemusement. “Nothing, Rafe. Look it’s a nice day, why don’t you go for a run or something?”
“I could do that,” he said pleasantly, trying to tease a smile out of the morose woman, “or we could into town and get some ice cream or something.”
He was startled when he saw Natalia’s nose turn red and her eyes fill with tears. “What? What did I say?”
“Nothing, Rafe.”
Rafe sighed in frustration and sat down. “Look, I know you’re upset about Olivia right now, but it was just a phase or something. You’ll see. She told me she ended it. Now you can live your life and she can dig her claws into someone else.”
Natalia shot upright and glared at the son she’d already given up so much for. “I’ve had just about enough. I’m sorry that you don’t approve, but I’m in love with Olivia, and much more than that, I need her. She makes me whole. She fills the place in my heart that I thought would stay hollow forever after Gus died.” She stopped as it finally hit her again that Olivia was gone. Once again the stubborn woman had decided for them both what needed to be done. Her hand went straight to her chest which was hurting more than she could ever remember.
“Ma. I understand now. I do. You were lonely, overwhelmed, you and Olivia had been spending so much time together it makes sense that you’d think…”
“You understand nothing, Rafe. I don’t know how or why it happened but it did. We both tried to fight it for so long. And by the way, I don’t like the way you talk about Olivia either. You have no idea what that woman has done for you. For us. We wouldn’t even have this house if it wasn’t for her.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She's the one that got our money back from the investment fund. She had to quit a job she loved more than anything and had to all but grovel to the man who forced her into it. She gave up her independence to move in here and help with rent so I could afford the mortgage. She’s made herself sick I don’t know how many times defending me and making sure you got better treatment when you were in prison. And on top of that, she planned my wedding to Frank, she gave me an engagement party, she bought me a dress, and she volunteered to be my maid of honor, despite her feelings for me. Can you even comprehend what that cost her? And now she has to listen to you and Frank accuse her of forcing me to love her.”
“It’s wrong Ma,” Rafe argued. “The Bible says...”
“The Bible says a lot of things, Rafe, but God, my God is about love. What Olivia and I have isn’t lust or just an ‘itch to scratch’. It’s true love. Love I thought I’d never have again.”
“But…”
“But what, Rafe? You used to tell me that all you wanted was for me to be happy.”
Rafe was shaken. His mother had never sounded so angry with him. “I do, but…”
“Olivia makes me happy. Happier than I can remember being in a very long time. And what was it you told me at the wedding? If I found someone who loved me and who I loved, I should hold on to that. Have you changed your mind? Or do you only want my happiness as long as it’s on your terms?”
Rafe started to reply but the phone rang, interrupting him and with no small amount of relief, he got up to answer.
“Hello?”
Natalia had no interest in who was on the line until she heard her son say ‘munchkin’. Her stomach leapt into her throat. Emma. The little girl whom she’d come to think of as her own. The little girl she hadn’t allowed herself to see since Olivia told her it was over.
“Mom, Emma wants to talk to you.”
Natalia didn’t have the heart to refuse to talk to her so she took the phone.
“Hi sweetie. How are you?”
“I’m okay. I miss you and was wondering if I could come see you this weekend?”
The hopeful tone in the little girl’s voice broke her heart, but she knew if Emma came over, more than likely Olivia would bring her and she just wasn’t ready for that.
“I miss you too, sweetheart and I would love to see you, but I’ve got some things I need to do.”
Emma was silent for a moment. “Are you mad at me?”
A pitiful sound between a moan and a sob escaped Natalia’s throat at the fearful and hurt tone of Emma’s voice. “No. Oh no Emma. I’m not mad at you. I love you. I just… I’ll come see you soon, I promise. Okay?”
“Okay. Bye, Natalia.”
Natalia stared at the phone for a long painful minute before she finally gave into the tears she’d been holding back since Rafe came home from Frank’s.
“Mom?” Rafe went to sit next to Natalia and rubbed her back. “Come on, mom. It’ll be alright. You’ll see.” Natalia just cried harder and Rafe decided he needed to go for a run.
********
“So, Rafe. It sounds like things are going well. You’ve got a job and Frank Cooper has said wonderful things about your progress. I must say you seem a lot more settled than the last time you were here.”
Rafe fought not to glare at the condescending parole officer. “Yeah, things are a lot better. I feel like things are getting back to normal.”
“Good. Actually our meeting is going to be cut short today. There’s someone here who wanted to speak to you, so I’m going to leave you to it.”
Rafe’s eyebrows lifted in surprise as he watched the man leave. He almost fell out of his chair when he saw who entered.
“Hello Rafe.”
“Mayor Wolfe?” He asked dumbly.
“That’s me.” The Mayor crossed in front of him and instead of sitting behind the desk, she leaned against it and crossed her arms looking down at the young man who was proving to be more difficult outside of prison than he ever was on the inside.
“Why?” Rafe asked, wondering if she was here as Mayor or Prosecutor. “I haven’t violated my parole,” he stated, starting to feel afraid.
“No you haven’t. This isn’t about that.”
“Well then what…?”
“I just wanted to meet the young man who’s caused so much trouble for two people who don’t deserve it.”
Rafe bit down his natural instinct to retreat into defensive mode. It wouldn’t do him any good to piss off not just the Mayor but a prosecutor as well. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Doris snorted. “Yes you do. You’re determined to make sure your mother stays either lonely or tied to you and you alone for the rest of her life. Why?”
“You don’t know anything about it. What business is this of yours anyway?”
Doris stared at the young man that Olivia and Natalia had spent the last year fighting tooth and nail for. His belligerent attitude didn’t phase her one bit.
“It’s my business because a lot of people, myself included, have gone out of their way to help you and you’ve done nothing but act like a brat.”
“I…”
“No. You sit there and listen. Your mother and Olivia have oddly enough become friends of mine. Especially Olivia and I’m well aware of everything that these two have done to help you. Especially your mom. You have no idea of what she went through while you were away.” She was pleased to see he looked at least a little ashamed at that.
“I’m also aware of Natalia and Olivia’s relationship and the fact that you have single handedly managed to destroy something that they both have been looking for and needing for a long time.“
“They can’t be together. It’s wrong,” Rafe protested.
“Says who,” Doris laughed. “You? Who made you the authority on love and religion?”
“It’s a sin. I mean, Mom made me go to church and do all that praying, trying to make me follow all these rules and scriptures and then she turns around and does this?”
“Does what? Yes, there is a very small part in the Bible about it, but the majority of the Bible, especially the New Testament, is about love. In fact,” she eyed the young upset man cautiously. She almost regretted saying this next part, but she was tired of people walking on eggshells around this kid. “It seems to me that God frowns more on attempted murder, lying, judging people and…what other things have you been guilty of?”
She paused as she let that sink in. “Look Rafe. I know this situation is new and confusing to you, but you need to understand that it’s not about you. Do you love your mother?”
“What kind of question is that?” he asked trying not to sound effected by Doris’s verbal spanking. “Of course I love my mom.”
“Then why can’t you just be happy for her? You don’t have to necessarily jump up and down about it, but at least try and act like a grown up. Accept the fact that she finally found someone who loves her, takes care of her and supports her, just like she has someone to love, take care of and support. Someone other than you. For once, let her have some happiness for herself.”
Rafe was speechless. The Mayor’s words seemed to punch him right in the gut. He suddenly thought about what he saw that day. The closeness between his mother and Olivia. The gentle loving way they looked at each other. He really couldn’t remember seeing his mother so at peace.
“Think about what I’ve said Rafe. You have a choice. Continue on and let your bigotry and judgments ruin your relationship with your mother and make you both miserable, or act like an adult and finally have a family, weird though it may be, that loves you,” and without another word, Doris left the office and Rafe sat stunned. He needed to leave. He had some thinking to do.
******
“Rafe? Dinner’s almost ready, can you come set the table?”
Rafe sauntered into the kitchen and began to take down four plates without saying anything.
“Uh, Rafe? It’s only the two of us,” Natalia said with a little laugh.
“I know,” he said vaguely but continued to set a place for four.
“What are you doing?” Natalia asked, wondering what her son was up to. Just then a knock came at the door. She sighed and went to answer, guessing that Rafe had invited Frank and someone else to dinner.
“Rafe, you should have told me you invited people over,” she said as she went to the door. “I don’t know if we have enough…Olivia?”
Natalia’s knees nearly buckled when she saw the beaming face of the woman she loved standing in the door way.
“Can we come in?” Olivia said casually, but with a grin that belied her calm demeanor.
“We?”
“Natalia!” A small little body ran full force into Natalia’s causing her to oomph in reaction.
“Hi, sweetie,” Natalia dropped to her knees to embrace the little girl like she’d been wanting to for so long.
“I missed you,” Emma said into her second mommy’s hair.
“Not as much as I missed you,” Natalia teased, pulling away.
“Uh huh,” Emma protested.
“So? Can we come in?” Olivia interrupted.
Natalia got to her feet. “Of course,” she said, fighting the impulse to embrace Emma’s mother just as strongly as she had the little girl.
Olivia and Emma entered the warm kitchen and stopped as they saw Rafe watching them. Emma instantly ran to the young man who picked her up.
“Hey,” he said into the grinning little face.
“Hey,” Emma replied with a big smile. Rafe looked between Olivia and Natalia for a long moment. “Uh, come on squirt. Let’s go checkout the video games.”
Almost before Rafe and Emma had completely left the room, Natalia was in Olivia’s arms. “Why are you here?” she whispered.
Olivia pulled back but didn’t release Natalia completely. “I can leave if…” she smiled as if she were teasing, but Olivia hadn’t forgotten that she was the one to end things with the other woman.
“Oh no you don’t. I just meant…I’m confused.”
“Me too, actually. Rafe came to see me today after his meeting with the parole officer. He apologized for his reaction and said that someone had opened his eyes to a few things. He said that he wasn’t sure he’d ever understand our relationship, but he knows I make you happy and that’s all he wants. So he invited me over.”
“Oh god,” Natalia wanted to cry. “I can’t believe it.”
“I couldn’t either. But I don’t care. As long as it means I can be with you, that’s all that matters. “Olivia lifted her hand and stroked down Natalia’s cheek. “I’m sorry that I broke up with you. I only wanted to make things easier for you.”
“You need to stop doing things like that Olivia,” Natalia covered Olivia’s hand with hers. Stop acting unilaterally. I love how you want to help me and protect me, but when you do these things, ‘for my own good’, it usually winds up hurting me.”
Olivia looked mortified. “That’s the last thing I want to do,” she protested.
Natalia smiled, her dimples making their first true appearance in a long time. “I know. Just talk to me and let me help decide what’s for my own good, okay?”
“Okay,” Olivia said seriously. Then she grinned. “Um. Would it be acting unilaterally if I were to kiss you right now?”
Natalia snorted. “Uh, since you asked me, then no.” Her smile faded. “It’s been a very long time since you kissed me.
“Yes. Yes it has.” Without further comment, Olivia leaned down and met Natalia’s lips with her own. The kiss started out slow, but within seconds, Natalia had her hands buried in Olivia’s hair, and Olivia’s arms had wrapped firmly around Natalia.
“Mom, come here.”
The ladies jumped apart at Emma’s call. They took a quick second to fix their hair and catch their breath, and then they smiled.
“One day,” Natalia promised.
“Soon.” Olivia agreed.