To: T

Dec 10, 2009 15:11

I wanted to write this where none of my friends would read it, because I don't want them to know about this yet. If you, T, ever read this, it probably means that we're together, which means that I am really happy. As it is now, though, I haven't seen you in two months, give or take a few days. I tried calling you, but calling people makes me nervous, especially you.

I try not to say that I hate anyone, because my parents always told me that hate is a strong word. But, your ex is probably the closest I'll come to hating someone. I hate what she did to you, just because you broke up with her. I also hate what she did to me, indirectly. I felt really comfortable around you. After knowing you for a week, I told you about stuff that I haven't told the people I'd known for years, like my dad. I liked that you asked what I thought, and we could have serious conversations about religion and such. Usually, I don't talk about my religion, but I could talk to you about it. Now you're gone, and you didn't even tell me you were leaving. I'd like to think that it's because you just didn't want to say goodbye to me, but I think it was probably more that you didn't really think that I would care. Well, I did care, and I still do care.

Every time I see the sushi at the Grille, I think of you. That was the last time I really spent time with you. That night, I updated my fb status saying that just being with you, as friends, was enough. I didn't need any more than that. Then you didn't show up to class for the next 3 days, and I knew that it was probably because you had left. I kind of wish I had told you then, that I liked you. But it really truly was enough for me just to hang out with you. Just that made me really happy.

I'm really hoping that you come back next semester, but I have no idea what your sentence was, and I am too afraid of what the answer will be to ask anyone. Next time I see you, though, (and there will be a next time,) I'll at least hint at how I feel about you. Maybe that will be enough.

Love,
Me
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