Martha and Karon
Kari and I are odd so we ended up wondering what would happen if Karon appeared on a show with Martha Stewart. And this is our answer:
Martha: Today we're going to make puppy muffins...
Karon: Kan we hav doktors in mine tea two?
Martha: No, that's our next episode... So, you're going to need, first of all, puppies *picks up a puppy out of a basket* Aren't they adorable ...and sweet. Make sure your puppies are ripe.
Karon: Hou do we tel? Skweeez them, mebe?
Martha: No. You don't skweez...err, squeeze them, you'll only end up bruising them. To make sure a puppy is ripe, you have to sniff the puppy.
Karon: Ewe, butt the poopies, smel
Martha: Well, that's a good thing because a smelly puppy is a ripe puppy
Karon: I don wand too eet smely poopies!
Martha: If you don't want to smell the puppies then you can use tofu, for you picky eaters
Karon: Toe foo? What is toe foo???
Martha: *makes big gestures* NO... TOFU, it's a soy-bean substitute for puppies *sets puppies aside* Let's go on, shall we?
Karon: Hou dus toe foo make poopies?
Martha: *fade out.....commercial break..... Martha swoops down on Karon's ass* You little german bitch! *continues to beat her up*
Karon: HELP! SHEE IS GOEENG TO DEAD MEE!
Martha: shut up! shut up! speak right! *stage crew breaks them up, Martha composes herself..... fade in* All right, now that we know how to pick a ripe puppy, let's go on. The next thing you'll need is 5 cups of sugar, 1 cup of vanilla extract and 2 cups of flour.
Karon: Wil flowers go wel with poopies?
Martha: Yes, flour helps bind the puppies together so your muffins come out spongy
Karon: Spunji poopy muffins? With flowers? Are you mat?
Martha: No, I'm educated, now are you going to help me or not? Hand me a puppy
Karon: I dont wand two tuch the poopies
Martha: *takes a deep breath but smiles* All right, *grabs a puppy and stuffs it in the mixer* Hand me the sugar then
Karon: *looks around at the labeled boxes* Sure gar? I dont si sure gar...
Martha: Oh, I forgot... *quickly re-labels everything via Alta-Vista Translator (from english to german back to english)*
Karon: Oh!!!!!!!!! I si itch nou! *picks up sure gar and passes it to Martha*
Martha: *tosses the rest of the ingredients into the mixer* Now, Karon, why don't you go ahead and turn on the oven so it can pre-heat while we do this.
Karon: Okaaaaaaaaaay... ovin... onn... toorn the... ovin.. onn... *pulls a blender out of a cabinet* This?
Martha: *snaps a puppy's neck in frustration* NO. *smiles for the camera at all times anyway* The o-v-e-n *pushes Karon toward the oven* Now, turn it on to 350F
Karon: Ewe deadend the poopie!!
Martha: You mean this? *waves said dead puppy in Karon's face*
Karon: Ewe ar sew meen!!
Karon: Its death!
Martha: *fade out....commercial (The Snuggle Bear comes on)* You little freak! *beats Karon with dead puppy*
Karon: AHHH! Shees beeting me!! I feal dead comming! HELP! The Grime Reapear is comming!
Martha: *Jerry Springer guards comes out of no where to break it up*
Karon: Thenk ewe sew mcuH!
Martha: I'm ok *pushes everyone away* I'm ok...*sighs* *fade in...* Well, all right, now I'm so wishing I had a gas oven *looks at Karon* which you could've stuck your head in once the gas was turned on *Looks at the camera* It's a good thing.
Karon: Gud think???
Karon: Thats bat!
Martha: Only if it didn't work.
Karon: *gives her a look* The Grime Reapear will git yoo!
Martha: I am the Grime Reapear! *sheds Martha outfit*
Karon: YEY! *hugs him* Grimey!!!
Martha: *sprays her with Tilex*
Karon: Hee hee that tiggles
Martha: It does? *looks at the bottle* Hmmm *sprays self and giggles* You're right!
Karon and the Grime Reapear lived happily ever after
The End
Staring Kari as Martha and Belle as Karon
Martha: Today we're going to make puppy muffins...
Karon: Kan we hav doktors in mine tea two?
Martha: No, that's our next episode... So, you're going to need, first of all, puppies *picks up a puppy out of a basket* Aren't they adorable ...and sweet. Make sure your puppies are ripe.
Karon: Hou do we tel? Skweeez them, mebe?
Martha: No. You don't skweez...err, squeeze them, you'll only end up bruising them. To make sure a puppy is ripe, you have to sniff the puppy.
Karon: Ewe, butt the poopies, smel
Martha: Well, that's a good thing because a smelly puppy is a ripe puppy
Karon: I don wand too eet smely poopies!
Martha: If you don't want to smell the puppies then you can use tofu, for you picky eaters
Karon: Toe foo? What is toe foo???
Martha: *makes big gestures* NO... TOFU, it's a soy-bean substitute for puppies *sets puppies aside* Let's go on, shall we?
Karon: Hou dus toe foo make poopies?
Martha: *fade out.....commercial break..... Martha swoops down on Karon's ass* You little german bitch! *continues to beat her up*
Karon: HELP! SHEE IS GOEENG TO DEAD MEE!
Martha: shut up! shut up! speak right! *stage crew breaks them up, Martha composes herself..... fade in* All right, now that we know how to pick a ripe puppy, let's go on. The next thing you'll need is 5 cups of sugar, 1 cup of vanilla extract and 2 cups of flour.
Karon: Wil flowers go wel with poopies?
Martha: Yes, flour helps bind the puppies together so your muffins come out spongy
Karon: Spunji poopy muffins? With flowers? Are you mat?
Martha: No, I'm educated, now are you going to help me or not? Hand me a puppy
Karon: I dont wand two tuch the poopies
Martha: *takes a deep breath but smiles* All right, *grabs a puppy and stuffs it in the mixer* Hand me the sugar then
Karon: *looks around at the labeled boxes* Sure gar? I dont si sure gar...
Martha: Oh, I forgot... *quickly re-labels everything via Alta-Vista Translator (from english to german back to english)*
Karon: Oh!!!!!!!!! I si itch nou! *picks up sure gar and passes it to Martha*
Martha: *tosses the rest of the ingredients into the mixer* Now, Karon, why don't you go ahead and turn on the oven so it can pre-heat while we do this.
Karon: Okaaaaaaaaaay... ovin... onn... toorn the... ovin.. onn... *pulls a blender out of a cabinet* This?
Martha: *snaps a puppy's neck in frustration* NO. *smiles for the camera at all times anyway* The o-v-e-n *pushes Karon toward the oven* Now, turn it on to 350F
Karon: Ewe deadend the poopie!!
Martha: You mean this? *waves said dead puppy in Karon's face*
Karon: Ewe ar sew meen!!
Karon: Its death!
Martha: *fade out....commercial (The Snuggle Bear comes on)* You little freak! *beats Karon with dead puppy*
Karon: AHHH! Shees beeting me!! I feal dead comming! HELP! The Grime Reapear is comming!
Martha: *Jerry Springer guards comes out of no where to break it up*
Karon: Thenk ewe sew mcuH!
Martha: I'm ok *pushes everyone away* I'm ok...*sighs* *fade in...* Well, all right, now I'm so wishing I had a gas oven *looks at Karon* which you could've stuck your head in once the gas was turned on *Looks at the camera* It's a good thing.
Karon: Gud think???
Karon: Thats bat!
Martha: Only if it didn't work.
Karon: *gives her a look* The Grime Reapear will git yoo!
Martha: I am the Grime Reapear! *sheds Martha outfit*
Karon: YEY! *hugs him* Grimey!!!
Martha: *sprays her with Tilex*
Karon: Hee hee that tiggles
Martha: It does? *looks at the bottle* Hmmm *sprays self and giggles* You're right!
Karon and the Grime Reapear lived happily ever after
The End
Staring Kari as Martha and Belle as Karon