despite all evidence to the contrary, i am not actually dead
I think I've got something figured out. Not only does everything I eat go to my hips, thighs and stomach, it goes to my boobs too. I just bought new bras because half my old ones were crap, and they fit perfectly. Just wonderfully, and it was a miracle because I never have bras that fit. I even had a whole trial period to make sure--I got two new bras about a month ago, and then when I figured out which style fit best, I went out and bought three more of the same style. Now, only a week later, they're all too small. All four of them!
The only possible explanation is that the four pounds I've gained since I bought them have gone to make my already huge chest even bigger. Now it is absolutely imperative that I lose weight immediately! Or at least those four pounds!
Um, I am gonna finish eating the two big chunks of dark chocolate sitting in front of me first. They're just too good to waste.
The only possible explanation is that the four pounds I've gained since I bought them have gone to make my already huge chest even bigger. Now it is absolutely imperative that I lose weight immediately! Or at least those four pounds!
Um, I am gonna finish eating the two big chunks of dark chocolate sitting in front of me first. They're just too good to waste.