Haldir VSD
I swear I posted this already, but I guess I didn't so...
The Semi-Secret Diary of Haldir, Elven Baker
Day 1:
Stuck in Lorien all day, Galadriel won’t let me go out, is no fun being a guard.
Day 2:
Have been promoted to Marchwarden, now I can nance around outside Caras Galadhon instead of inside it, yay.
Day 1,271:
This is boring.
Day 1,274:
Got bitten by a squirrel. Hate squirrels.
Day 1,891:
Fellowship of the ring arrived today. There was a dwarf. I should have shot him, but was distracted by disarrayed state of Aragorn’s hair. Does he ever bathe?
Day 1,892:
Gimli insulted me. Am hurt. Have made 5 dozen cupcakes to compensate.
Day 1,899:
Legolas stopped up Galadriel’s drain, would not care except that *I* have to clean it. Hate Legolas. Will make more cupcakes.
Day 1,900:
Galadriel came by when she smelled cupcakes. I invited her in, and she then proceeded to eat all of them. Am miffed. I will have my revenge.
Day 1,912:
Have replaced Galadriel’s shampoo with red hair dye. No one messes with my cupcakes. Dye bitch, dye.
Day 1,913:
Galadriel not pleased, has sent me on suicide mission to aid men in hopeless siege. Hate Galadriel.
Day 1,921:
Arrived in Helms Deep. Aragorn was delighted to see me, was not so delighted myself as he proceeded to hug me. Would not have been so bad though except am quite sure he still has not washed his hair. Ew.
Day 1,922:
Killed by Orcs. Hate Orcs. Miss my cupcakes.
The Semi-Secret Diary of Haldir, Elven Baker
Day 1:
Stuck in Lorien all day, Galadriel won’t let me go out, is no fun being a guard.
Day 2:
Have been promoted to Marchwarden, now I can nance around outside Caras Galadhon instead of inside it, yay.
Day 1,271:
This is boring.
Day 1,274:
Got bitten by a squirrel. Hate squirrels.
Day 1,891:
Fellowship of the ring arrived today. There was a dwarf. I should have shot him, but was distracted by disarrayed state of Aragorn’s hair. Does he ever bathe?
Day 1,892:
Gimli insulted me. Am hurt. Have made 5 dozen cupcakes to compensate.
Day 1,899:
Legolas stopped up Galadriel’s drain, would not care except that *I* have to clean it. Hate Legolas. Will make more cupcakes.
Day 1,900:
Galadriel came by when she smelled cupcakes. I invited her in, and she then proceeded to eat all of them. Am miffed. I will have my revenge.
Day 1,912:
Have replaced Galadriel’s shampoo with red hair dye. No one messes with my cupcakes. Dye bitch, dye.
Day 1,913:
Galadriel not pleased, has sent me on suicide mission to aid men in hopeless siege. Hate Galadriel.
Day 1,921:
Arrived in Helms Deep. Aragorn was delighted to see me, was not so delighted myself as he proceeded to hug me. Would not have been so bad though except am quite sure he still has not washed his hair. Ew.
Day 1,922:
Killed by Orcs. Hate Orcs. Miss my cupcakes.